Would You "Loan" an Ex $300

[Hector_Lavoe]

I put the "Loan" in quotes for obvious reasons. But this is a serious inquiry as I have been asked to provide a loan of $300 to a girl in Panama who I was seeing two years ago.

She is on the verge of getting her legal status in Panama and needs the $300 for those purposes. I broke it off with her almost two years ago.

We had no contact for the last year. She contacted me about a month ago to say "hello" and I believe she is single now. She promises to pay it back and also said, "If you can't do it, I will understand."

I have been there done that before! About 15 years ago a Latina I was dating here in the states asked for the exact same amount. We had recently broken up and she never asked for money when we dated. She asked for a "loan" of $300 and I gave it to her. I never asked for the money back and she never made any effort to pay it back. That was ok with me because I knew $300 was a lot more to her than it was to me. I also knew the girl's history and how hard she worked at her job, etc.

[Elexpatriado]

You know The answer.


If you want to give her a "gift" of $300 go ahead.

Forget the idea of a "loan"

[ag1987]

agree, $300 gift.


but I wouldn't give it to an ex...unless you did wrong by her LOL - good karma?

[mudd]

thats a typical latina, havent heard from her in a year, then pops up " can you help me with a loan"  which really means


 " i know you have money and are  prob dumb enough to give it to me so ill ask, and i really have no intention of paying it back"


 as my amiga  that ive known for many years told me " gringos are just dumber men with more money" 

[Hector_Lavoe]

^Thanks for all the replies.

AG19887: No, I don't think this is karma for a bad break up. When I did break it off with her I did pay for a dental bill she had. Can't recall the amount but it was around $100 or $150 max.

Mudd: Yep, she is likely thinking hey why not ask the rich, dumb gringo.  Well I paid for her dental bill once...why not ask again. LOL.

 

[Wildstubby]

Well Hector, I guess it would be how much do you value $300? If its no skin off of your back, you only have $300 to lose and maybe something in return may come your way, (not the money but some sort of favor). If it puts you in a tight situation or you busted your a$$ for what you have, then I would say, "I'm sorry honey, but I just can't spare it now." The reason I say this is last year at this time I was working shift work and making very good money. Because of the hours I was working, I couldn't spend it so $300 would be no problem. Fast forward to today now I'm making a little less, and I can spend it on something. I would think twice about it.

[robert angel]

Learned something today. The term "Third world nation" was created more for political reasons than economic. 1st world nations were those aligned with basically the western victors of WWII, 2nd world those aligned with the USSR, and "3rd world" basically lumped the rest of the nonealligned,  largely still "developing" nations all together.

But history aside, I think there's almost a global mindset amongst those in "developing" countries, especially among those of lower income, that:

"If you were able to "loan" me the money, you obviously didn't REALLY need it"

Further more, your asking (if repayment of any so called "loan" even comes up later, you may come across as stingy, cheap--well, you probably get my point....

My wife's family does pretty OK financially, but one year the crop was pretty bad and I loaned a large sum to get my brother in law through an agency, for and to an excellent job in Japan. Long story, and everyone knows I NEVER make long posts, but in a nationally reported swindle, the "agency" defrauded my in law and 1000s of others, from their (my) money.

Next year, the crop was good and I got every cent back without asking.

But 95% of Filipina "ex GFs" and probably a LOT of women worldwide, would probably write you off. And even if you were 'rude' enough to ask for repayment of your loan, give you a litany of reasons why they couldn't, making you out to be some kind of awful dude.

Of course, "Your mileage may vary" and only you can weigh the odds,  but I'd be wary, especially if there's no quid pro quo of any sort involved.

[mambocowboy]

^Thanks for all the replies.

AG19887: No, I don't think this is karma for a bad break up. When I did break it off with her I did pay for a dental bill she had. Can't recall the amount but it was around $100 or $150 max.

Mudd: Yep, she is likely thinking hey why not ask the rich, dumb gringo.  Well I paid for her dental bill once...why not ask again. LOL.

Think of it this way. One or more men are tappin' that a--, and they aren't giving her the money. Why should you?

[Elexpatriado]

Learned something today. The term "Third world nation" was created more for political reasons than economic. 1st world nations were those aligned with basically the western victors of WWII, 2nd world those aligned with the USSR, and "3rd world" basically lumped the rest of the nonealligned,  largely still "developing" nations all together.

But history aside, I think there's almost a global mindset amongst those in "developing" countries, especially among those of lower income, that:

"If you were able to "loan" me the money, you obviously didn't REALLY need it"

Further more, your asking (if repayment of any so called "loan" even comes up later, you may come across as stingy, cheap--well, you probably get my point....

My wife's family does pretty OK financially, but one year the crop was pretty bad and I loaned a large sum to get my brother in law through an agency, for and to an excellent job in Japan. Long story, and everyone knows I NEVER make long posts, but in a nationally reported swindle, the "agency" defrauded my in law and 1000s of others, from their (my) money.

Next year, the crop was good and I got every cent back without asking.

But 95% of Filipina "ex GFs" and probably a LOT of women worldwide, would probably write you off. And even if you were 'rude' enough to ask for repayment of your loan, give you a litany of reasons why they couldn't, making you out to be some kind of awful dude.

Of course, "Your mileage may vary" and only you can weigh the odds,  but I'd be wary, especially if there's no quid pro quo of any sort involved.

"If you were able to "loan" me the money, you obviously didn't REALLY need it"

By the same token, if she had the financial means AND Ethics to be able to repay the loan, she would be too proud to ask in the first place.

[iambboy8012]

I would say no, and it’s not just developing nations were woman don’t pay back lol. I lent my ex 2600, a few years back, and guess what I’m still waiting for it. Let me rephrase that I stopped waiting last year, her sister try’s to pay me back, but I know her sister needs the money. But that’s just my experience with that ex and of course cousins, and makes me wary of “loans”. People think because you make good money it’s no problem for you, I gotta think about retirement lol.

[Hector_Lavoe]

Think of it this way. One or more men are tappin' that a--, and they aren't giving her the money. Why should you?

Exactly!!! Not going to do it.....

[mudd]

People think because you make good money it’s no problem for you,

thats a typical mindset in colombia.  because you have money, they think its no big deal for you, even thought they have no idea how many years you had to struggle to get ahead ,or how hard you had to work and save.

Think of it this way. One or more men are tappin' that a--, and they aren't giving her the money. Why should you?

oh thats sooo true. you know she giving it to somebody and it aint you, so why are you paying lol

[Hector_Lavoe]

I would like to say I told the manipulative bitch a hard no but since she couched the request in polite/nice terms I very politely said no.

I could easily have sent her the $300 but since I am not with her...the idea of sending her anything bothered me.

I guess the rose colored glasses just came off even more which makes forgetting about her easier. Then again, isn't it all about the money or trading up for these girls?

[buenopues4]

The fact that you even considered it is the reason colombianas so often ask gringos for money. 

[Hector_Lavoe]

^Buenpues: She is not Colombiana but your comment most definitely applies (to her and all of Latin America)!

And while I was NOT likely to do this anyway...I have to thank Mambocowboy for his very direct/excellent comment on why it is such a stupid idea.

[Elexpatriado]

^Buenpues: She is not Colombiana but your comment most definitely applies (to her and all of Latin America)!

And while I was NOT likely to do this anyway...I have to thank Mambocowboy for his very direct/excellent comment on why it is such a stupid idea.

Yeah..let the guy who is boning her lend her the money..

As a matters of fact, you may even suggest she pay back any gifts or money she may have manipulate off of you during the relationship..kind of pimping her out

I know a Colombian.who did that..he was the Marrano..when the girl married  a richer guy..she  paid all the money back he supported her with from her new "source"..and suposedly was boning her the same time
Dont know if this is true or just another Colombian chismoso

[Fosgate5]

I wouldn't cross the street to piss on any ex if she was on fire. When it's over it's over. Don't try to talk to me or ever let me see you again. I learned my lesson early on from those late night booty calls from ex's It's just best to stay away. Let them back in and they just try to sabbotage and use you.

[mudd]

I wouldn't cross the street to piss on any ex if she was on fire. When it's over it's over. Don't try to talk to me or ever let me see you again. I learned my lesson early on from those late night booty calls from ex's It's just best to stay away. Let them back in and they just try to sabbotage and use you.

i had an ex in medellin some years past.  dated for about 6 months. then just couldnt deal with all her problems, mostly family related and her drinking.


6 months later, she shows up at my apt at 1 am, drunk. looking for some affection.  then she did it again 3 weeks later, sooooo drunk, i could smell the whisky all over her. how she could even remember where i lived being that drunk, was a shock.


so i talked to a mutual amiga of her and asked " wtf is going on with her"   her friend informed me, " wow, you better stay away from her, she dating some narco guy"


told the porteria guys " she comes again, say  i went back to the US"   she showed up again a month later, after that, didnt hear from her again until last year, now shes in the US lol

[Elexpatriado]

i had an ex in medellin some years past.  dated for about 6 months. then just couldnt deal with all her problems, mostly family related and her drinking.


6 months later, she shows up at my apt at 1 am, drunk. looking for some affection.  then she did it again 3 weeks later, sooooo drunk, i could smell the whisky all over her. how she could even remember where i lived being that drunk, was a shock.


so i talked to a mutual amiga of her and asked " wtf is going on with her"   her friend informed me, " wow, you better stay away from her, she dating some narco guy"


told the porteria guys " she comes again, say  i went back to the US"   she showed up again a month later, after that, didnt hear from her again until last year, now shes in the US lol

Narcistic Bitches
https://youtu.be/Bz7IGr3hWog

[buenopues4]

If you give a girl money for sex they understand the transaction and won't come after you later for more (as such anyway, however they may suggest you get together again). But if you're a "nice guy" and give her fifty thousand pesos when she claims to be needy she's hooked like on crack cocaine and will bug you indefinitely. Understandable of course but better to respond lo sento mami pero no puedo...the first time.

[utopiacowboy]

i had an ex in medellin some years past.  dated for about 6 months. then just couldnt deal with all her problems, mostly family related and her drinking.


6 months later, she shows up at my apt at 1 am, drunk. looking for some affection.  then she did it again 3 weeks later, sooooo drunk, i could smell the whisky all over her. how she could even remember where i lived being that drunk, was a shock.


so i talked to a mutual amiga of her and asked " wtf is going on with her"   her friend informed me, " wow, you better stay away from her, she dating some narco guy"


told the porteria guys " she comes again, say  i went back to the US"   she showed up again a month later, after that, didnt hear from her again until last year, now shes in the US lol

Another love story with a happy ending!