Be Careful Out There!

[Gorio]

Some members may find this story of interest.

First off let me say, I am no newbie when it comes to the Philippines or Filipino culture. I have lived there for periods of time due to work and well as most men who travel there became enamored with Filipinas. I've been from Sagada to Cebu and feel I am fairly well versed in the goings on. I had dated a few filipinas while there, but nothing got too serious.

As I am starting to climb up in years (I am 36 now) I thought to myself, wouldn't it be great to meet a nice traditional filipina and settle down. I was married for 12 years to an American woman, but have been "free" the past 4 years .Let me see what type of woman I can meet online and take it from there I told myself.

Hopes high, I signed up for AsianEuro.com. I chatted with dozens of different girls and I finally met one whom I thought was "the one". We have been chatting for some time, talked on the phone, I spoke with her parents, Aunties, ates, brothers you name it. She was a bit young for me I thought at 19, but very charming and drop dead gorgeous so she won my heart over. Seemed to me she had a nice working family and everything seemed too good to be true. Turns out it was.....

Just last night, a jealous ex-GF (another filipina) whom I had broken up several months back somehow found a way in to this girls email account. She promptly forwarded me all kinds of messages to and from different men as during the time frame I'm chatting with this girl. She gave me the log in and I was floored. Turns out she has about 6 different email accounts. I'm reading this in a shocked state wondering how I could have been so completely duped. I had a couple of warning bells early on, such as a "broken phone" episode. But I had never sent her money. Her winning charm and smile made me blind however.

Next, I get a message from some guy claiming to be her filipino BF living in the US signed in to her account. This however I think was the jealous EX but it made for some interesting reading none the less. I could post if some are interested, but again my gut tells me it was the EX.

I had bought tickets to go to the Philippines anyways for business in October, but had planed to meet her and even had a ticket to Mindanao on Cebu Pacific and hotel reservations in her town. I'm saddened of course, but better I found out now than later.

Moral of the story for me is to stick to girls closer to my age, if it's too good to be true, it probably is and guard that heart.

Cheers.

[Gorio]

my bad new to this forum. accidentally replied to myself when modifying post.

[Ray]

...everything seemed too good to be true.

Yep!

Welcome to the forum Gorio.

I must have missed something in your story. What did you expect, chatting with a teenager? Were you two engaged to be married or somehow mutually committed in an exclusive relationship? Have you met in person yet?

In real life, until you show up and meet her in person, you are just another guy in a chat room, feeding the fantasy of an immature teenager. Even after phone conversations and other correspondence, I don’t think she owes you her exclusive attention unless she made a firm commitment, as in accepting a proposal of marriage. Until then, why can’t she pursue other prospects?

I agree with your conclusion to find a lady a little more mature, maybe twenty-five and up. And don’t expect an exclusive relationship until you show up and meet her and have a commitment to marry.

Ray

[Gorio]

Thanks for the welcome.

Oh don't get me wrong, Ray. If it was simple hello kumusta ka type emails I wouldn't have posted here. I should have been more specific as to the subject matter. We are talking elaborate schemes with requests for money from kanos. Things such as illnesses, broken phones with changing story lines. She had some filing system by state, country etc to keep track of her men. All this time she is saying I am her one and only and she never had a BF in her life. I certainly agree with what you are saying, but this was a little over the top. The extent of the lies was just amazing and almost business like. Also, my ex-gf vehemently denies sending me those messages I had mentioned earlier.

I don't know how you guys find the online scene. I think I may be better off in person while I am there. What's your opinion? I know one bad experience shouldn't tarnish my views but that was bad.

[Ray]

Personally, I wouldn't trust anything I hear in a chat room. I guess you have personally witnessed the BS that goes on in the Internet Cafes over there. And on-line scamming of foreigners for money seems to be a booming industry in the Phils. That’s why we are always advising new guys to never discuss money matters, at least until your have met in person and are fully committed.

I think your idea of meeting new ladies in person vice on-line is a lot safer.

Ray

[Bear]

Being one of those guys who met a lady online and later married her, I have to agree, online "courting" it is pretty dangerous.  But I did it.  I think the that what is most important is that you treat this like one of the most important events in your life and keep your wits about you.  Try to trip them up, its not your just your life but hers too, so a good candidate won't be too upset.  Not all the ladies online are evil and out to use every person she chats with, but there are obvious signs and things you can watch out for that I think you clearly missed.  I think one of the easiest is long pauses which from your details should have been one of your redflags.  Another would have been missed chat dates.  Anyone with that many guys on hook would have to have missed quite a few chat dates and tried to maximize her efforts by chatting with more than one at a time.

The Bear Family