I am taking the plunge and jumping on the plane

[dennislevy]

Single Father:

I think you're absolutely right, don't put all your eggs in one basket with just the trip to see the cybergirl from Peru. I don't know much about Peru, I did check out two of the agencies in Lima and IMHO (and we all know what an opinion is worth), there just weren't that many women members.  I know some guys of the guys on the board absolutely loved Peruvian women, but unless she lived in Lima and there was other stuff to do, I would think twice about going only to Peru. I told you and Rocky my story about flying to St. Petersburg, Russia to see one woman and it was damned close to perfect, but the odds of hitting the jackpot and visiting a cyber relationship that is everything you want are pretty slim..I know that I was incredibly lucky.

Why don't you get on www.sidestep.com and start plugging in fights and dates find out prices. 

One thought is register with a Bogota agency and stay at the agency say 3 days into the trip.  But stay at a less expensive place the first three days, (like the nice place that Rocky knows) fly the Peru lady into Bogota (flying her into Baranquilla would be cheesy!) and cover the hotel and all the meals, taxis, etc. for the first 3 days.  Make it clear that she has her own room, etc. etc. and make her an exclusive for those days. If she thinks three days is too few, or you need to upgrade the two of you to a 5 star hotel, or has other ideas about what she means to you, then you get to hash it out up front and maybe you save time and money.  I gather that she has been a big emotional support to you since you became a widower, so if you go to SA, maybe you owe her some of your time, but that's up to you. 

We all talk about finding the "right woman", but I think we all agree that the "physical chemistry" has to be there.  And If there is real chemistry between you , then you can fly to Peru or meet her again in Bogota.  If no chemistry, you have a Spanish speaking guide and a pleasant dining companion for a couple of three days, put her in a cab to the airport, kiss her on the cheek, pay the cab, you were a gentleman and you're done.  And then you move to the agency and start working on the schedule that the agency has for you.     

Dennis

[michaelb]

Go to Peru. This BS about flying her to Bogota is exactly that, BS. If you two don't hit it off in person, oh well, then you can go to what ever agency in which ever city (or country) you chose. Bring some plastic $$ and I'm sure they'll accommodate you even without advance reservations. Just keep in mind that you will have to make your way back to Peru for your return flight to the US, unless you buy a three leg ticket in the first place, which you probably don't want to do because if you did hit it off right with Miss Peru, you wouldn't need to nor want to go to Colombia, now would you?. I think Dennis means well, but he hasn't thought it through.....Put yourself in the lady's position. Now, how would you like it if you got an invitation that basically says "You get 3 whole days or my precious time, but I don't want to waste any of that time seeing your country, your house, nor the circumstances you live under, and I'm  certainly not giving your friends and family so much as the time of day." I think the bitterness of that out weighs the sweetness of "I'll upgrade you to a 5 star and give you a separate room". But then, that's just my opinion, what do I know?

If you really don't want all your eggs in one basket, want to try the agency route and check out Miss Peru in person (which I think you surely should), buy that three leg ticket but do a week or so at the agency of your choice before going to Peru. Not only will that not insult the lady, you'll have some fresh 'comparatives' in your mind when you meet her, which will highlight both her positives and negatives and help you make an informed decision instead of succumbing to the "first woman who paid any attention to me in a long time" syndrome.

[singlefather no more]

Hola Guys,

Dennis,

I thank you for your ideas though if I did meet the Peru girl, I would go to her country... She is not the one that has given me lots of support. I have known this girl off and on for 3 years( within that timeframe I took a 2 year break from searching & contacting her"plus other women" to heal my heart fully) i.. If I went to see her I would meet her and her family... I feel very strongly about giving respect to any girl I am correspond with or meeting.. This is not an easy process for the girls or for us...

I hope to hit the jackpot as well..

michaelb,

Great post...

There is nothing I disagree with you from your post....

After being alone for the past 40 months , I am going to have to be very careful as in your words and to quote you( instead of succumbing to the "first woman who paid any attention to me in a long time" syndrome).

I am going to be very careful and of course want to find a beautiful new wife.. The most important things for me though is that she have inner beauty , be educated , love kids , and to accept & come to love my kids and have good moral values as she will have a major impact on my 11 year old daughter and 8 yr old son..

singlefather

[dennislevy]

My apologies, singlefather, and yup. Mchaelb, you were right, I didn't think it through. And no matter what happens, to respect a latina is important.

My question is: "Suppose a man wants to combine a trip to see a cyberlady (like singlefather) and an agency. So he goes to her country, meets her, the family etc. before his trip to an agency in that coubntry or another) What is a reasonable amount of time to spend without insulting the woman and her family, especially if he knows within a day, there is no chemistry. I would think anything less then 7 calendar days is going to hurt someone or everyone.  Is there no way aorund that or is that one of the downsides of international dating?

Dennis