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[Alabamaboy!]

You know what Henry, that is the way the game is played down there. And you cannot really blame them. Because if they put all their eggs in one basket, the odds are they are going to be left with nothing at the end. A good example is one of my "amigas" in BAQ. She was engaged to a guy from ATL, and her two best friends were also engaged with two other guys from ATL as well. So the 6 of them became great friends, made a bunch of trips together, had some great times. But in the end, all three of the guys from ATL dumped the Barranquilleras at virtually the same time!!! So in the end all of the girls were left with nothing. And at least with my "amiga" she put her 100% into the relationship, she disappeared from all the Facebook, Hi5, all that, out of respect for her fiancee.

So now after spending a few years traveling to Colombia, I  get what is happening there. What the rules are. So you need to understand that and play along by the same rules if you want to really protect yourself. Because almost all the women there are not going to be sitting around waiting for you for your yearly visit. They are going to be filling their dance card, or at least going to be chatting and spending time looking around. So don't feel shy about doing it yourself. Because there is just as big a chance that you will get dumped as she will. Maybe more so.

I draw the line though when you are engaged. Then the games should stop. But that being said, since my girl has been playing some games, (see thread "Barranquilla Baloney"), I am at least starting to talk to some other girls again. Just in case. But being honest to everyone, including my girl.

[Alabamaboy!]

I think to avoid all these games, you should move relatively quickly with the relationship. I know that does not make sense to most of you guys, but I am talking about how Fathertime moved on his girl. He went down there a few times, they hit it off. they had chemistry, and he made his mood, did not hesitate on things, got married, now she is pregnant, and things are rollin. Some guys seem to be paralyzed with fear or something. I can understand it if you are 25 years old or something and don't even know what you are looking for. But if you are in your 40's and find someone who has 80% of what you are looking for, and you have good chemistry, then go for it? Why wait?

If you wait, I guarantee you more BS is going to pop up with Facebook, her "amigos", her dreams to study to be an astronaut or whatever. Because these girls know they have a date of expiration stamped on them. If they are 30 years old, nobody is going to be interested in them. So if they are going to find a good guy they have a small number of years to do so. Or if they want to have their career. Same deal.

And I feel you will never really know how your girl is until she gets to the States anyway. Especially if they are from the Coast. Because BAQ might as well be a planet in another galaxy, that is how different it seems from the USA.

[bcc_1_2]

If you wait, I guarantee you more BS is going to pop up with Facebook, her "amigos", her dreams to study to be an astronaut or whatever. Because these girls know they have a date of expiration stamped on them.

It seems advice can get polarized. In some instances I agree waiting is bad. Waiting 10 months to meet a girl you met online is bad. Stringing a girl along for years is bad. In many regards you can drag your feet.

On the other hand rushing is bad as well. You miss a lot of signals and issues when you rush that you will eventually have to deal with.

There is a pace that is just right and it will vary from couple to couple. Getting engaged on the first meeting in general is a bad idea. It may have worked out for some. But it reminds me of the girl that had success on her Taco Bell diet. Results are not typical 

On the other end of the spectrum stringing a girl along online for months or years is not cool either.

The best advice is you need to be prepared to meet a girl 3 months after making contact online. And after a successful first visit you need to be prepared to return as soon as you can. (3 months, 6 months later ok, 2 years later... not cool).

As for this astronaut business... if a girl told me she wanted to go to the United States to become a model (or something like that) I nexted her ass fast. Best to go with a chica that has reasonable expectations. Like I want to study design and fashion at a community college in the United States.

This is why you can't just go with the flow and must ask questions. I could generally figure out enough information in 5 minutes of conversation that would nix most girls. That saves a lot of time.

[Alabamaboy!]

Good advice bcc, not too fast, not too slow. But if they want something that is unreasonable or have a deal breaker in there somewhere, it is best to just cut the relationship and move on rather than waste a lot of time, energy, and possibly money. If it is reasonable, then cool. Those things can be discussed now or later, no problem. As long as it is reasonable to you. It is not fair or rational to think that you are going to find someone perfect, exactly like your dreams.

That is why I liked Jamies place when I went there. If you really know what you are looking for, you can sort through a mountain of women in a few days, painlessly, quickly, efficiently. I thought it was worth the cash. It compressed like 4 years of searching into a couple weeks.