What to do?

[macky]

Ok met a girl online. been chating for a while now. Never asked for any money. She had a fire in her house today burned kitchen. Saw what look like burn marks on her leg. Still no request for money. Am I a monster is I don't send?

[Jonnie]

Not to sound cold, you're not her savior, she'll make it without you.  I've been there myself.

Jonnie

[Humabdos]

Ok met a girl online. been chating for a while now. Never asked for any money. She had a fire in her house today burned kitchen. Saw what look like burn marks on her leg. Still no request for money. Am I a monster is I don't send?

Keep chatting.
Tell her not to put butter on it.
Wait and see...
Maybe she can't cook :lol:  
Better her house than yours!
Instruct her on fire safety.
Hum

[Ray]

Am I a monster [if] I don't send?

Of course you're not a monster, unless you used voodoo to start that fire.

It's NOT your problem! You can send a donation if it will make you sleep better at night, but once money enters the equation, I would forget about any deeper relationship with this one becasue you will now be regarded as a money tree.

If you are going to send anything, don't go cheap. Build her a new house.

Ray

[Jeff S]

That she didn't ask should tell you something about her character.

- Jeff

[Humabdos]

That she didn't ask should tell you something about her character.

- Jeff

That's right she may be a clever one. Could be a test to weed out the cheep guy right away! All that Internet time gets expensive. :lol:
Hum

[Ray]

...she may be a clever one. Could be a test to weed out the cheep guy right away!

You could be right Hum. That's just another way of asking for money over there...just mention all of your "problems" and wait for the guy to volunteer to help.

It's actually quite an effective technique between Filipinos and some of my ex's realtives were experts at it. By mentioning your financially-related problems, it is understood that you are asking for money, without actually coming right out and asking.

When the girls keep casually mentioning their problems, there is always a doubt in your mind whether she is really a devil or an angel...

[Montrealer]

Can anyone say "paranoid"?

She's guilty if she asks for money, and she's guilty if she doesn't ask for money.  Wow, I guess she should be hung out on the street for a public lynching.

Here's something to think about.  Sometimes [snip] happens.  Not every aspect of a womans life is going to be rosey.  Sometimes, the girls life is not perfect.

We all know that a majority of women who are seeking spouses in the US, do come from not the best economic background, so why is it such a surprise that there hardships come up in normal conversation.  The concept of getting to know eachother, is exactly that, a chance to get to know eachother, both the good and bad.

Let's say this woman is telling the truth about having a fire.  Should she have not said anything about it?

If we were to flip this situation around, and let's say the guy had just gotten a promotion and a raise at his job and then told her about it, would it be fair if she thought that he was just trying to show off his finances and looking to buy a wife?  What if she was looking for real love and felt that she was being bought?

The bottom line is, yes there are alot of bad women out there that will use alot of tricks to use someone in a better position than them.  However, I'm sure there are more women out there that will not try to use someone.

Fact is, she didn't ask for money.  And until she does, she hasn't done anything wrong.  And the guy is under no obligation to offer any money, especially since they have only been chatting and are not in any type of relationship where money should come into play.

So, continue talking to her.  Continue learning about her.  Alot of these women from weaker economic backgrounds are very resiliant and have survived many years without our help, and they will continue to do so.

I'll repeat, she didn't ask for money, and you not in a relationship with her, so you are not responsible for her.

[Ray]

Can anyone say “naïve”?

Monty, since you apparently don’t have any experience with Filipinas in chat rooms, I’ll just consider your comments uninformed. Yes, it may be an old trick. No, she didn’t come right out and ask for money, but since the guy is already questioning whether or not he is a monster for not sending her money, perhaps her “plan”(?) is working.

He would be wise to be very careful. If more “problems” surface, then he should be wary of her motives. Again, when money enters into an on-line relationship, the whole thing becomes convoluted, so that’s why I advised against pursuing a deeper relationship if he does send her money.

Ray

[macky]

Yes I will have say that paranoid us a good word at least concerning this lady. We have chated every day since the fire and she has not asked for money. She has told me what she is doing to handle the the problem at that is all. She is only talk to me about how much she like me and wonders when i might be able to make it over there. I really like her seems very resourcefull.

[Montrealer]

I love it when I'm right.  

[flipflop]

So far

[Jonnie]

How is she affording a heavy chat schedule?

Jonnie