I did everything wrong,made mistakes i now i want to help anyone who will liste

[singlefather no more]

I married a Colombian and she is now with me in Canada , well Mexico right now. you should read my other posts, you might learn something new.

You have posted here 8 times over 1 year .. You should read some of Ray’s 420 + posts and you will learn something. Read other senior posters posts also.

You came into and left a young girls life, your daughters as well could be effected from your actions. Think with your head and heart, not your pecker.

Ray did not leave this little girls life. Her Mother took her on a plane back to Colombia without a green card or travel docs so that the mother could have fun and party .. Ray wanted them to stay in the USA .

Ray is one of the men that thinks with his heart and head and not his pecker. He is one of those guys you would not have a problem dating your sister or if you were a older guy your daughter.

I know Ray personally in real life and he is my best friend.

I have seen in person how he treated his wife and her daughter , he treated the little girl like his own flesh and blood. No Father has loved and done so much for a daughter he loved and she was taken away from Ray. That has been real hard on him.

He spent days packing up 7 + huge boxes and getting them couriered to Colombia at a cost of over a 1000 dollars so the little girl could have all her toys and treasures.

He treated his wife very well and loved her with all his heart. He tried to help her in every way get used to the USA and be a Mother.

I have never seen a guy so compassionate and with a bigger heart then Ray.. The lady that meets him in the future and becomes his wife is one lucky woman..

Ray is one of the best guys I have known in my life and your thoughts are way off base.

It is hard to see a best friend in pain and hurt and not be able to do much about it.. I am sure God will help him find a new and wonderful wife in the future .

Here is a guy that stood and posted that he made mistakes and did not leave or run away from the Board.

Ray’s daughters are adults and fully support their father. Don’t worry about them.

In the future I would read more on the board before you make sweeping statements castigating a guy and berating him how he left a little girls life.

In closing canadianguy with a small c , I wish you luck and I am happy your marriage is going well.


singlefather no more

Note: We have 2 Canadianguy posters.. Canadianguy from Alberta with a Big C is not this poster.


.

[raycjs]

SF no more and all of the others

I want to thank you all for what you have all said and done. I wrote this post to help myself and others and i was prepared to take what i had coming to me for make mistakes. In life we learn to make mistakes and learn from them and that is what i am going to do. Everyone on this board except for one person told me what i did wrong or wright and that is fine. But please if you do not know me and you have not read all that i have writen in the past on how i felt about that little girl or for that matter my own 2 girls. I am the last person on this earth that would put my self first before my daughters and Juliana. To this day i still feel very upset inside that i can no longer be there for that little girl(but i know god has her back) So if you want to say something about me please do but before you do please know who you are taking to and about. To many people in this world speak before they think. My father tough me one thing in life that i will never forget and i live my life by it every day. BECAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY AND WHAT YOU DO BECAUSE YOU MAY MEET THE SAME PEOPLE ON THE WAY UP AND YOU DO ON THE WAY DOWN. There is also one other thing you need to know that i live and die by (paying it forward) this may be a good or bad thing but so far for me it's been good.


Once again i want to thank each and everyone of you that has now become a good friend and has offered to help me with by future endeavourer.

PS.. SF No More thanks for all the good words and i know you where not the only one that wanted to speak up on this matter. But please keep in mind i did not write this to start a childish pissing match. so let it end and move forward.



Thank You Very Much

Ray

[Pivery]

  Canadianguy,

I don't know if you actually read all of the past of Ray, but I think that you are portraying him as some 14 year old kid with a hard-on and no brain at all. I too know Ray and I can say that you are completely way off base here.

It's nice that you have a Colombiana in your life and many on the forum have one as well. Some are still looking and some have found one and for whatever reason things didn't work out. One of the most honest men on this forum comes forward with this story that I'm not even sure I would have posted here if it happened to me and you trash the guy. I too am happy with a beautiful Colombiana, but I am not so far away from what happened to Ray that I feel I need to look down on him. This is why people don't post such personal a situation as this. People that obviously do not know what they are talking about giving opinions. He should be commended for coming forward and you should have a little more class.

Pivery

[sabound]

mister canadian guy  .... just read your post . And yes it was quite entertaining !!!!

especially this part " We chatted online for over 2 months before I went down there and I knew within 5 minutes she was the one "  I am curious , exactly how many trips did you make before you met the " ONE"

do you actually think " over 2 months" is a long time ?  I believe you will have a lot to learn about latin women.

I do have a question though ? you said you had this list and your wife fit your list perfect . How about her ? did she have a list and you fit her list to the TEE ?  you had said you wanted a nice butt , did she say she wanted a beer gut ?

i do wish you the best but I think we will hear more about this relationship if you so desire to keep posting .

[Kiltboy1]

Hell

If canadian guy would let me live in Cancun 6 months of the year, I might marry him too !
Get Real Bro, you really do not know what you are talking about in regards to Ray and I expect you will be in for a real eyeopener one day as well.

[SocialDreg]

Why are the cheerleaders so upset with Canadianguy?

There are going to be problems when a 47 year old is chasing 20 somethings, when he doesn't speak Spanish and is relying on friends to screen women for him.  That is a recipe for disaster.  I did the same thing. 

I have lived in Colombia several years and have seen a lot of marriages go  bust.  The very few that have lasted were ones where the guys married his wife within a month. Go figure. 

I think a lot of guys here will be in for "real eyeopeners one day"

My advice is to marry a plain looking woman here with a bunch of kids if you want it to last.

[Bob_S]

Why are the cheerleaders so upset with Canadianguy?

I think because, while CG's advice is sound generally (don't confuse love with lust), we don't know the intimate details of Ray's case specifically (nor are we entitled to it), so we cant' say how much if any applies.  He may be getting pounded on for the wrong thing.

I give Ray kudos for having the courage to come here and post his story.  Back in the day, when things went south for a guy (in a bad way, going south in another way is the goal for you guys!  ), he generally slinked off and dropped off the face of this little Planet board.  Those that hung around fell into two flame war camps: the guy is a loser idiot because all foreign women are as pure as the driven snow; the guy is a victim of a ho-scammer and all women of (_insert_country_here_) are deceitful trollops.  By now, enough of us have crashed and burned to know that the truth is far more complex.  From what he's written, I'd bet Ray is introspective enough to know where he went wrong.  And after he's recovered enough emotionally and financially, he'll have a better chance of finding a good match should he chose this path again.

[canadianguy]

I did read all 4 pages of what happen to Ray, it sounds like you guys didn't because he does give little hints that this is somewhat her fault and there was a few posts that blamed her too.

I wasn't judgmental of Ray and feel bad for him.

You people are the ones that are judgmental , you judged me! and didn't bother to read any of my posts, if you did you wouldn't come to
such a harsh judgment about me or my wife.  We are happy, and we did know right away when we met that we were meant to be together. I have gotten a lot of replies from people thanking me for detailed trip reports and for giving them hope. I didn't need to marry 2 or 3 Colombians (like some of you )to realize she was the one or have 400 posts at planet love to realize it either. Sorry you are jealous of our success.

All you guys except for one wish hell in my life and suggest my marriage is doomed. What the hell is wrong with you people!

Ray, messed up. He knew deep down that this girl was trouble, his friends said so as well , and I said I
been in his shoes before and if he didn't marry at 16 he would have gained experience, what is wrong with that! I'm sure he's successful in his career and a a great guy, I never said he wasn't.

I think  that the only one to blame is Ray. I feel that Ray doesn't believe this 100%  and obviously you guys along with Ray want to blame the girl  a little bit for what happened, but I believe (along with  sociologist,look it up if you don't believe me ) that the only one to blame is yourself.  It's fine and normal for people to live like this and most of society does but it will always ends badly.


quote from Ray's first post " after a few months of us being together here in the states on an everyday
bases i realized that she was not the one and i had made a major mistake and we both decided it
would be better for her and her daughter to go back to Colombia and that is what she did on
Feb 3 2009."  .....so , whoever said the women left Ray and went back to Colombia, this is not what Ray said to us, so if he wanted them to stay but says they decided to split up in his original post well than I got nothing to say about that but don't blame me for not reading properly.


Ray wants to date again this summer, I said no, that's too soon. what is wrong with saying that!



my wife read the entire thread and is quite sad for me , she knows I came here to help people. Not once did I shame him , not once did I brag about my life or wife . I said my sad stories too and feel for him because I been in his shoes. 

[william3rd]

I did read all 4 pages of what happen to Ray, it sounds like you guys didn't because he does give little hints that this is somewhat her fault and there was a few posts that blamed her too.

I wasn't judgmental of Ray and feel bad for him.

You people are the ones that are judgmental , you judged me! and didn't bother to read any of my posts, if you did you wouldn't come to
such a harsh judgment about me or my wife.  We are happy, and we did know right away when we met that we were meant to be together. I have gotten a lot of replies from people thanking me for detailed trip reports and for giving them hope. I didn't need to marry 2 or 3 Colombians (like some of you )to realize she was the one or have 400 posts at planet love to realize it either. Sorry you are jealous of our success.

All you guys except for one wish hell in my life and suggest my marriage is doomed. What the hell is wrong with you people!

Ray, messed up. He knew deep down that this girl was trouble, his friends said so as well , and I said I
been in his shoes before and if he didn't marry at 16 he would have gained experience, what is wrong with that! I'm sure he's successful in his career and a a great guy, I never said he wasn't.

I think  that the only one to blame is Ray. I feel that Ray doesn't believe this 100%  and obviously you guys along with Ray want to blame the girl  a little bit for what happened, but I believe (along with  sociologist,look it up if you don't believe me ) that the only one to blame is yourself.  It's fine and normal for people to live like this and most of society does but it will always ends badly.


quote from Ray's first post " after a few months of us being together here in the states on an everyday
bases i realized that she was not the one and i had made a major mistake and we both decided it
would be better for her and her daughter to go back to Colombia and that is what she did on
Feb 3 2009."  .....so , whoever said the women left Ray and went back to Colombia, this is not what Ray said to us, so if he wanted them to stay but says they decided to split up in his original post well than I got nothing to say about that but don't blame me for not reading properly.


Ray wants to date again this summer, I said no, that's too soon. what is wrong with saying that!



my wife read the entire thread and is quite sad for me , she knows I came here to help people. Not once did I shame him , not once did I brag about my life or wife . I said my sad stories too and feel for him because I been in his shoes. 

So I guess this means farewell, right? Its been nice knowing you and all. Stiff upper lip and all. Parting is such sweet sorrow. . . .

[Pivery]

  Canadianguy,

Alot of guys here haven't found Mrs. Right. Some have. It's really wonderful that you did and I hope that you have a long and happy marriage. However, for the guys that had or having some problems, we as the guys on the forum need to come together and try to see if we can actually help people who have stumbled. I was married for almost 15 years to my first wife. Some guys I know their marriage only lasted a year. I didn't trash the guy just because his marriage didn't work out. Things happen and we (including you) need to be supportive and not judgemental.

Nobody is judging you, only your actions/words. They are hurtful and unnecessary. Do you not think that Ray is now and has been beating himself up over this without you having to add to it?

If he or anyone else here has enough courage to post their problems, and if you do not know the person personally which you obviously do not, at least have the decency of not posting such hurtful remarks. I realize that you think you have some idea of what happened to him. I can assure you that you indeed do not know the entire story.

Although I realize that you don't think you did, you made a bad situation worse and if you were in his shoes and some guy that came across as insensitive to your situation said the same things, I'm sure then you would understand.   

Nobody is jealous of you or your lady. I have a lady that kisses the ground I walk on, but I don't need to make sure that everyone knows this. Something may happen to anyone's relationship here, including mine and yes yours. The future is unknown and I would hope that the guys would rally around me if something happened to my relationship.
And I hope that they would do the same for you if God forbid something goes wrong. A little kindness and understanding is what's needed here. We're past the high school stuff now. He made a mistake and he isn't the only guy here who did and won't be the last.

Nobody's relationship is guaranteed. 

Pivery

[raycjs]

CG  i dated the same women i married at the age of 21 and i did not marry her until i was 21 so we dated for 5 years then we married .i was married for 22 years for a total of 27 years with the same women. so please Not not tell me about life.... i have 2 outstanding daughters that are by my side Thur thick or thin.

As for as Lina and her daughter i did not want to see them leave i wanted her to stay a few more months and try to work this out... Her mind was made up that is was best for her and her daughter to go home. and she did.

As far as my life i am doing great and i will move on but i will always be here on this board to help anyone i can and that is why i wrote my story .....

i do not want sympathy nor am i asking for it.

I have made many friends on this board in the us and Colombia and then ones they really know me are the ones that are taking a stand on my behalf. I would ask all of you to please move forward and do not turn this into a pissing match. we all make mistakes and we all saything we may not mean to say.

So once again i want to thank all of you for all the help you have given me in the past and present.


CG i wish you and your wife nothing but the best and i hope you can come on this board 10 years from now and tell us all to wish you a happy 10 year anniversary. with many more years to come.


Thank you all

Ray

[katik]

it is ok ray you can call me or write to my e mail but i can not give you my cell phone number here you know it is a social page and every body can see it, i dont know why but this system do not permit me to send private messages, so you send me one with you email address and i will write you and tell you my cell number by my personal email, i hope you write soon

bye take care..

caty

[singlefather no more]

katik,

You have to make 5 posts here before you can send a PM.

I am curious on how did you find this website ?

Welcome to the board.

singlefather no more

..

[canadianguy]

thanks Ray, and my wife and I wish you the best.

[raycjs]

CG

You are welcome and i am very sincere when i wish you and your wife the best....




Ray

[lite sweet dude]

[quote author=katik
   or in another activities.

I always look forward to those!!