what agency to use, and what about IMBRA, esp Vietnam?

[piet-gorilla]

Hey guys, I am helping a friend with a search in Vietnam.  I think the best source was Blue Dragon in the past.  That is where I found my wife, and she worked out perfectly.  They had lots of excellent candidates on their site.   They pretended IMBRA did not effect them when it came into effect, then they eventually shut down.  There was another agency that was going by the name "Love of Asia".  They are still out there, but are now part of something bigger when you really dig into their site.  They were for sale just before IMBRA, then briefly shut down post IMBRA, then somehow became part of Asian Friend Finder.  They seemed to have a pretty good list before IMBRA.  I am not especially impressed with the way their site works compared to pre IMBRA, when they were independent.  VietCupid now appears to have the best site, please let me know if there is a better one out there.  Anyway, these sites appear to be mostly based outside of the U.S. and do not deal with the IMBRA issue.   I corresponded with Vietcupid on this issue, and they just keep sending ridiculous answers that never touch on the question, waiting for you to give up.  Blue Dragon used this approach as well, before they shut down. Apparently they just want you to use them and then deal with IMBRA on you own.  Being based outside of America, they are okay with this approach, but of course a U.S. citizen is not following the IMBRA using them.  So, are people using these sites, and then creating a false scenario on how they met their fiance?  I know some of the agencies that do Russia and many of the other countries actually comply.  So, to summarize:

1 - what site has the best list of candidates for Vietnam?

2 - is anyone aware of a site that specializes in Vietnam that follows IMBRA or is exempt from IMBRA?
(I think Vietsingle is exempt, but the seriousness of the majority of the candidates is not very high).

3 - are people  using these non IMBRA compliant sites and then just creating a different scenario for the story of how they met?

Thanks for any info you can give me. 

[Jeff S]

Are you top gorilla? If so, glad to gear you and your wife are doing well. Is your wife's sister (was it?) still looking or did she find someone?

[piet-gorilla]

Wow, I wasn't even sure this was the same site.  Some folks here were kinda disparaging about my deal, telling me how I was "headed for disaster".  You may recall, my wife is substantially younger than I, also quite beautiful.  Some other fella insisted that was a mistake, then went into a rant on how we should look for women who are not beautiful, someone else chimed in about how young people are the same all over the world.  To that guy I would say, did your daughter make it to the age of 19 without ever going on a date, as it would interfere with her studies?  Was she that serious about life?  My wife is that serious.  I decided I was not going to be able to educate these individuals to the reality of Vietnam, and how the process is supposed to work, so I quit posting.  Anyway, we have been married about a year and a half, have not had a single problem, and she is an incredible girl.  Yes, she is 22 now, and she is so serious she makes most middle aged people in this country seem like, well, the normal Americans that we are.  I read something about asians being "study robots", that may be a pretty good description of her approach to college.  Her notes on math and chemistry are extremely impressive.  I am her personal tutor on anything relating to the English language or culture, or computers.  It is a very happy marriage, and very fulfilling for me to have such a fine woman as my wife.  Anyway, I don't even try to talk people into this thing, most of us are just not worthy of them, to be honest.  Her sister is still single, but probably too serious for most anyone in this country, she is teaching at a college there, and doing quite well.  Not sure what she will do for marriage, they seem to feel they have to make a move before 30, and she still has about 6 years to go.  Educated folks like her are doing a lot better over there now, so she is not really quite the kind who is looking to find a way out.  Thanks for asking.  Seems like not a whole lot of knowledgeable people posting over here.  Perhaps they get the same treatment  I got, and decide not to waste their time.  Seems a shame, one becomes an expert on this thru his experience, then no longer needs it after successfully figuring out the process.  Attempting to share that knowledge creates petty turf battles with the mr knowitalls of the internet, who want their own thrones in cyberspace, or whatever the mindset is of such folks.  So I don't post my experiences or excerpts of my writings. I am helping a gentleman with his search now, which is a different challenge now due to IMBRA.  Was hoping to find more detail on this kind of question over here, but did not.  Let me know if there is a better place to look.  Visajourney is almost all about the visa aspect, almost nothing about the search.   

[william3rd]

I have posted in other areas on this. I

MBRA, for the most part, seems to be much ado about nothing. Most of the feedback that I have gotten from clients seem to be that there have been zero questions about dating services and compliance.

Even without IMBRA compliance, there are provisions for waivers.

I would make sure that any petitioner embarking on this process is  making full disclosure on criminal background, children, divorces, and prior fiancees, etc.

That is the same advice that I have always given my cases-IMBRA or not. Must be the Dr. Laura in me. . . . . .

[Jeff S]

Well, glad to see you back gorilla. Don't pay any attention to some of the professional MOB seekers who can't seem to ever become an MOB finder. There are plenty of successful people here who have achieved their dream, and we all realize that there are many paths that lead to the top of the mountain.

Looking forward to having you hang around.

- Jeff

[Ray]

I see that Mr. Gorilla still has the same old chip on his shoulder as he did 2 years ago.

If you are going to run down this forum and it's members, then I wouldn't expect much help with your questions... 

Anyway, congratulations on your marriage and I wish you luck.

[Tim]

I am happy for Mr. Gorilla too, and I wish him continued happiness.

However, I wanted to speak up to comment on something he said - not specifically to contradict him, but to point out something important to the new guys here.

Let me preface these comments by saying that I understand how people perceive 'success' differently. But in the case of marriage, we want to focus on long-term success, right?

Personally, I don't see how Mr. G. can claim his marriage is 'successful' after only 1.5 years. That's not nearly long enough to make that claim. Let his wife get her permanent resident status, then wait a few more years. If they are still together and happy then, perhaps a 'success' can be declared.

[Side note: I've been married 6.5 years now. My wife has her permanent residency and we're happy, yet I'm still not prepared to declare a 'success' yet. ]

The point I want to stress to the new guys is that you can't just 'declare victory' shortly after the marriage vows are said. Success in international marriages requires constant maintenance. It's a lifetime adventure.

Just my opinion, YMMV.   

[william3rd]

Here is my post from the other board from today-

define desirable result. . . . engagement? yep- they all got there. marriage? well- most (probably 70%)of them got there. Successs- well- the numbers are still falling from the success column as time goes on like autumn leaves from a tree. Whether it be WOVO or WMVM or somewhere in between, if you dont have at least five years in the marriage column, then the issue is still very much in doubt.

I am amazed by the Pollyanna posts. The honeymoon is still going on and the guys act like they are talking to their grandkids about life. Oh well- I did the same thing once.

[Ray]

God point Tim!

But I guess if you are going to proclaim yourself to be an expert in this game, you have to also proclaim your marriage to be a success, right?

Some of these guys just amaze me...

Have you been married that long already? Sounds like you got a good one there Tim. Mine will be 7 years this April, but I'm not going to shout to the world that my marriage is a success either. But maybe Jeff S can? 

Is Wendy going to apply for naturalization? Have you seen the new proposed fee schedule?   

Ray

[Tim]

Ray, I do think Wendy wants to apply for US citizenship later this year. We had heard about the proposed fee increase; I'll check more closely when the time comes to file.