Life the second time

[Bear]

Yeah I know y'all heard me say some of these thing before but I still am in shock that its actually happening.  I watched my oldest become a "champion" t-baller on Thursday nite and then graduate Kindergarten last night.  My wife in tears, trying to look "perfect" for these events thinking I don't know its because she is so emotionally happy about it.  I still worry about next year when the middle boy will be playing t-ball and the oldest will be moving up to machine pitch in addition to the other activities we plan on putting them in like music lessons, martial arts and church activities (how am I gonna be in so many places at the same time?).

My oldest son in Saudi will be coming home next month and I'll get to see one of my grand daughters for the first time. On Wednesday I reach the "senior citizen" age and I think someone might be planning a big party!?

In this last year I was moved from Service "retrofit" to "Install" engineering.  Tuesday I got in a big discussion (read argument) about why I hadn't finish a submittal with one of the new PMs when another engineer had completed his similar submittal and he got his assignment the same day as I did.  We checked the list of jobs and I had 3x more work assigned to me than him!!?  MOF, I had more than any other engineer, in most cases 2-3x more.  Everyone shut up and walked away; not knowing what to say I guess or afraid they might have just opened a big, bad bag of worms?  Think its time to ask for a raise?  We hired 11 people 2 weeks ago, over 20 this year.  I spend 2-3 hours a day "training" new guys right in the middle of our heaviest workload and then watch them go home at 5 PM!?  Hey! No one says it but I am "the man" around there.  If it wasn't for "t-ball" I'd be living there and my son is making sure I have lots of reasons to go home.

Who says marrying a girl 20 years younger than you is all fun?  Well okay, you're partially right!

The Bear Family

[stevjulietb]

Bear,

Sorry if this sounds like I am a Smart asp, are you venting or bragging?  I have followed your posts for 7 or 8 years, take care of your health so you can take care of your family.

Concern for you,

Steveb

Yes my bluntness gets me in trouble!  LOL

[Bear]

I didn't see your response negatively?

Complaining?  Don't think it would get me anywhere.  Bragging?  More "shock!" in the work arena.  20 years ago I could have been perfect to a "T" and gotten in trouble for it and the "ex" would have been ragging me; now I seem to be almost untouchable, since I met Honey its like everything goes my way?  In I am constantly amazed at how much the office depends on me in my areas of expertise.  I think several others have shown great skills I don't have.  I am in no way the best engineer in this place, but it seems like I am treated like I am.  With the exception of a few circumstances (like today) when my son's outside activities caused me to leave work early Thursday and Friday, I'm not putting in the 12 hr days 7 days a week anymore.  We work a 9-8-0 schedule and I stick to it since the last "heart attack" warning.

As for the kids extracurricular activities, next year that is gonna hurt.  If Honey doesn't start driving this summer I just don't see how I can accomplish all those "deserved" activities for them.  Filipinas do not seem to have much experience with these sort of things and I think Honey is just starting to see where phrases like "Mommy taxi" comes from.  She didn't comprehend "t-ball", and I bet ya scouting really blows her away (at least that's still 2 years away).

I think I am mostly just amazed at how being married to the right girl changed the direction my life is headed with out much of anything else changing.  It seems like I'm "blessed" somehow?  Even when I think I made the wrong decision it works out, like my investments?!  I used to define myself as "the murphy law"(?), everything went wrong!  Even healthwise everytime I go to the doc nothing pans out negatively, I'm healthy as long as I say on my medications.  Nothing different than most of y'all don't have.  Maybe its just "attitude".  Doesn't mean I don't have aches and pains, its just don't don't seem as negative as they did 25 years ago.

I feel like I'm living the life of a 30 y.o. at the age of 55.  Its my second time around.  How many people get to do that!!!  Point of view is everything (I call it 'attitude').  I hear these young guys being so negative about older guys and younger girls with their miopic deviant focus and I wonder how long it will be before they too realize there are zillions of reasons for everything and theirs usually isn't it. (I actually learned that in a marketing class 30 years ago but it didn't "snap" until 10 years ago.) 

The Bear Family

[satori]

Congrats Bear.  Always look forward to your posts and appreciate your candor.  Hopefully, we can all be so lucky.  Enjoy and take care of your health.

[piglett]

.

As for the kids extracurricular activities, next year that is gonna hurt.  If Honey doesn't start driving this summer I just don't see how I can accomplish all those "deserved" activities for them.  Filipinas do not seem to have much experience with these sort of things and I think Honey is just starting to see where phrases like "Mommy taxi" comes from.  She didn't comprehend "t-ball", and I bet ya scouting really blows her away (at least that's still 2 years away).

Bear it sounds like you may have to make some choices.
if Honey can't or wouldn't drive then you are only going to be able to do so much.
i guess you could take the "cubs" to a park when time permits & have your own game of t-ball
if honey plays, you have 5 people involved in the game & that may just have to do.
if you lived in a very rural setting there would not be any t-ball team for the cubs to join.
I am sure they would survive. What kinds of activities could you get them involved in at home?
do you have a back yard? set up a badmitten net
how about a driveway? get a basketball hoop
there is no way that your going to be able to run 3 kids to 3 different activities on your own.
even if you could you would be running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.
want lots of stress in your life ? give it a try
but you & I both already that it just wouldn't work.
so i would figure out what is doable & go with that


just me 2 cents
piglett 

[Bear]

He and his team, the Red Sox beat the Pirates in a best of three "T-ball World Series" playoff.  We've already been asked to return next year on the same team.  Award ceremony and banquet tomorrow.

The Bear Family

[piglett]

Wow i guess they take their T-ball seriously in Texas.
never heard of any T-ball world series.
Do to the fact that i see now that i don't/can't understand the situation i wish to retract my previous statement.
Bear Honey needs to learn how to drive 

piglett

[Bear]

It was cool!!  He got 2 really big trophies.  One for the American League Championship and the largest for the Series Championship.

But I am really glad to be able to go back to my normal schedule.  For two months I've had to leave early 2-3x/week to take him to practise or a game.  Then I'd have to work weekends to catch-up.  Some parts of my job I can't take home because the work resides on the office servers and when I can, the cubbies will not let me work.  They all want to sit in my lap and see what I'm doing and play with my computer, or ask for a drink, etc., etc. etc.  Luckily the next few weeks I can take some of the work home so I might just lock myself in the bedroom.  I did half of one of our biggest jobs sitting at the kitchen table but since then the cubs changed and now have to see everything I do and ask "why?".  (The middle cub is going to be a good engineer!)  If I had a home with a study/work room/library it might have been okay.  I guess I'll look for that in my next home and I am looking now.

The "T-ball Champions" Bear Family