My CZ - part 2

[papi]

Based on some PM's and advice I requested from a few in the fan club, i'd like to take a moment to explain better exactly what happened with my zirconia. About a year ago out of the blue i got an email from a young chica i had dated a couple times the year earlier. I was actually in korea when she wrote me. Anyway, i wrote back and we ended up exchanging some emails but we would go weeks or months without a letter and i made several trips to Cali  (she is in medellin) without seeing her. What changed things was when i installed messenger for the first time a few months ago...then the sparks started to fly and i had my cyber novia.

Man cannot live on the internet, so i decided to go see her. I really didn't have much desire to go to mde so i decided to make my way down via central america. Things started to get weird a few days before my arrival. i was obviously traveling a long way just to see her and we had been writing for a year and i thought it would be nice if she met me at the airport which she said earlier that she wanted to do. So i sent her the number of the taxi guy that was picking me up as well as my flight info. What got weird was that she kept asking me what time i was arriving when i had emailed it to her and told her on the phone several times. i even called her from the airport in panama before my flight and as you can guess she did not post. Needless to say i was disappointed. In fact, i almost called off my trip to mde from panama but i had everything setup so i went anyway.

i booked my trip for 3 nights only..i figured that was enough time to tell if it was the real thing. she arrived at my hotel Friday night and of course there was some chemistry and she looked sexier than i remembered. I held back from letting things go too far the first night and we ended up ordering food. She ended up leaving early which was another disappointment but i figured we had 2 more nights.

Saturday she talked about coming over around 1. She was not answering her phone and i figured that was it. She was just after me for a camera and call it a day but to my surprise she posted about 5. Well, things got romantic but i will keep it PG for the matter of the forum. Later we went to an area in the nearby hills called las palmitas but it was packed so we left and went to parque lleras for dinner. She went home from there at 11.

Sunday was basically another repeat. She said she was coming over in the afternoon but again didn't make it until about 5. Again, another romantic early evening and then we ordered in food. She basically ate and ran leaving at 8. It felt like being with a pro but she is not. That i am sure of even though she acts like it at times.

Monday she came over around noon. we got some empanadas and ate them in my hotel. i left for the airport about an hour later.

Well, i guess i was completely perplexed and rather disappointed. I am looking for a wife despite what some may think and felt that i certainly could not trust her. But of course the chats continue with the mi amor, te piensos and so forth and i have some feelings for her. The other day i mentioned meeting in Cartagena and  the first thing she says is that she needs clothes for the beach. She also said she needs to pay for someone to take care of her mom...her mom just had surgery.

Again, she is a nice girl and not a pro yet again i am completely perplexed.

[valleydude]

I went through that crap with the girl in Barranquilla. I was "perplexed"; because I had no clue what to call it. All I know is one thing, I won't be doing that again.

I rarely see that game here, and never put up with it before. For some reason, with her I thought it was different. I would say that it was the culture, believe her excuses, etc... Hey I am in Colombia, I want to know her, if she can't make it until 5 then I should wait. Never again.

What basically happened to me is that after all the chats and phone calls I was interested in her and in person she was attractive as well, so it was difficult to write off the investment I had made. I accepted her excuses and she threw me just enough bait to keep me on the line.

After I got home I realized what was going on and that it was not right. I accepted that maybe she wasn't totally into me and if she was in to me, I definitely could not live like that. I did not want that I wrote her off. It's like 1 1/2 years later and she still tries to chat with me, and calls me, but I don't bother with her. She has said: "Come back, I promise I will treat you better this time". That just solidified my decision not to ever go see her again. The reason being is she knows how she treated me. I can see that game coming a mile away now. I can now see that is the beginning of one sick relationship.

Maybe your experience is different, but it sounds similar to what I went through. If I was you, I would just entirely write this girl off. A couple of years ago when I would see some of these guys write: "Next!" I would think they could be kind of cold. Now, I can understand it completely.

VD

[bundy_138]

Good response VD.  I use the "NEXT" rule pretty often.  I know what I have to offer someone and I don't put up with any s*it!  If you keep it in your mind that there are so many women out there that will take her place, then you should have no problems finding "the one".

That old saying "There are more fish in the sea" is so correct. 

Bundy

[mrcave]

Papi.

Having yet to make my first trip down south, I've been listening, rather than talking.

The girl sure didn't seem to pull out all the stops to make your visit great. It won't get any better once she thinks she's got you on the hook.

Camera? Clothes? Mother? Waaayyy too much gimme, gimme, gimme!! For that kind of pay day, she should have met you at the airport, and spent 24/7, laughing at your jokes, rubbing you shoulders, bringing your pipe and slippers, and doing things that would make a porn star blush.

No, if she's not willing to put in the work it'd take to fool a newby, she's already multitasking for the bigger, better deal.

RUN!

[papi]

Camera? Clothes? Mother? Waaayyy too much gimme, gimme, gimme!! For that kind of pay day, she should have met you at the airport, and spent 24/7, laughing at your jokes, rubbing you shoulders, bringing your pipe and slippers, and doing things that would make a porn star blush.

No, if she's not willing to put in the work it'd take to fool a newby, she's already multitasking for the bigger, better deal.

LOL! I especially like the part about her failing to bring me my slippers and pipe (actually cuban cigars). 

[el_ruso]

Good luck finding a colombiana who shows up on the minute she promised.  Seriously, good luck.

Look on the positive though: she got the camera.

[daytrader]

gee, my gal has been there at the airport for me... and on time...and she meets me during the daytime as well...AND she stays a helluva lot later than 8 pm!   

I'd say you got about what would be expected by me and others that are not "expurt/experienced" on latinas like you and many other multi-stars are! 

press the {NEXT} button, Papi.  Care to rethink the usage of 'novia' since she wouldn't even meet you in the midday? 

DayTrader

...pot boils over on planet-love stove!

[william3rd]

OMIGOD- the multistar stuff again. . . . . .

Just keep posting and you too can become star crossed. . . .

[papi]

gee, my gal has been there at the airport for me... and on time...and she meets me during the daytime as well...AND she stays a helluva lot later than 8 pm!   

I'd say you got about what would be expected by me and others that are not "expurt/experienced" on latinas like you and many other multi-stars are!

press the {NEXT} button, Papi.  Care to rethink the usage of 'novia' since she wouldn't even meet you in the midday?

DayTrader

Well, I never said I was an expert. I do however have some experience in Latin America and understand both the language and the culture. I have been to Nicaragua, Cuba, Panama, Costa Rica, Mexico, Peru and of course Colombia where I have traveled to Barranquilla, Medellin, Cali, Bogota, Pareira, San Andres and Cartagena. I have met hundreds of young, attractive ladies in my travels and found few that are punctual. I am surprised you found dating young attractive latinas a more timely experience...but good for you...

[valleydude]

The whole "next" concept was difficult for me at first, but I learned it's what we have to do. For me; when I started this it was like I had to begin dating all over again, and in some ways I ended up exactly where I am with dating here. It was like I had to learn the same lessons all over again. If she isn't hesitating in putting me second, I'm not going to hesitate to do the same to her, in the initial stages of getting to know each other.

I accepted these girls being very late even though I would not accept it here.
When she was an hour late, I accepted it as "the culture" because I read it, and also saw it on the boards that these girls were usually late. I like a girl that is prompt and I think there are many girls down there that are responsible as to punctuality. Now, I will treat their punctuality the same as I would an American girl except with just a little more slack.  From the polls I was taking from the locals it seems 30 minutes is the cut off. As a general rule, I wouldn't wait over 30 minutes any more. Of course there are exceptions, but at 30 minutes I'd walk away instead of starting to make the "Latin culture" excuses to myself.

VD

[bundy_138]

Yeah, I agree with a cita being on time.  If she can't be there at the specified time, then she doesn't deserve my attention.  Try being late picking her up when she needs a ride and see where that gets ya'.  Very disrespectful....culture or not.

Hommie don't play that!

Bundy

[daytrader]

my experience with latina time is that everything is 15 minutes to half an hour late, except the first date, she MUST be on time for that.  If there is a time issue, she must have the common sense and enuff minutes on her cell phone to call me or have a relative/friend call and notify me she is running late. 

No phone call and she is more than 15 minutes late, {NEXT}, although I will be polite and go thru the motions.  This happened only once on my first trip, and the chica was a silicone disaster IMO. 

DayTrader

[el_ruso]

I am not at all anal on the punctuality thing.  In my country people are not expected to be on the minute, so I am very open-minded on that, however within reason.

Basically, if the girl would call me and let me know she is running late, I would not be happy, but will accept it as not really a big deal.  If she doesn't call however, and especially if she is late a great deal and does not answer my calls, I would be pissed.  In other words, if she is letting me know, I am OK with it, as long as it is within reason, and not every time.  If she doesn't, it means she is disrespectful or doesn't care, and that will not fly.  And for the first date, both the guy and the girl have to be on time.

[utopiacowboy]

I really don't know how my wife survived her 42 years in Colombia especially being a supervisor over large groups of manufacturing workers. She is always punctual and expects everyone else to be on time as well. Nothing aggravates her more than someone being late or even worse, being late herself.