As a newbie, I asked the question 1000 times ... in 1000 ways. How can young women - fairly and honestly - be attracted physically and romantically to a much older man. It did not seem right. It seemed like a fantasy. I was a normal American man. In the beginning, I did not have a Passport.
I have experienced much since those days. In the last year, I have spent the greater part of time OUTSIDE the USA.
First, it is not uncommon for beautiful and young women in other countries to be with older and less attractive men in other countries. Do not put so much stock in the fact that an American citizenship grants you unlimited powers. In fact be worried about it! Unbalanced interest (rather than normal curiosity) is a red flag for a person finding a target. Living in the USA ... well, that is really not the "real world". It is the Disney Land of humanity. Much of the contemporary social norms are a construct of the advertising machine, not reality of nature or genealogically evolution.
In the interests of full disclosure I will be 45 next month. Over the past 2 years, I probably dropped 5 - 10 years in appearance and more in behavior. I have not TRIED to meet a wife. I have tried to be comfortable being single, while being "open" to meeting a special person. I have met TONS and TONS of pretty girls .... TONs of party girls. I become very good at being single again. The oldest woman I dated since my divorce was 32. Most women were between 24 - 27. Lately, most women were between 20 - 22. Oh, there has been some 18 and 19 year olds along the way too.
I thought that for real consideration, the women HAD to be 26 - 30 - preferably 28.
That is before I lived 4 months continually in other counties. That is before I became friends with a 24 year old - very very very very beautiful model - who confided in my with tears her worries that she was now too old for marriage. That was before I saw the world from a different perspective. THIS CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE is the only way an American man can understand.
Be careful, however. There is an implicit break, or defeat, in some women who "accept" (even "happily accept") that which they would not have "preferred." MONEY is more meaningful for those who have none than it is possible for most of us to understand. It is life and death in slow motion. Don't even try to offer an opinion until you have gotten so close that you too are in danger. Only then will you have a slight understanding of the value of that you take for granted. Only then can you understand many things having to do with compromise and hope.
Anything is possible if you are a STRONG, DELIBERATE, and GOOD man. BUT, you also can not be naive - you must be the opposite ... maybe even harsh. I say this having witnessed successful and failed meetings between Americans and foreign women. If an American man is considering marrying a non American woman, a non American perspective is a vital FIRST step. Anything else is directions by accident.
I realized several months ago, that the AGE GAP question and the LEAGUE question melts away when you limit your dating pool to women WITH CHOICES.
I go out often by myself. I am with everyone. I am with no one. I have not really cared much for slowing down for any women, regardless of her appearance. God made many beautiful women.
Ironically, after I got over the preoccupations of AGE GAPS totally, I began to have fun younger and younger girls. But that was only fun.
I am now in a relationship with a 21 year old. She is more beautiful on the inside than the outside - and I do not deserve her outer beauty. She is intelligent and funny and open minded. I will not go on and on. I offer this truth as fact. I would never have looked for her. She was too young! I KNOW things now than I did not before. I see that most of the world LIVES IN THE MOMENT. That solves most questions.
I decided to treat the issue like a shot of tequila. We will see where it goes.
Hope this rambling helps those that may be as confused as I used to be.
