Finding a genuine girl

[creeper1]

Hi there

I am a thirty year old guy looking for a girl in SE Asia. I know there is a danger of being ripped off from a girl just using you as a ticket to a richer country and then falling for a more handsome guy or whatever.

I have already read some tips on how to avoid this. They are avoid the internet if possible and meet the girl through a local friend you have living there if you have one Second try to get a girl from the countryside who will not be exposed to the corrupting influence and annonyminity of the city.

So I just want to ask any of you guys done it the hard way. I mean just arrived over there and set about finding a girl working on a farm or whatever. It sounds a bit ridiculous but i am kind of planning to ask out a random shop worker or something if I have the courage. It seems easy on the internet but maybe it;s too easy.

SO guys please. Any of you have some good stories to share. Any good methods?

[william3rd]

Slim and none. . . . .

While allowing a friend or friend's wife to play matchmaker might be a real feel-good story, there is no telling what the future holds under this method. It is still as good as any.

Technology has arrived in even the most remote jungles. When you bring the girl out of the jungle, where do you take her then?  The city. And, unless you keep her locked in a closet, she will adapt. . . .

You need fluent language skills to make the chance communication work-both in her language and in her dialect. You need a woman who thinks that hairy stinky albino foreigners are her cup of tea.

And what are you two going to talk about? How well-kept her buffalo is? Some tribes have astrology requirements much deeper than "whats your sign, baby?"

Too much trouble for the doubtful possibility of finding whatever it is you find when you go hunting in the bush for things that are a lot more doable closer to home.

[Bear]

Wow!, you have my respect dude.  If your there I wonder what why you haven't noticed all the girls are checking you out?  Haven't you notice how easy it is to start a conversation with one and I mean anyone?  Don't assume all are bad because of the bad ones who use the internet or that they live in the city - I met my wife through the internet and did it my just asking a lot of questions.  Just go to the places you would if you were at home and when you see a pretty girl start talking to her.

Meet more than one.  Take lots of pictures of the two of you.

Don2222 did the same thing. Saw her working in a ShoeMart (I think) and swept the girl of his dreams off her feet just to find out that an America spending money sweeping a girl off her feet is actually just a guy buying a girl.  Doesn't work.  Be true to yourself and you'll do okay.

The Bear Family

[Jeff S]

Welcome creeper to our little corner of the internet.

Just out of curiosity, why would you want a country bumpkin working on a farm? As William suggested, you probably have so little in-common with her. I understand the fantasy, but in reality, she's going to be more of a dependent than a life partner.

I traveled to Asia and dated quite a bit before the Internet, but the girls I ended up with were mostly not the marrying kind. You're going to face issues you haven't yet dreamed of. Go watch the movie Good Morning Vietnam. OK, it was a comedy, but based on a true story. See what hoops he had to go through to date that woman. The chances of you pulling it off in two week vacation aren't so hot.

I was introduced to my wife by friends, so disagree with William a bit. We did a survey a few years back and nearly half the married men on this board met their wives this way. Nearly everyone's wife here has a sister or cousin they'd like to help find a nice guy like they did. You'll find the same in your local Vietnamese, Thai or Filipino communities in your home town, once they size you up and figure you aren't a pervert or serial killer. Just recently I had a Thai waitress and college student in a restaurant I frequent here in Southern California who I got chatting with, try to get me interested in her sister back home. She was disappointed when I told her I was married. She was astounded at my knowledge of Asian cultures, because I pegged her as being Thai instantly (It was a Korean restaurant) and knew how to say a few formalities in Thai.

The best way, though, as William pointed out, is to use the technology you have at your fingertips. You'll find plenty of interested women. The trick is to separate the wheat from the chaff. In truth, out-and-out green card whores are very rare, and there are ALWAYS  lots, and lots and lots and lots of red flags along the way that the johns simply ignore and let the fantasy persist. The truth is that there are plenty of guys who represent themselves as one thing, and end up being something entirely different when the girl arrives. Then when everything falls apart, they scream "scammer!"

Be honest, be yourself, take your time and keep your eyes open and you'll be fine. Start by reading all of the archives. You'll find plenty of the good, bad and ugly. Plenty of guys here have done it and so can you.

- Jeff

[Ray]

Hi creep, welcome aboard.

Don't write off city girls and don't write off the Internet. You should use all of the tools at your disposal but use them wisely.

Limiting your search to farm girls from the countryside is not practical because of communications considerations for one. There are still a lot of areas with no electricity, no telephones, and very poor mail service. You would probably go crazy trying to communicate.

I met my first Filipina wife in the Philippines and the second one I met through friends here in the States. There is no right or wrong way to do this, but keep your eyes and ears open and don’t get caught up in some fantasy. This isn’t going to be easy and it may not be for you.

I would recommend that you (1) get your passport, (2) start saving up for a trip, (3) pick a country, (4) study up on the culture, geography, language and people, (5) start corresponding with some ladies over there, and (5) take a vacation and go.

How and where you meet them is not as important as how you filter out the good from the bad. Just use your head.

Ray