How can you tell if your Columbiana being faithful ?

[clone927]

I think I have trust / being faithful issues with the Columbian girl that I have been currently communicating w/ for the last yr 1/2. Part me thinks it's paranoia from the previous girl while the other part of me thinks it's " a gut feeling. " I guess it because I found out w/ my previous Columbian girl that she was talking ( e-mail, chatting ) & seeing other guys. How did I find out, you ask ? I sent www.ilovelatins.com a thank you for the intro to the girl & a pic of us ( & I'm glad I did ) I got a reply from a guy in NJ saying that he knew her really well & he did. He knew she had 2 daughters, their names & ages. He also said he bought them $150 USD in grocreies & were "exclusive." I was tell myself WHAT F!@K ? He provided me proof by fwding me her e-mail she wrote him & Western Union receipts. I guess I could send another thank you note & pic of us to see if anyone else is "exclusive " w/ her. Are there any other ways ?

Thanks,

Frank - Hou, TX   

[william3rd]

Colombian women are like women anywhere-how DO you tell? Hire a PI? Show up a couple of days early?

[singlefather no more]

Hello clone927,

I wish you well in your quest for a special Latin love... First of all have you flown down to meet her in Colombia?

If you have not, I do not see that you have any say in who else she sees or dates. If you have been communicating with her for 1.5 years and have not got on a plane to see her then she cannot take you seriously.

Some of these ladies get hundreds of emails, some phone calls and very few visits. If this other guy has already visited her and not you then he is the more serious one.

Colombian women or you cannot put all their eggs in one basket...

If you have visited her already then disregard what I have said... Then you have a trust and communication problem with her...

I hope you have been practicing and learning Spanish........

All the best,

singlefather

[william3rd]

BTW clone- please note the way that we are spelling COLOMBIA.

[Jeff S]

Hey Frank. Try setting up a fake yahoo account with a sexy guy's picture whose about your age and tell her you just sold your Beverly Hills plastic surgery practice and have lots of free time and money, and see how she responds. That or show up early and give her the sniff test.

[sean126]

You could take Jeff S's advice and set up a fake yahoo or hotmail account, ect...and use my picture, Sir William's resume (he's a big time lawyer scum) and also send a pic of one of Jeff S's yachts that he makes and say it's the fake person's boat.  Between the 3 of us we make a hell of a man that's hard to resist.  LOLOLOLOL. 

or refer to my well thought out plan in this thread.... http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=2518.0


Seriously...unless you spent time, in person, with her...it would be kinda hard to read her.  You really haven't given us any indications of "why" or "how" with your problem.  Some specifics wouldn't hurt, if you want good advice here. 

[william3rd]

The real question is- do you have a reason to be distrustful or, is it just as you said before, you have a gut feeling due to a prior bad experience?

What is giving you these ideas about a medium term relationship?

[bcc_1_2]

have you slept with any women in the past year and a half? seriously if it really has been a year and a 1/2 im not surprised shes talking to other people. i would bet (literally would bet) she has a boyfriend she [snip]s. that probably will piss you off more than the western union deal.

i'm thinking of going to costa rica this spring. i dont get any of this "exclusive" business. if she is hot shes probably getting laid or at least has a lot of opportunties.

if you are waiting a year and a half to meet someone you must be getting busy too otherwise why not go down there and date a bunch of them instead of being pissed when you meet this girl and she is 30 pounds heavier than her pic.

[Ray]

i dont get any of this "exclusive" business.

Me too.

Unless you are married or officially engaged and the visa petition is in the works, do you really have a right to demand that she not even communicate with or meet other men?

Even if you have slept with each other, that in itself doesn't automatically make your relationship "exclusive" or give you the right to expect her to be faithful to you.

What is the nature of your relationship clone? Have you asked this young lady to marry you yet? Have you seriously discussed marriage?

[EbonyPrince]

Are there any other ways ?

Yes there are...Forget about her.  Why play those immature games to find out if she is being faithful?  Once you encounter trust issues, they will always be trust issues.  For one you should be visiting her more often if you haven't, I would suggest at least 3 or 4 times a year.  If you are exclusive, then that should have been communicated at some point between you guys.  If she is communicating with other guys, then that is somebody that you don't want to be with anyway (once again if you have had this exclusivity conversation with her in the past).

I was just having the same conversation with one of my boys yesterday.  The fattest, homliest woman from where I live can find someone to give it to her in any night spot.  So a Colombiana that looks half-way decent has the same opportunity.  Colombia is not different than here.  A lot of guys go after the hottest thing they can find, and that may not be in your best interest long term. 

So my advice is to confront her with the preconceived notion that you need to move on.   Hear what she has to say, but don't put the time and emotion into being inspector gadget.  Trust me man there are way too many fine latinas just waiting in South America that are what you expect and want.

[Diablo]

Q:How can you tell if your Columbiana being faithful ?
A: You can't. It's all about trust.

[Frank Rizzo]

That's some good advice from both EbonyPrince and Diablo. They're just women, and the sooner you begin to interact with them the way the Colombian men do, the easier it will be for you to be calm in your relationships there.

In my opinion, I'd find a few good colombian friends in Colombia that are not part of the whole gringo-marriage thing, and take some tips.

Again, in my opinion if you're not of latin blood, I'd really watch how guys down there treat the women. Eventually, this will be an issue as they want to be treated that way. The hottest women will respond positively to dominating men every time.

You don't see colombian men with money with even a hint of worry about what the women do. It's a leash that the men down there give them. If they screw around they dump them, as there is always younger and more beautiful waiting to fill their shoes. By the time a Colombiana is 30, it is reaaaaaaalll tough for her to get a date with a guy that has any money down there. Their clock is ticking and they know it.

Remember guys.. we're the prize not them !!

[EbonyPrince]

The hottest women will respond positively to dominating men every time.

Dig it!!!  Mecca you must of been listening on my conversation yesterday with my boy about American women...LOL!

They're all the same, no matter what country you visit.

[william3rd]

But- we still dont have the answer about your Columbian girlfriend being faithful.

And for some of us older guys- How can we tell when our Pre-Columbian girlfriend is being unfaithful?

[utopiacowboy]

"Again, in my opinion if you're not of latin blood, I'd really watch how guys down there treat the women. Eventually, this will be an issue as they want to be treated that way. The hottest women will respond positively to dominating men every time."

Latin blood? I know Latinos who are clueless and gringos who know exactly how it's played. Also treating a Colombiana like a typical Colombiano may be the worst thing you can do to sustain a long term relationship. I have a whole bunch of Colombian brothers-in-law who can't keep any relationship going longer than a week. I guess that's why they stick to high school girls with a short attention span.   

[JamesDonut]

Again, in my opinion if you're not of latin blood, I'd really watch how guys down there treat the women. Eventually, this will be an issue as they want to be treated that way. The hottest women will respond positively to dominating men every time.

If your definition of dominating is a guy who portrays confident and is decisive, I would agree wholeheartedly.  If you are talking about the guys that are total jerks and treat women like crap, there is a much smaller percentage of women who want that.  Usually the women that go for the latter, from my experience, bring the most baggage and problems. 

[Diablo]

Latin blood? I know Latinos who are clueless and gringos who know exactly how it's played. Also treating a Colombiana like a typical Colombiano may be the worst thing you can do to sustain a long term relationship. I have a whole bunch of Colombian brothers-in-law who can't keep any relationship going longer than a week. I guess that's why they stick to high school girls with a short attention span.   

Careful! I know that's whats agencies and other people will have you believe but my experience tells me most Colombianas want a Colombiano not a gringo. Only a small portion are looking for gringos. Colombianos know how to treat their women better than we do.

The old saying of Colombiana looking for a way of from the big bad Colombian man is exagerrated to me.

"I know Latinos who are clueless and gringos who know exactly how it's played."

Yes gringos think they know know how to play but they don't know they are actually getting played most of the time 

[utopiacowboy]

I would agree with you that most Colombianas are happy in Colombia and all things being equal they would prefer a Colombiano. Gringos have a reputation for being austere and cold and lacking the warmth and charm of Latinos. However these are generalizations and when applied to certain individuals, may be completely wrong. My wife's first husband was a rather glum guy who didn't say much and was far from being your classic Latino romantic. About me, she says that I am like a gringo Costeno which in her book, is a very good thing.

[JamesDonut]

I would agree with you that most Colombianas are happy in Colombia and all things being equal they would prefer a Colombiano. Gringos have a reputation for being austere and cold and lacking the warmth and charm of Latinos. However these are generalizations and when applied to certain individuals, may be completely wrong. My wife's first husband was a rather glum guy who didn't say much and was far from being your classic Latino romantic. About me, she says that I am like a gringo Costeno which in her book, is a very good thing.

This is probably the best post on this whole thread.  Being a gringo or latino may in some cases may be a deal breaker.  But overall its your personality and the way you portray yourself.  Instead of trying to be a certain way, be yourself and let the chips lie where they may.  Thank you for such an insightful post Utopia. 

[Xkss2002]

If your Columbiana is talking to you by webcam, it is almost a sure thing that she isn't with another man...at that moment.

No, really....the Colombianas that I have known are like women everywhere....with one possible exception. They appear to be strong-willed and self-sufficient, but once you are able to cut through that rough exterior they long to have a man who can "dominate" them and make them feel totally femenine. If you are a "gentleman" and always ask them what they would like to do that day, or what they would like for you to buy them, they will eat your lunch. Forget it!!!!!!!  It is much better to call a taxi, go where you wish to go, take them by the hand, and tenderly lead them in the direction you wish to walk. When you show them that you are their man, and they are your woman, you will not have to worry that they are seeing another man while you are away.
They are EXTREMELY loyal and devoted to a man they see as a real man who knows how to guide them gently but with confidence, make love to them until they can see the stars with their eyes closed, and speak to them with words that make their soul tremble in anticipacion of your return. This Colombiana will live in fear that you will replace her if she should feel the temptation to stray, so you will have nothing to worry about. But if you are like 85% of the girly-men in the States, then better to save yourself some grief and stay home.

[JamesDonut]

If your Columbiana is talking to you by webcam, it is almost a sure thing that she isn't with another man...at that moment.

No, really....the Colombianas that I have known are like women everywhere....with one possible exception. They appear to be strong-willed and self-sufficient, but once you are able to cut through that rough exterior they long to have a man who can "dominate" them and make them feel totally femenine. If you are a "gentleman" and always ask them what they would like to do that day, or what they would like for you to buy them, they will eat your lunch. Forget it!!!!!!!

That's not being a gentleman per se.  That means, as I said earlier, being assertive and confident.  After you start a real relationship however, good relationships migrate into a more give and take.  That means you talk to each other about likes and dislikes and make decisions together on a lot of things.  Believe me, you don't want a GF or wife that never expresses to you what she wants and lets you make all the decisions.