Would Appreciate Some Advice

[jayson]

I've been lurking these forums for quite a while now, yet still dont know what to make of it.Not the actual forum itself, but the mixed information.On one hand, you have guys saying agencies are bad news....on the other some guys say they can be helpful as long as you go in with some sense and not too high expectations.Then you have people saying it's best to just get out there..do the local thing.

I suppose my question is......... what's best for a guy like me?Knows little Spanish, is fairly young(29) but doing well in terms of a career and $$. Of course looks have some bearing but not my first concern.........just honest woman, someone to share goodtimes and pick each other up in the bad ones.

Thoughts?

[papi]

1. you are only 29. why consider the project now? Not happy with USA chicas? That being said, I do know young guys that went south and got married

2. You speak little spanish. Consider taking some night classes and getting better. Study the dictionary while you are on the can. Spanish will be a big help.

3. I recommend a combination of papi approved agencies and online sites, yet the internet requires spanish

4. Once you decide to go, focus on your target market (Cali, Barranquilla, Bogota, Medellin, Cartagena, etc.). Decide which city or cities you want to try first. Possibly consider a smaller market/small town girl

At your age, you will be a kid in a candy store. Trust me. I am happy to be of any assistance. suerte con tu proyecto

[bundy_138]

I do not recommend that you go solo to Cali your first time.  Go the agency route if you want a sincere relationship.  Most, and I say most, agency girls are looking for a true, loving person to spend eternity with.  That being said, if you are looking for a wham, bam thank you mam kind of relationship, DO NOT GO TO AN AGENCY.  Most of the girls are not like that and it gives Gringos bad names.  If having a good time is what you are looking for and feel safe being by yourself, just go to Cali and hang around Ave. Sexta....plenty of "action" there.   One more thing, my Spanish is poor at best, but I had NO problem what-so-ever communicating with the ladies.  If you have the basics down and pronounce words correctly, and have a chica patient enough to work with you on communication, you should do fine.  Although I am no pro, (only 1 trip to Cali-last week), I have tons of useful information to share. 

The main thing I have observed is the "class" of woman you decide to date.  If she is Barrio 1 material, you have to expect the worst.  Quality in the numbers from what I can tell.  Just like in the USA, the more many they have, the better qualities they usually posses. 

Bundy

[papi]

1. spanish well help to better know the girl. it is also essential for online
2. agencies often attract the bottom of the barrel but not always
3. agency chicas vary from your garden variety cheek kissing virgins, players, and lunatics. Sincerity goes up with age
4. how can a bone jumper give a gringo a bad name...if she instigates things? Yet, some men can be heart breakers. Same goes for women. I am more concerned about men getting screwed over.
5. Not easy to meet good women on sexta. better at chipichapi. but i still say work the agencies and internet, especially on a short time frame. Tienda vieja on sundays can be good fishing

[rpcv]

You will be one( if not the youngest) American compared to other guys going to Colombia to meet women. This is a good thing in my opinion; (I made my first trip when I was 32 and I am 36 now). Bundy is right that if all you want is a fun time, stay away from the agencies. The word will travel fast about you and you will spoil it for others to follow. You can also try to meet women at Universities or in stores/offices. The latter being a good idea because then you know she has a job.

Speaking of agencies, they are a good place to start. Not all are the same in terms of services or owners but try to do some research first about which city you want to visit. I can only speak from Medellin and Cali but I would recommend both of them.
If you need contacts (i.e a reliable translator/driver, etc. send me a PM)

Try to learn as much Spanish as possible before going there. The more you know, the less you need to rely on translators, etc. Also, in the event you have a great time and want to return (I don't see why you wouldn't), consider now about how often you will be able to visit in a year. Email/phone calls are great but nothing beats in person communication.

[sean126]

Jayson,
Honestly, if you asked 10 different guys the same question...more than likely you'd get a minimum of 5 DIFFERENT answers.  Me and others on here have had excellent results with an agency, others have had just as good results without one.

Me....I was 35 years old my first time down to Barranquilla.  I didn't know hardly any spanish at all....I don't know much now, but even less then...and I used an agency.  I really had the time of my life.  Other guys perfer to try to find a paid guide from someone on a forum....which is usually an acquaintance or a (kinda-sorta) friend to translate and help them meet women.  

There are very beautiful women in any city that you'd want to go.  Someone at your age should do really well....provided that your not a poster boy for birth control...(translation--> not butt-ugly).  The hardest part will be to decide which city to go to.  A different idea would be to do a combo with Cartegena and Barranquilla, they're only about an hour and a half apart...if you have a few weeks or more to spare.

I would disagree with only one thing that Bundy has said....IMHO, money doesn't mean more or less of a quality person and poor people are just as honest and good hearted as the ones who are more fortunate.  A woman with money or coming from a family with money doesn't improve (nor does it hurt) your chances of a successful relationship and vice versa....in my opinion it depends on the KIND of person she is rather than the kind of things she owns or possess'.  I wouldn't let her money or lack of money influence your decision making in the least, IMO.

[papi]

I didn't know hardly any spanish at all....I don't know much now,

well then, i guess you could be the poster child for those (see nutjobs) that proselytize not to get on the plane unless yu speak it. i try to be the voice of moderation

[bundy_138]

Let me rephrase what I said about the class of the girls.....I saw that the girls from the poorer barrios were more straight forward to ask for money, gifts, etc.  The girls from the more wealthy families did not.  (In my experience)  If you are somewhat in tune with reality, you can spot someone who has a less than perfect upbringing, has experienced a hard life, or is a gold digging, green card hound!   People can change in a second if they are down and out and need money.

Bundy

[Dan Las Vegas]

I can only suggest that you decide where you want to go and then just go for it! It would be good to learn as much spanish as possible prior to your trip. My Spanish is poor but at least I could ask directions, order a meal, get directions etc, but it would have been great to have a higher level of Spanish. Luckily for me, my novia is fluent in English, but even so, there were still  a few times we did not understand each other completely. I can't say good or bad about the agencies as I have never used one. I met my novia on amigos.com and from the very beginning had some great chemistry with her. But you never know for sure until you meet in person and see if the chemistry is still there. But even if things did not work out, I would have had a great trip visiting Medellin. But I lucked out and found myself an amazing woman. I'm going back to Medellin in April to spend a couple more weeks with her. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Dan

[sean126]

I can see the logic in what Bundy said and it may probably be true....for Latinas as a whole (more affluent vs. really poor), but thankfully I have not experienced it.  I didn't think of this until Bundy got me thinking...but to add to his comment...on the flip side of that coin you have some Latinas that's not hurting for money and are a little up-idy and they think they are too good for a common Colombian male and are drawn to a gringo....because they think this puts them into a higher social class among their peers and some how this makes them a "better person".  It's not because of your money or a green card but for "social status" in this example, which they think puts them a little higher up on the ladder than one of their equals.  It's not so much you, as a person, but what you stand for....in their social circle, which I think is just as bad as the gold diggers and green card sharks....just in a different way because it's still not "you" that they really love.  I've experienced this for myself and note that I said "some". I didn't say "most" or "many" and I would bet that it's not AS common as what Bundy said, but it does happen and that's something that you should watch out for also.

[papi]

you have some Latinas that's not hurting for money and are a little up-idy and they think they are too good for a common Colombian male and are drawn to a gringo....because they think this puts them into a higher social class among their peers and some how this makes them a "better person".  It's not because of your money or a green card but for "social status" in this example, which they think puts them a little higher up on the ladder than one of their equals.

interesting. I don't buy it but interesting nonetheless. The snobs i have seen in the upscale places didn't give me that impression at all...in my opinion they have no interest in gringos. My amigos living there concur. But hey, insightful commentary. Well, maybe they are attracted to Pdaddy and you 

[sean126]

I associate with the "common folk", so I don't know about many of the better classes. LOL.

Also, I've noticed and I've had people tell me...I'm talking about in Barranquilla, that because of the wide ranges of tan color skin, that the lighter the women are, the better they think of themselves in relation to how they think about one of darker skin tone.  Kinda like racism almost, but on a much smaller scale....or it could be that I just naturally attract snobby women.

Well, maybe they are attracted to Pdaddy and you 

LOL.  Since I've started reading his commentary about women....I'm becoming a "closet fan" of Pdaddy.

[papi]

I'm becoming a "closet fan" of Pdaddy.

well, i don't know if pdaddy offers the same perks as the original fan club but i will taking forming a new organization under consideration

[utopiacowboy]

I am curious why a young guy like you would even consider Colombia? In spite of what you read here, it is still possible to meet an attractive gringa with whom you could be happy. Women are women, here or in Colombia.

[el_ruso]

I was 29 when I went to Colombia the first time, and I met my girl when I was 29 as well (I am 31 now).  Colombian women are wonderful IMO.  Well, I have met all kinds, but if you have your head on your shoulders and positive, you will have success and will be able to find a diamond.

Regarding learning spanish, you SHOULD put an effort into learning it.  Really.  HOWEVER, don't waste your time and money on classes.  The only way to learn a foreign language is to speak it.  If you get a gf who only speaks Spanish, that helps a LOT    Do get a book to learn grammar and basics though.

Try to answer personals instead of agencies.  Subscribe to MatchInternational.com, Cybercupido.com (which allows you to write letters without even paying for subscription), Amigos.com, etc.  Agencies are very expensive, and you can find more and better looking women through personals.  Really.  The nicest cities are Bogota and Medellin.  I recommend you focus on those.  Cartagena is beautiful but uncomfortably hot.  Cali is somewhat rundown and dirty, but there are a lot of beautiful women there as elsewhere in Colombia.  I went by myself every time, did not have any problem at all.  If you go with friends it will be a lot more fun.

I ENCOURAGE you to go to Colombia.  And it is true that everyone will give you a different advice    Hope my advice was of help though.  good luck!

[Chris F]

Hey Jason!!

Welcome to the board.

Anyone who is only 29 will have some advantage...especially if you speak decent Spanish. However..a persons physical appearance will make a difference on the women they are attracting as well. Whether you are 29 or 49 women in South America PREFER a man who takes care of himself.

The bottom line...

If you are 29 and are not considered overweight and you still have a full head of hair...speak some Spanish...you will have many choices........no matter what city you choose.

Good Luck on your search!!