Questions and Answers

[David]

I understand what he's saying David, not to "settle" for sub par. My point, again, is that by setting certain arbitrary standards of beauty, before you're even willing to consider finding out about a woman's personality, you may be bypassing someone who would be perfect for you. Every one of us has met women that you thought were a 7 looks wise, but after you got to know them, they became a 9, and vice versa, you've met 9+s that were 5s once you got to know them. It's amazing how your estimation of looks can change once you factor in the whole package.

- Jeff

I agree, but if there wasn't a shred of attraction, then there would be a problem. got to have both. I actually fell in love with a AW that I didn't think was that attractive, but noticed she had nice legs. It wasn't until we started talking, and within those first 30 seconds that I felt that electric shock of connection between me and her. I've never felt it with anyone else.

[el_ruso]

Jeff, I am glad you found a woman you are happy with.  My point was that the looks are important to me (though not the only variable by far), and I owe to myself not to compromise on any of those variables.  I am not at all looking for perfection.  I just will not compromise on those variables that are important to me.  Nor do I "demand" love and respect.  If the woman does not show me her love and treat me well, I will not be pursuing the relationship.  That's what I meant by saying I demand.

To me, looks and the desire of the woman to look good, are far more important than how gracious she is in social circles, or her career.  But I realize (if not understand) that for others it might be in reverse, or they might be willing to compromise on the beauty to get other qualities.  Like I said, I don't like formal dinners, and I don't need the woman to help me pay my bills.  Besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  JFK Jr or Spanish Prince of Asturias could have married MUUUUUCH better looking women then they did, but for whatever reasons they didn't.  Julia Roberts was voted once the sexiest woman or something like that, and that just made me laugh, but there are guys who perhaps find her incredibly sexy.

[Jeff S]

OK we're kind of all saying the same thing here, but looking at from two different angles. Beauty was important to me when I was looking, and believe me, few men wouldn't think my wife isn't beautiful. But see how far people have to go to disagree ..."not a shred of attraction..." My point always was and still is that you aren't doing yourself any favors by ignoring women who don't meet an arbitrary beauty standard (must be an 8.75 or above in looks, must have a C cup or bigger, etc.) because attraction is all about a whole package, and walking by someone who could become a 10 in your eyes just because she's only a B cup, to chase someone who will become a 2 in your eyes even though she's a D, is a waste of time, especially since for most of us our time overseas is limited, and finding a foreign partner is not an easy or inexpensive task.