Confession....

[wsfan#1]

....I appreciate the advice that was given by both FT and Sean on the reputable sites.  I have been doing a lot of thinking about the decision to go this route, and it stems from a relationship I have had over the past four years with a Mexican woman here in the United States.  I was drawn to this woman immediately in a nightclub while on a date with a woman I was not interested in, and ended up blowing off my date for her that night. 

I have never had a more passionate relationship with any woman in my life.  However, I have struggled with the social consequences of her lack of education and illegal status .  She came here by herself when she was 11 years old with a coyote, and was immediately thrust into working to support herself, and could not continue school.  She now works as a housekeeper for a wealthy family in the suburbs, and drives driving without a license, car insurance, and has no health insurance.  It sounds tremendously irresponsible on the surface, but she has a very good heart, and is simply keeping her head down trying to support herself.  She is also studying for the GED, prays regularly, and exercises religiously (has run the marathon, and regularly finishes in the top 5 in 5Ks).  In essence, she has great core values. 

I have read another posting about illegals in this country on this site, and it seemed to be pretty heated.  Several of my friends and coworkers have strong feelings on the matter as well.  All these social pressures, have split us up in the past.  I have gone out with several other women who I have had to tell that there was no chemistry because none of them could live up to the passion I share with her.  I always end up going back to her.  I am to the point where I want to throw caution to the wind, and am considering marrying/starting a family with her.  She is currently involved with another guy, but I know if I assert myself, I can turn the tables.  I love this girl.

Thoughts?  Pitfalls?  I am wondering why I should try to import a latin girl when I have a known commodity here who I love and trust.  Any advice on navigating the legal mess?  I know the health insurance part of the puzzle is easily solved if I marry her, but the driver's license part is a bit more difficult in today's climate.     

 

[jm21-2]

I was under the understanding that if you marry her (i assume you're a citizen), she can apply for a spousal visa from here in the states. Really, if you marry her and she becomes legal, that's one less illegal for the anti-illegal people to worry about, right?

You're [edit: _completely_mother_[snip]ing_] nuts if you're really thinking about passing up such a seemingly great opportunity because of some BS political issue.

[wsfan#1]

Yes.  I am a citizen.  I don't know if the spousal visa is a silver bullet post 9/11.  Immigration attorneys I have spoken to haven't painted quite as rosy a picture.  I have a minor in Spanish, and have been considering relocating to Mexico City (I work for a major corporation with a presence there) with her  to try to skin the cat that way.

Thanks for the words of wisdom.....

[william3rd]

Advice- marry her and start the process. She cant AOS here under current regs but that may change in the future.

Hire an immigration attorney instead of sitting here thinking about it.

When the time comes for a waiver at the consulate in Juarez, they will either grant and she comes over or deny, invoking the bar,  and then you can relocate.

When I say hire an immigration attorney, look for one in your local area. Say, within a 100 mile radius of you.

[sean126]

I understand about the passion you have for her.  I was in the same boat, but the girl I went nuts over had a boyfriend and that's how I ended up in colombia.  First and foremost make sure it is sincere, true love.  Sometimes passion for someone can blur that line pretty good.  Consider how long she's been with her boyfriend.  If it's quite a while and she could be easily swayed by you....then that means that she is not really his, but she's staying with him anyway.  When you have a big fight, this will creep into the back of your mind.  You'll wonder if she will be easily swayed when times are rough between you two.  Whether she can or can't won't matter to an imagination running wild.  What I'm saying is....give some thought about breaking up their relationship.  It should fall on it's own merits or problems.  I wouldn't get into any cheating situations while she has a boyfriend.  I mean...put yourself in the guy's shoes.  Maybe make your feelings known, but be sure about them first.  If she's willing to make a serious go of it...then she should break up with him and be single first before you get all snuggly with her again.  That's only right.  Once you make your feelings known...theres no sense in butting in any further.  I wouldn't sneak around with her so she could test the waters first.  You wouldn't want a woman doing that to you if you was in his shoes. 

I wouldn't assert myself, just make your feelings known.  She can take it from there.  That's just me though. 

[fathertime]

I say go to Colombia and see what it is about!  I don't see any harm in going, so long as it is not going to pinch you in the wallet too much.  You already have your known quantity here but you still have the unknown quantity in Colombia.  You may never look back after going to Colombia OR you may come back ready to fight for & commit to this outstanding Mexican lady you have known for years here in the good old US of A.

As they say, "Nothing ventured...nothing ventured"  Or something like that!

Fathertime!

[william3rd]

ooops- missed a sentence in your initial post. You are sharing a girl with another guy?

Forget what I said a couple of posts back. . . .

Get rid of her. I have never been a big fan of sharing. I also believe in karma. She is cheating on a BF with you? And you are trying harder to be #1?

Go to Colombia. . . .

[wsfan#1]

Thanks again guys.  I'll think about what was written here.  As far as the karma thing is concerned, we are not cheating.  The temptation is always there, but we have refrained out of respect for her current boyfriend.  The bottom line is that he is a very nice guy who has treated her well, and taken care of her from a security perspective recently (i.e., helping with her car troubles, etc), but lacks passion.  He and I have both been in and out of a relationship with her over the past few years.  It really isn't her fault.  It's ours (he and I) for bailing out on her in the past.  She is very committed when she feels she is going to get the same type of treatment in return, but is confused right now.

Perhaps a trip to Colombia is what I need to clear my head. I am just tired of going out with women, and letting them down because I am still hung up on her. 

[Ray]

ws,

You said she came here by herself at 11?? Is she an orphan?

You can’t help you fall in love with and she sounds like a good woman. But I wouldn’t assume too much.

Relocating to Mexico City with her may be an option, but have you discussed this with her? Is she willing to “self-deport”, and probably not be allowed back into the country, to be with you? Is she willing to dump the other guy for good? If so, then you probably have a reasonable chance for a lifetime of happiness together.

On the illegal alien matter, I have some strong views on the subject but can understand the human element involved. Apparently you have already consulted with more than one immigration attorney so it sounds like you are on the right track with the legal issues.

For the medical insurance you mentioned, if this is an employer-sponsored group plan, I would make sure in advance that your spouse can be covered. In my case, when I married my foreign bride, she could not be added to my insurance until she arrived in the U.S. and had a valid Social Security Number. Your insurance carrier may have residence and documentation requirements that could be a potential problem. Don’t assume anything but check with your HR people in advance.

As you probably already found out from William and the other immigration attorneys, she likely will have no legal basis for adjusting status to legal residency if you marry her. You can marry her and live together here but her status will always be in violation of the law and you will have to make some big adjustments.

With the recent backlash to the open-border amnesty fiasco, I wouldn’t count on any “comprehensive immigration reform” in the foreseeable future. Likewise, I wouldn’t count on any chance of her getting a driver’s license or even keeping her job with the present legal climate surrounding the illegal immigration issue.

In any case, I agree with William that you shouldn’t do anything permanent without the assistance of a good immigration attorney and she should be fully involved in any and all legal decisions.

Ray

[Jeff S]

If you do relocate to Mexico and she's willing to go with you, you could bring her back on a K1 (fiance) visa.

- Jeff

[william3rd]

still needs a waiver. . . . . to set aside the ten year bar for more than 365 consecutive days in unlawful presence.

[Jeff S]

How would they know? Is it a question on the forms you have to swear to?

[william3rd]

Has your fiancee ever been to the US? Part B Question 11
How did you meet your alien fiancee? Page 2 of 129F

Addresses for last 5 years- G325 form
Employment for last 5 years-G325 form

See also DS forms for similar questions. . .

[Ray]

How would they know? Is it a question on the forms you have to swear to?

Yes Jeff, she has to swear under oath that all statements and documents are true.

They would BOTH have to commit some major fraud to conceal the fact that she was ever here illegally. Typical penalties under the law for giving false statements or attempting immigration fraud include a lifetime ban on immigration, imprisonment of up to 5 years, and fines of up to $250,000.

She will have to disclose all visits to the U.S., residence addresses since the age of 16, employment for the past 10 years, etc. There are also police clearances required and FBI background checks to pass.

It would take an accomplished liar to pass the visa and immigration interviews, and who wants an accomplished liar?

However, as William indicated, there are possible waivers.

[wsfan#1]

I have a couple questions for William on the following post....
Can you clarify what you mean by, "they will either grant and she comes over or deny, invoking the bar, and then you can relocate?

Does coming over mean her status will be adjusted?  I ask because she is here already.
Invoking the bar?  Do you mean she will be barred from the country for 10 years?
So I will relocate if she is barred for 10 years....

I think I figured it out in talking it through, but I'd like to clarify just to make sure I understand.

Thanks much for the help...

[Researcher]

   Hi wsfan....sounds like a tough situation...I have had friends  that were in the same situation and it rarely turned out good without going through alot of crap and spending alot of money.One guy I know has been married for 5 years, has a 2 year old and his wife is facing deportation because she overstayed a visa.As far as I know now, she has to leave and can't come back for 10 years.They have a lawyer and are now trying to get a waiver.You definitely need to speak to a lawyer, or several....If I was in the same situation as you, I would look at it like this:She would have to be a very SPECIAL lady before I would go through with trying to win her back and dealing with everything else.Knowing what I know now...I would probably go to Colombia and look for another SPECIAL lady there....I hope everything works out for you.....

[william3rd]

I have a couple questions for William on the following post....
Can you clarify what you mean by, "they will either grant and she comes over or deny, invoking the bar, and then you can relocate?

Does coming over mean her status will be adjusted?  I ask because she is here already.
Invoking the bar?  Do you mean she will be barred from the country for 10 years?
So I will relocate if she is barred for 10 years....

I think I figured it out in talking it through, but I'd like to clarify just to make sure I understand.

Thanks much for the help...

She cannot adjust here as an EWI. She has to go out and adjust at the consulate and come in with an IR visa. If they deny the waiver at the consulate, then she is barred for 10 years as a matter of law.

Researcher's friend has another problem. The only visas that you can overstay without being able to adjust are certain crewman visas and the J visa with a 2 year return home requirement. Also K that marries another. Ks that marry others are forever in limbo as amnesties do not include them.

[utopiacowboy]

For the uninitiated EWI is Entered Without Inspection.