Should i keep in touch with him?

[krystallos]

Hello!everyone,

I need your advice~
I've met a man a few months ago,we wrote email to each other every day,and we had planned to met in person later.but after i took a vacation and left computer for a half month,i found that he turned his profile off.of course i had asked the reason,he didn't answer definitely,just said that one of the reason is he is too busy lately.
Now we still keep writing email each day,but i found that he always couldn't write to me on every Saturday.
I don't want to be the second choice.when you write to someone each day,you must have been put your emotion in,i don't want see that someday he come to tell me "Hi,i fall in love with someone,i can't write to you any more".
I need some advice from man,should i keep in touch with him?
Thank you in advance!
BTW,i'm in China,he is in US.

krystallos

[krystallos]

I got a personal messages,but seem i couldn't answer.it showed that "you are not allowed to send personal messages".
Anyway,thank you very much for the message.
No,he doesn't have kids.you are right,there's no commitment.but i think if he is seeing another one,then i wouldn't write to him anymore,i don't want to be the second choice.

[Ray]

It sounds like you are wasting your time with this guy. Drop him.

The Personal Message feature is usally activated after you make several posts.

Jeff, Catz, or Dan: can you turn on her PM authorization?

[catz]

It sounds like you are wasting your time with this guy. Drop him.

The Personal Message feature is usally activated after you make several posts.

Jeff, Catz, or Dan: can you turn on her PM authorization?

Everything looks fine as far as I can tell. I just sent a test message to her with a request for her to respond.

Catz

[krystallos]

Thank you Ray!

Thank you Catz! i got the test message,it still showed:An Error Has Occurred!
You are not allowed to send personal messages. 

No problem,i'm not urgent need to send personal messages.i can wait later after i make several posts:-) anyway,thank you very much.

[doombug]

of course i had asked the reason, he didn't answer definitely, just said that one of the reason is he is too busy lately.

I need some advice from man,should i keep in touch with him?

krystallos

He's busy, alright, bustin' a move on some other woman. Write him back one last time and tell him that you met someone more interesting and handsome than he, and include this photo of your new beau:



P.S. Stick around. We need more female posters here. You know--yin and yang?

[catz]

The admin screen is hung on me right now. Just make a couple more posts and it should work after you go from Probie to New Member. Think it is 5 or 6 posts so your almost there already.

Catz

P. S. Welcome to the board! Always good to have a woman's perspective here!

[Dan]

It sounds like you are wasting your time with this guy. Drop him.

The Personal Message feature is usally activated after you make several posts.

Jeff, Catz, or Dan: can you turn on her PM authorization?

Ray,

We have a 5-post minimum to send PM's. It is communicated in the Welcome PM each new member receives, and is there to reduce the PM spam. Unfortunately, as in this case, it also intercepts some decent new members till they cross the 5-post barrier.

- Dan

[krystallos]

He's busy, alright,bustin' a move on some other woman. Write him back one last time and tell him that you met someone more interesting and handsome than he, and include this photo of your new beau:
P.S. Stick around. We need more female posters here. You know--yin and yang?

Hi,doombug,

Why the one of my new beau looks like Ben Laden?
 

[doombug]

It's a photo of John Walker Lindh--the infamous American Taliban.

Anyhow, it was just a joke. I think this boyfriend (except-on-Saturdays) of yours would be really baffled if you sent him it.

I'm curious: How did you even find this site??? I can't imagine many Chinese women come across Planet-Love in their daily Net surfing--especially considering the breadth of Internet censorship in China.

[krystallos]

I'm curious: How did you even find this site??? I can't imagine many Chinese women come across Planet-Love in their daily Net surfing--especially considering the breadth of Internet censorship in China.

I guess this site must could be get across in China,since this site is not pornographic or relate to polity.
How did i find this site...i don't remember where i saw the word "bought foreign bride",i was curious about how could people make the human trafficking in public but didn't be arrest.
Well,when i read some topics on this forum i knew what is it.though someone racialist be there,but most of people are sincere looking for happiness of life just like most of other people in the world.and from your talking,i got to know more about western man.because of man and woman came from different planets,superadd in the event they are from different culture,speak different language,that's really a headache.prejudice being all over the world,so i always happy to see the different perspective,for myself that i want to be a unprejudiced person.
You are right,i don't think decent Chinese woman would come to this site,because the word and those photos,i mean that scared woman away at first view.me too,i have to be careful don't let other people know that i came here,otherwise i need to spend many time to explain that i'm not a bad woman.

[Jeff S]

Well, we're happy you're here. It's always great to get the opinions of a woman, especially an Asian woman. No one here thinks you're a bad girl. 

- Jeff

[sean126]

Krystallos,

Some people are very excited at first about meeting someone from a foreign country and then when a few months go by they lose that excitement and interest.  That could be the situation here.  It's nothing personal against you.  He may have just lost interest in going to a different country.

Also, I realize that you put your emotions into your words when you've been writing for so long, but that is a bad idea.  You should keep it friendly until you meet someone in person.  That way, if they never come to meet you, then you don't get your feelings hurt as much.  Never fall in love over the internet until after you've met face to face. 

I would be very suspicious of men who promise and promise and promise to come and visit you, but never do.  If something is always changing their plans to come, then I would meet someone else.

Honestly, I would not believe too much of what a man tells you until he comes to China to visit you. I would take everything they tell you as a joke....until you see him standing in front of you.

You could keep writing him if you wanted to, but I would not put my heart into it right now.  Your not second choice, your actually "no choice" at the moment because he hasn't even met you in person yet.  Just think of him as just a friend from America right now.....no matter what he tells you, just think of him as a friend.

[jm21-2]

A girl from Taiwan PM'd me from this site quite a while back and we've kept in touch, so I guess it's not TOO uncommon for a foreign girl to end up on this site. She said she was curious if western men went to less-developed foreign countries to meet women like Taiwanese men did.

The graphics on this site make me nervous about people seeing me on it (I don't ever check here except from my home PC when no one's visiting)...no comment on how it must be for women.

If he's been talking with you romantically for a long time and hasn't visited, he either can't (due to lack of money or vacation time) or he probably won't. If he took his photo down, it's likely he just had a fantasy about meeting a foreign girl then decided it was impractical or talked himself out of it.

[Humabdos]

That's is very good advice not only for Krystallos but for anyone looking for a foreign bride.
Take Sean's advice and save yourself a lot of heartake.
humabdos

[Jeff S]

I'd agree with some other posters that the cheesecake can get pretty heavy here, and it may put off a lot of potential posters. Come on - underwear models? Is that the image we really wish to convey to the world?

[doombug]

I'd agree with some other posters that the cheesecake can get pretty heavy here, and it may put off a lot of potential posters. Come on - underwear models? Is that the image we really wish to convey to the world?

Come to think of it, I should clean up my own image as well. My role as the site's sole male stripper seems to be backfiring. Besides, ever since Felicity left us, the tips have been drying up.

[I wonder if the Chinese government would declare me an afront to Mao ethos if my sexyness were plastered on the billboards of downtown Beijing...]

[krystallos]

You could keep writing him if you wanted to, but I would not put my heart into it right now.  Your not second choice, your actually "no choice" at the moment because he hasn't even met you in person yet.  Just think of him as just a friend from America right now.....no matter what he tells you, just think of him as a friend.

Thank you,Sean!
You reminded me the correct attitude what a mature person should to be.
Actually we planned meet in a third locality,neither in China nor in US.we both agree that's better for the first meet.when i according to your advice that think of him as just a friend,i find he did nothing wrong,what he did just as a mature man should to.
I'll keep writing him just like friend since we both enjoy it,until he get through the busy time.the problem is there are still some younger and better looking guys come to me,but i'm lazy to answer or meet them...am i too silly?i think i'm not urgent to find someone,i can wait until i meet him.

[krystallos]

If he took his photo down, it's likely he just had a fantasy about meeting a foreign girl then decided it was impractical or talked himself out of it.

Hi jm21-2,
Is it not likely he has been found someone special lives near him?why?

[Jeff S]

I'd say it is likely a sign he's found someone he's focusing on right now - near or far.

[william3rd]

Are you currently on a website?

Him freeing up Saturday nights is a sign he is going out somewhere although the issue of who is not answered.

[jm21-2]

Hi jm21-2,
Is it not likely he has been found someone special lives near him?why?

Anything's possible. I don't know him so I can't say...sorry :/

[katik]

Ray,

We have a 5-post minimum to send PM's. It is communicated in the Welcome PM each new member receives, and is there to reduce the PM spam. Unfortunately, as in this case, it also intercepts some decent new members till they cross the 5-post barrier.

- Dan

Now I understand the problem. I want to send private messages please turn on for me.

[piglett]

there are still some younger and better looking guys come to me,but i'm lazy to answer or meet them...am i too silly?i think i'm not urgent to find someone,i can wait until i meet him.

welcome to the site krystallos
I see nothing wrong with you chatting with other people, I would bet that he is.
the 2 of you have never met so it's not like your cheating on him.
If this guy is for real then he WILL come see you.
Chances are that he will not come to see you by the sound of things but i could be wrong.

good luck in your search
piglett

[Jeff_2]

I'll keep writing him just like friend since we both enjoy it,until he get through the busy time.the problem is there are still some younger and better looking guys come to me,but i'm lazy to answer or meet them...am i too silly?i think i'm not urgent to find someone,i can wait until i meet him.

Welcome to the board, kyrstallos.   I don't think that it sounds like the original guy is as interested as he seemed before.  Maybe the reality of what it means to meet someone from a different country occurred to him, maybe he met someone else; odds are that you will never know.  As to the others, maybe there is nothing about them that really interests you?  It is wise to not invest too much until you actually meet.

Good luck;
Jeff