Possible bone-headed mistake... One or two?

[Elexpatriado]

https://info.legalzoom.com/can-prenuptial-agreement-voided-26384.html

They vary in every state. I was advised by more than one attorney in my state that it's a useless, even sometimes counterproductive measure.

Not really sure, but I doubt if a prenuptial would exclude you from support obligations outlined by the USCIS, although time would mitigate USCIS obligations, especially if she becomes a US Citizen.

But regardless, prenups can be looked at harshly by judges, who have an awful lot of 'judicial descretion' in deciding how to handle your legal situation.

The 'law' and it's interpretation,  is NOT written in stone.

They can decide you took an unfair advantage of her.

For starters, be sure to have it transcribed in her language and an interpreter present and accounted for, or that prenuptial will easily be rendered worthless if brought forward later.

Prenups dont effect your obligations for child support.

I think this is true for biological or adopted ( through marraige) children.

I agree they are counter productive, as you are requiered to give "Full disclosre" of all your assets before signing.

More complications which a smart.lawyer can screw you with if your wife first language is not
English.

[mudd]

https://info.legalzoom.com/can-prenuptial-agreement-voided-26384.html

They vary in every state. I was advised by more than one attorney in my state that it's a useless, even sometimes counterproductive measure.

Not really sure, but I doubt if a prenuptial would exclude you from support obligations outlined by the USCIS, although time would mitigate USCIS obligations, especially if she becomes a US Citizen.

But regardless, prenups can be looked at harshly by judges, who have an awful lot of 'judicial descretion' in deciding how to handle your legal situation.

The 'law' and it's interpretation,  is NOT written in stone.

They can decide you took an unfair advantage of her.

For starters, be sure to have it transcribed in her language and an interpreter present and accounted for, or that prenuptial will easily be rendered worthless if brought forward later.

actually your better off if she has her own lawyer, that speaks her native language, so she cant say " well was his lawyer and i didnt know what i was signing" or " i was pressured in signing it by his lawyer"

[robert angel]

Are you telling the truth Robert?.4 kids from 4 different dads? That is very  hard to believe. What Type of Beta , simp , cuck loser is this guy anyway?

Four. And her brother lives with them too, free loading. One kid's in college. Each kid looks different--nose, hair, skin tone....

He left a wife and good job with Boeing in Washington state to do contract work here on east coast and take up with this broad.

We were talking about boats and the guy said "I wish I could afford a boat, so I could take the kids out to experience salt fishing, shrimping and the marshes like you."

I thought if I were him and knew her 'style' I'd want to show her the 'salt life' complete with chains and cinder blocks!

He's not a 'swinger' but from what I understand, he's no angel hinself.

Just served as a reality check for us because my wife was instrumental in getting his wife a job and now she's bringing disgrace on the half a dozen or so Filipinas working there.

It's a big company, but privately operated and conservative. The woman, her lover and maybe even the guy's obliviously innocent wife too, are probably all going to get fired.

The nympho works on the warehouse side, her  lover (and his wife) in corporate admin, but when they have a husband and wife both working and one gets in trouble, they can and often do, let both go.

So we have a nympho homewrecker who's not only ruining her own and her kid's lives, but also another family's.

It's not going to end well for anybody.

You'd think for a hundred bucks or so, a drawer full of sex toys and the chick would've been chill, but for people like that, it's more about seduction and what they perceive as power and conquest.

If that was my style, I guess I'd be hooking up with that perfect ten beauty from Seirra Leone, the babe driving the $120,000 S Class Benz,  wearing all designer clothes.

After helping her load an end table into her car and talking, I half jokingly said "You're so beautiful and nice---if I were 25 years younger, I'd ask for your phone number"....Then she said, I'd love to give you my number"---as I walked away, she said: "Hold on-- recite my phone number back to me."

I'd already forgotten,  then had to make myself forget again!

Later over dinner and "How was your day?" time, I let off what happened. My wife thought it was hilarious, and said I should've written down her phone number and introduced her to a younger, single best buddy of mine, who's pretty well off.

But lordy mama, lately anytime I see a late model, pearl white S550, I start to sweat!! Damn she was hot!!!

[Wildstubby]

Robert angel said:

But lordy mama, lately anytime I see a late model, pearl white S550, I start to sweat!! Damn she was hot!!!

Just remind yourself that too much maintenance is required!

[mambocowboy]

Four. And her brother lives with them too, free loading. One kid's in college. Each kid looks different--nose, hair, skin tone....

He left a wife and good job with Boeing in Washington state to do contract work here on east coast and take up with this broad.

We were talking about boats and the guy said "I wish I could afford a boat, so I could take the kids out to experience salt fishing, shrimping and the marshes like you."

I thought if I were him and knew her 'style' I'd want to show her the 'salt life' complete with chains and cinder blocks!

He's not a 'swinger' but from what I understand, he's no angel hinself.

Just served as a reality check for us because my wife was instrumental in getting his wife a job and now she's bringing disgrace on the half a dozen or so Filipinas working there.

It's a big company, but privately operated and conservative. The woman, her lover and maybe even the guy's obliviously innocent wife too, are probably all going to get fired.

The nympho works on the warehouse side, her  lover (and his wife) in corporate admin, but when they have a husband and wife both working and one gets in trouble, they can and often do, let both go.

So we have a nympho homewrecker who's not only ruining her own and her kid's lives, but also another family's.

It's not going to end well for anybody.

You'd think for a hundred bucks or so, a drawer full of sex toys and the chick would've been chill, but for people like that, it's more about seduction and what they perceive as power and conquest.

If that was my style, I guess I'd be hooking up with that perfect ten beauty from Seirra Leone, the babe driving the $120,000 S Class Benz,  wearing all designer clothes.

After helping her load an end table into her car and talking, I half jokingly said "You're so beautiful and nice---if I were 25 years younger, I'd ask for your phone number"....Then she said, I'd love to give you my number"---as I walked away, she said: "Hold on-- recite my phone number back to me."

I'd already forgotten,  then had to make myself forget again!

My wife thought it was hilarious, and said I should've written down her phone number and introduced her to a younger, single best buddy of mine, who's pretty well off.

But lordy mama, lately anytime I see a late model, pearl white S550, I start to sweat!! Damn she was hot!!!

She probably is a nympho. My wife has an attractive 26 year old friend she used to work with who bangs coworkers and bosses wherever she goes. She bangs non coworkers too...I can't imagine her being faithful because she simply loves sexual variety way too much...

[robert angel]

Robert angel said:Just remind yourself that too much maintenance is required!

Yea man. She'd just gotten back from a year in Seirra Leone with her Mom. Her Benz came with their notoriously troublesome, expensive to repair, air suspension. She just let it sit for that year.

I told her the guy who does my Lexus is great, Mercedes certified too and is better than the 'stealership'

I was really schmoozing her, flirting and boy, it worked TOO good.

She was built for speed, one helluva catch. Unfortunately I don't have the gear, the "fishing tackle" to maintain what she probably requires. I'm healthy--after all, they made Viagara from my blood samples (yea, right...) but she would've worn me plumb out in a month or two.

But Mmmmmm......

[Hector_Lavoe]

She probably is a nympho. My wife has an attractive 26 year old friend she used to work with who bangs coworkers and bosses wherever she goes. She bangs non coworkers too...I can't imagine her being faithful because she simply loves sexual variety way too much...

Two comments. The first one is unrelated:

1) I was out at some bars/clubs recently with this 34 year old Latino guy I know here in Los Angeles. The guy is tall, good looking and has a good personality. He approached some Latina on the dance floor and she started laughing. He said, "What is so funny?" She replied, "No, don't you see, I am laughing at YOU."  Entitled bitch.

2) Same guy I mentioned above told me about some chick he went on a date with recently. She is 32, above average in looks but certainly nowhere near smoking hot. Suffice it to say, it came up in conversation that she loves sex and has a rotation of roughly 10 to 15 guys she bangs/dates.   

[Elexpatriado]

Two comments. The first one is unrelated:

1) I was out at some bars/clubs recently with this 34 year old Latino guy I know here in Los Angeles. The guy is tall, good looking and has a good personality. He approached some Latina on the dance floor and she started laughing. He said, "What is so funny?" She replied, "No, don't you see, I am laughing at YOU."  Entitled bitch.

2) Same guy I mentioned above told me about some chick he went on a date with recently. She is 32, above average in looks but certainly nowhere near smoking hot. Suffice it to say, it came up in conversation that she loves sex and has a rotation of roughly 10 to 15 guys she bangs/dates.

Eeewww...I smell STDs...

At last she is honest

[Elexpatriado]

Dont know why we spend so much time taling about the worst women on these sites


The worst gringas, the worst Colombianas, the worst Filipinas..


And the dumbest gringos..


Morbid fscination

[fathertime]

The bad part for guys like me is bringing a woman here from Colombia changes her thinking.  My wife has a constant stream of other latina divorcees telling her she doesn't need a man, especially not a "tacano" like me.  It creates an imbalance of power in the relationship whereby the woman has less to lose by ending the relationship because she knows the system will protect her...

Means preparation for monkey branching..

Always some cuck rich 60 year.old farmer from Montaña tired of shagging sheep that will be willing to spend more on her.

You guys gotta be nuts to take a Colombiana to the US

If you dont like Colombian tax laws take her to some other Latin or 3rd World country.

Depends on the personality of the 2 individuals.   Personally, I'm probably not the right person to eff with for a woman.  I reciprocate in such a way that makes it unworthwhile to behave badly.  It is easy for me to be like that because by nature I enjoy being solo, if anything marriage is unnatural for me, so I'm capable of throwing the dice wildly if the situation warrants...and I have from time to time.    [size=78%] [/size]


As I've gotten older I realize any balance of power only seems to be in the lady's favor.  It isn't, it is completely in the man's favor if cards are played right....but if you have to play cards it is a question if it is worth the headache!     Generally speaking, a woman will find herself in an overall worse situation without the husband/security.  Sure a little alimony and/or child support must be given which is reasonable , but in scheme of things the woman's position isn't easy, especially if the ex-husband makes it difficult, which can be easy to do.  Fear of the unknown, and the expectation that the spouse would be difficult also can play into a woman's decision, but as I said that isn't an ideal situation either.     If I ever permanently parted ways, I'd be ok with paying out because at that point the freedom would probably be worth it, and making money is the least of my concerns.


Fathertime!   

[robert angel]

Dont know why we spend so much time taling about the worst women on these sites


The worst gringas, the worst Colombianas, the worst Filipinas..


And the dumbest gringos..


Morbid fscination

Because they're the favorite subjects here. And besides, there are realistically,  more failures, train wrecks, warnings and other cautionary tales than there are true, positive posts.

I mean, how many guys here make truthful, positive, humorous  posts?

It's a fecking mine field out there and this site if anything, over emphasizes the negative, slamming women (other as being good for sex) as a whole.

While there's certainly some necessity and substance to that mindset, a lot of us here come across as malcontents.

I think some of the guys here would be better off buying a couple of dogs.

[Calipro]

Depends on the personality of the 2 individuals.   Personally, I'm probably not the right person to eff with for a woman.  I reciprocate in such a way that makes it unworthwhile to behave badly.  It is easy for me to be like that because by nature I enjoy being solo, if anything marriage is unnatural for me, so I'm capable of throwing the dice wildly if the situation warrants...and I have from time to time.   


As I've gotten older I realize any balance of power only seems to be in the lady's favor.  It isn't, it is completely in the man's favor if cards are played right....but if you have to play cards it is a question if it is worth the headache!     Generally speaking, a woman will find herself in an overall worse situation without the husband/security.  Sure a little alimony and/or child support must be given which is reasonable , but in scheme of things the woman's position isn't easy, especially if the ex-husband makes it difficult, which can be easy to do.  Fear of the unknown, and the expectation that the spouse would be difficult also can play into a woman's decision, but as I said that isn't an ideal situation either.     If I ever permanently parted ways, I'd be ok with paying out because at that point the freedom would probably be worth it, and making money is the least of my concerns.


Fathertime!

There you have it.


Even happily married guys with children in the U.S. dream of having their freedom back one day.


But in Colombia you can be happily married with children and still have your freedom...I guess you can have it in the USA also but there is much more risk involved.

[mambocowboy]

Two comments. The first one is unrelated:

1) I was out at some bars/clubs recently with this 34 year old Latino guy I know here in Los Angeles. The guy is tall, good looking and has a good personality. He approached some Latina on the dance floor and she started laughing. He said, "What is so funny?" She replied, "No, don't you see, I am laughing at YOU."  Entitled bitch.

2) Same guy I mentioned above told me about some chick he went on a date with recently. She is 32, above average in looks but certainly nowhere near smoking hot. Suffice it to say, it came up in conversation that she loves sex and has a rotation of roughly 10 to 15 guys she bangs/dates.

Totally believable.. How can someone like that ever be monogamous?....

[buenopues4]

Are you telling the truth Robert?.4 kids from 4 different dads? That is very  hard to believe. What Type of Beta , simp , cuck loser is this guy anyway?

Some years ago I had a girlfriend in Cali who was the oldest of six siblings. Same mother but they all had different fathers.

[robert angel]

Some years ago I had a girlfriend in Cali who was the oldest of six siblings. Same mother but they all had different fathers.

Here in the USA, especially in the south and in lower socioeconomic areas, cities, it's pretty common.

Mom's with half a dozen kids from different guys, kids who don't even KNOW who their 'dads' are, are disturbingly common.

So with or without out child support payments, the govt nonetheless keeps them in food stamps (which they can and do swap on the black market for booze and drugs) while living in air conditioned, govt.  subsidized houses, with cable TV provided. Oh, and free health care too. Some of them even have cars.

These are often dysfunctional 'families' where the mom is an alcoholic and drug abuser. The oldest kid is usually the most mentally capable,  but with each  successive kid, the effects of drug abuse and fetal alcohol syndrome are more and more pronounced. These kids typically are never able to graduate and will end up requiring govt support their entire lives, like their parents.

But special ed. or regular ed, the kids usually get free breakfast, lunch and free after school day care until 6PM. The parents are often late to pick their children up at six.

A lot of them are designated "back pack buddies" and local charities load their book bags with food to take home.

I remember waiting on the benches outside school for my 'car rider' sons to be released. I'd see the backpack buddies dumping the cans of veggies and healthy foods into the trash cans, keeping the bag of chips or any fruit bars etc., anything that that was similar in some way to 'junk food.'

At Christmas time, they get free gifts too. A lot of them quickly destroy them, because not being used to getting toys, gifts, not even having respect for themselves, they haven't a clue how to care for anything.

[Isthis4me]

robert angel, too true - I've seen it too. My ex-fiance from years ago turned into a welfare mother. She has had at least six kids by as many men, and they were all taken away from her by the state. She found out she could have kids and the state would pay for them if the father was gone for whatever reason.

The following is a cautionary tale for any readers who develop a serious relationship when they are young. Be careful,  and try to know what is going on around you because it is too easy to get so wrapped up in the relationship that you might miss warning signs, or be too ready to forgive - or dismiss - inappropriate behavior.

This is a true story that happened to me.

When I was fresh out of high school, I met and fell in what I thought was love with a girl who later went on to be my fiancee. It all went fine,  for the first few months of the engagement. However,  I started getting bad vibes from her and our relationship.

She found out that due to my upbringing,  she could hit me or slap me and I would not do a thing to her. I had One-itus bad with her at that time,  and I thought that if I just loved her enough then she would change. Nope!

It even got to the point that one day we were out in her front yard with our friends and she really showed her true colors. I was talking with her brother and some of the other guys when I heard her loudly say to her girlfriends, "Watch this", after which she came up and for no reason, she did a field goal kick on my twins. She wanted to show who had the power in our relationship. Through my inaction at that moment,  and after all of the previous abuse - to which I had said nothing and done nothing - she knew that she would get away with it.

That was a very low point in our relationship,  and it should have ended the matter right there,  but like I said,  I had a serious case of One-itus and  I had put her on a pedestal. Besides, she had a very good knack for making up to me in the bedroom and making me forget about our problems.

Even though we continued our relationship, I was still always in the wrong.  It got to the point where she was accusing me of cheating on her with her sister. I had never even thought about doing that. I idolized my fiancee and did not want to jeapordize the relationship. Looking back now, her constant accusations of that were just her projecting her actions on me. I eventually found out that while I was not cheating, she was.

One Friday night,  towards the end,  I was supposed to take her out on a date. However, I was stuck at work because the boss was supposed to relieve me but he did the no call-no show. About 30 minutes before i was to pick her up, I called her house to inform her of my situation. Her brother answered and I told him what was up. I soon found out where my boss was. The reason he didn't come to work that afternoon was because he was too busy f***ing my fiancee.

That was the point that broke it for me. I must admit that at that point,  I took the low road. I did not end the engagement right then. Over the course of the following week,  I had all kinds of vindictive thoughts running through my head, but I wanted to calmly look at my situation and all of the choices leading up to it.  I came up with reasons why I could not see her on a daily basis, because I did not want to say or do something that I might regret. I knew we were through  but I hadn't told her yet.

On the last night of our engagement, I was sitting out in my driveway just enjoying the night air, when she came over - with her sister. My fiancee had been drinking, and was in rare form. By this point, I was past the point of being mad at her. Honestly, I'm not sure I even cared anymore about her rantings. I just wanted it to be over, but I was going to do it when she was sober. After about an hour, she finally passed out on the lawn.

It was at this point that her sister and I started talking. She told me how sorry she was that my fiancee was treating me this way. I said it was no problem,  and that I going to end the engagement. The sister and I must have really hit it off. I found out that my fiancee had also accused her sister of having a relationship with me, even though the sister had her own boyfriends at the time.

The sister and I commiserated with each other, and before I really stopped to think about what was going on, one thing lead to another and she and I ended up in the backyard, where I cheated on my fiancee.

I broke the engagement the next day and told my fiancee that I knew she had cheated on me. She didn't even try to deny it.  She did not even care and went out on a date that evening, after making sure I knew she was going on one. She was pissed when I smiled and told her to have a good time, and she could tell I didnt care.

The real kicker came 9 months later, when my ex-fiancee had her first kid. She had spent several months telling everyone that I was the father, and while I had my doubts, there was enough of a possibility that it could be mine so I kept my thoughts to myself for the time being. I wasn't going to deny anything until after a blood test. I grew up never knowing my father and I was not going to do that to someone else.

Well,  the wonderful day came and she, her family, and I all went to the hospital to welcome a new life to this world.  While she is in the delivery room, I stayed out in the waiting room with the rest of her family. She delivered a healthy baby, and I realized that a blood test would not be necessary. You see,  she was a full blood daughter of two full blooded mexicans, and I am part Choctaw and the rest of me is anglo. The baby was part African-American. That kind of negated the necessity of a blood test. So i said. C-ya.

That is the end of my tale. I am sorry that it was so long. Believe me,  I did no write this for sympathy. I know it might not belong in this forum, so if the mods need to delete it, then I will not be upset.

I have just been reading a lot in this forum and on SoSuave. In both places I have read where it as states that people wished that others would share their tales.  So I did in the hopes that others might read these words, see my mistakes,  and learn from them.

I'm proud to say that I learned a lot from her.  I learned not to be the doormat that I was with her. I've found that I have too much pride to be a punching bag. There is no excuse for that kind of treatment. She taught me not to settle. The most important lesson she taught me was, that no matter how bad I feared it,  it was actually quite easy to walk away. I just wish that I had learned it earlier in the engagement.

I don't put up with that bs anymore, and I've walked away ftom relationships like that, since then.

Good night all.

[Wildstubby]

Isit4me said:

This is a true story that happened to me.

When I was fresh out of high school, I met and fell in what I thought was love with a girl who later went on to be my fiancee. It all went fine,  for the first few months of the engagement. However,  I started getting bad vibes from her and our relationship.

She found out that due to my upbringing,  she could hit me or slap me and I would not do a thing to her. I had One-itus bad with her at that time,  and I thought that if I just loved her enough then she would change. Nope!

It even got to the point that one day we were out in her front yard with our friends and she really showed her true colors. I was talking with her brother and some of the other guys when I heard her loudly say to her girlfriends, "Watch this", after which she came up and for no reason, she did a field goal kick on my twins. She wanted to show who had the power in our relationship. Through my inaction at that moment,  and after all of the previous abuse - to which I had said nothing and done nothing - she knew that she would get away with it.

That was a very low point in our relationship,  and it should have ended the matter right there,  but like I said,  I had a serious case of One-itus and  I had put her on a pedestal. Besides, she had a very good knack for making up to me in the bedroom and making me forget about our problems.

Even though we continued our relationship, I was still always in the wrong.  It got to the point where she was accusing me of cheating on her with her sister. I had never even thought about doing that. I idolized my fiancee and did not want to jeapordize the relationship. Looking back now, her constant accusations of that were just her projecting her actions on me. I eventually found out that while I was not cheating, she was.

One Friday night,  towards the end,  I was supposed to take her out on a date. However, I was stuck at work because the boss was supposed to relieve me but he did the no call-no show. About 30 minutes before i was to pick her up, I called her house to inform her of my situation. Her brother answered and I told him what was up. I soon found out where my boss was. The reason he didn't come to work that afternoon was because he was too busy f***ing my fiancee.

That was the point that broke it for me. I must admit that at that point,  I took the low road. I did not end the engagement right then. Over the course of the following week,  I had all kinds of vindictive thoughts running through my head, but I wanted to calmly look at my situation and all of the choices leading up to it.  I came up with reasons why I could not see her on a daily basis, because I did not want to say or do something that I might regret. I knew we were through  but I hadn't told her yet.

On the last night of our engagement, I was sitting out in my driveway just enjoying the night air, when she came over - with her sister. My fiancee had been drinking, and was in rare form. By this point, I was past the point of being mad at her. Honestly, I'm not sure I even cared anymore about her rantings. I just wanted it to be over, but I was going to do it when she was sober. After about an hour, she finally passed out on the lawn.

It was at this point that her sister and I started talking. She told me how sorry she was that my fiancee was treating me this way. I said it was no problem,  and that I going to end the engagement. The sister and I must have really hit it off. I found out that my fiancee had also accused her sister of having a relationship with me, even though the sister had her own boyfriends at the time.

The sister and I commiserated with each other, and before I really stopped to think about what was going on, one thing lead to another and she and I ended up in the backyard, where I cheated on my fiancee.

I broke the engagement the next day and told my fiancee that I knew she had cheated on me. She didn't even try to deny it.  She did not even care and went out on a date that evening, after making sure I knew she was going on one. She was pissed when I smiled and told her to have a good time, and she could tell I didnt care.

The real kicker came 9 months later, when my ex-fiancee had her first kid. She had spent several months telling everyone that I was the father, and while I had my doubts, there was enough of a possibility that it could be mine so I kept my thoughts to myself for the time being. I wasn't going to deny anything until after a blood test. I grew up never knowing my father and I was not going to do that to someone else.

Well,  the wonderful day came and she, her family, and I all went to the hospital to welcome a new life to this world.  While she is in the delivery room, I stayed out in the waiting room with the rest of her family. She delivered a healthy baby, and I realized that a blood test would not be necessary. You see,  she was a full blood daughter of two full blooded mexicans, and I am part Choctaw and the rest of me is anglo. The baby was part African-American. That kind of negated the necessity of a blood test. So i said. C-ya.

That is the end of my tale. I am sorry that it was so long. Believe me,  I did no write this for sympathy. I know it might not belong in this forum, so if the mods need to delete it, then I will not be upset.

I have just been reading a lot in this forum and on SoSuave. In both places I have read where it as states that people wished that others would share their tales.  So I did in the hopes that others might read these words, see my mistakes,  and learn from them.

I'm proud to say that I learned a lot from her.  I learned not to be the doormat that I was with her. I've found that I have too much pride to be a punching bag. There is no excuse for that kind of treatment. She taught me not to settle. The most important lesson she taught me was, that no matter how bad I feared it,  it was actually quite easy to walk away. I just wish that I had learned it earlier in the engagement.

I don't put up with that bs anymore, and I've walked away ftom relationships like that, since then.

I guess this song was about you, (and me too many years ago!)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Abrn8aVQ76Q

[Elexpatriado]

robert angel, too true - I've seen it too. My ex-fiance from years ago turned into a welfare mother. She has had at least six kids by as many men, and they were all taken away from her by the state. She found out she could have kids and the state would pay for them if the father was gone for whatever reason.

The following is a cautionary tale for any readers who develop a serious relationship when they are young. Be careful,  and try to know what is going on around you because it is too easy to get so wrapped up in the relationship that you might miss warning signs, or be too ready to forgive - or dismiss - inappropriate behavior.

This is a true story that happened to me.

When I was fresh out of high school, I met and fell in what I thought was love with a girl who later went on to be my fiancee. It all went fine,  for the first few months of the engagement. However,  I started getting bad vibes from her and our relationship.

She found out that due to my upbringing,  she could hit me or slap me and I would not do a thing to her. I had One-itus bad with her at that time,  and I thought that if I just loved her enough then she would change. Nope!

It even got to the point that one day we were out in her front yard with our friends and she really showed her true colors. I was talking with her brother and some of the other guys when I heard her loudly say to her girlfriends, "Watch this", after which she came up and for no reason, she did a field goal kick on my twins. She wanted to show who had the power in our relationship. Through my inaction at that moment,  and after all of the previous abuse - to which I had said nothing and done nothing - she knew that she would get away with it.

That was a very low point in our relationship,  and it should have ended the matter right there,  but like I said,  I had a serious case of One-itus and  I had put her on a pedestal. Besides, she had a very good knack for making up to me in the bedroom and making me forget about our problems.

Even though we continued our relationship, I was still always in the wrong.  It got to the point where she was accusing me of cheating on her with her sister. I had never even thought about doing that. I idolized my fiancee and did not want to jeapordize the relationship. Looking back now, her constant accusations of that were just her projecting her actions on me. I eventually found out that while I was not cheating, she was.

One Friday night,  towards the end,  I was supposed to take her out on a date. However, I was stuck at work because the boss was supposed to relieve me but he did the no call-no show. About 30 minutes before i was to pick her up, I called her house to inform her of my situation. Her brother answered and I told him what was up. I soon found out where my boss was. The reason he didn't come to work that afternoon was because he was too busy f***ing my fiancee.

That was the point that broke it for me. I must admit that at that point,  I took the low road. I did not end the engagement right then. Over the course of the following week,  I had all kinds of vindictive thoughts running through my head, but I wanted to calmly look at my situation and all of the choices leading up to it.  I came up with reasons why I could not see her on a daily basis, because I did not want to say or do something that I might regret. I knew we were through  but I hadn't told her yet.

On the last night of our engagement, I was sitting out in my driveway just enjoying the night air, when she came over - with her sister. My fiancee had been drinking, and was in rare form. By this point, I was past the point of being mad at her. Honestly, I'm not sure I even cared anymore about her rantings. I just wanted it to be over, but I was going to do it when she was sober. After about an hour, she finally passed out on the lawn.

It was at this point that her sister and I started talking. She told me how sorry she was that my fiancee was treating me this way. I said it was no problem,  and that I going to end the engagement. The sister and I must have really hit it off. I found out that my fiancee had also accused her sister of having a relationship with me, even though the sister had her own boyfriends at the time.

The sister and I commiserated with each other, and before I really stopped to think about what was going on, one thing lead to another and she and I ended up in the backyard, where I cheated on my fiancee.

I broke the engagement the next day and told my fiancee that I knew she had cheated on me. She didn't even try to deny it.  She did not even care and went out on a date that evening, after making sure I knew she was going on one. She was pissed when I smiled and told her to have a good time, and she could tell I didnt care.

The real kicker came 9 months later, when my ex-fiancee had her first kid. She had spent several months telling everyone that I was the father, and while I had my doubts, there was enough of a possibility that it could be mine so I kept my thoughts to myself for the time being. I wasn't going to deny anything until after a blood test. I grew up never knowing my father and I was not going to do that to someone else.

Well,  the wonderful day came and she, her family, and I all went to the hospital to welcome a new life to this world.  While she is in the delivery room, I stayed out in the waiting room with the rest of her family. She delivered a healthy baby, and I realized that a blood test would not be necessary. You see,  she was a full blood daughter of two full blooded mexicans, and I am part Choctaw and the rest of me is anglo. The baby was part African-American. That kind of negated the necessity of a blood test. So i said. C-ya.

That is the end of my tale. I am sorry that it was so long. Believe me,  I did no write this for sympathy. I know it might not belong in this forum, so if the mods need to delete it, then I will not be upset.

I have just been reading a lot in this forum and on SoSuave. In both places I have read where it as states that people wished that others would share their tales.  So I did in the hopes that others might read these words, see my mistakes,  and learn from them.

I'm proud to say that I learned a lot from her.  I learned not to be the doormat that I was with her. I've found that I have too much pride to be a punching bag. There is no excuse for that kind of treatment. She taught me not to settle. The most important lesson she taught me was, that no matter how bad I feared it,  it was actually quite easy to walk away. I just wish that I had learned it earlier in the engagement.

I don't put up with that bs anymore, and I've walked away ftom relationships like that, since then.

Good night all.

https://youtu.be/krD4hdGvGHM

[Isthis4me]

That Offspring song was me, twenty years ago. I'd like to think that I have come a long way, since then. I've worked on my self esteem, since then. I will not lower my standards to that kind of treatment, anymore. I decided that the idea of 'The more you suffer - the more it shows you really care' was bs as it can be used as an excuse for narcissists and manipulators.

[Isthis4me]

   I really did not mean to overshare with that tale. The comment that I was responding to made me think and it brought up this example from my past.

Once I started typing it, the words just flowed out without much conscious thought. I almost deleted it,  but as I said, maybe someone will read it and not make the same mistakes I did.

[Elexpatriado]

  I really did not mean to overshare with that tale. The comment that I was responding to made me think and it brought up this example from my past.

Once I started typing it, the words just flowed out without much conscious thought. I almost deleted it,  but as I said, maybe someone will read it and not make the same mistakes I did.

Dont think you are  going into paradise in Colombia. It may seem that way at first.....


Colombia has more than its share of  Narcisists and Manipulators. All you have to do is look at a girls Facebook and Instagram accounts to figure them out. Sometimes, they have hidden facebook and instagram accounts, but you have to do a little research to find them. Go to family and  friends acounts and search their friends..soon you will find her under a different name.


With all due respect, sounds like you grew up on the "wrong side ofthe tracks". You have to realize, that the average Per Capita Income in Colombia ia 20% of the US, so the "wrong side of the track" is a lot bigger than in the US.


Again with all due respect (I am not meaning to offend) , because you are half native american (we call them "First Nations " in Canada), I like to make the comparison that Colombia is like one giant First Nations Reserve (or people from the urban US could say one giant Ghetto or Trailer park). The majority of the people in the country are in this situation.


So many women have grown up being abused, sexualy asaulted by uncles,step fathers,   fathers left, their boyfriends cheated on them (and the women are all so "innocent" ..ja..jaj..jaj), single mothers-more per capita than anywhere in the world. You will be pretty well dealing with this if you deal with women in estratos 1 to 4, and even into the upper estratos.


This of coures leads to a very, very high percentage of narcasistic  sociopathic women.


The good part is, you will have unlimited options to "separate the wheat from the chafe", espescially if you take the time to learn the language and the culture, and remeber the hard lessons you learned when you were younger.


As soon as you find a woman who complains how here ex beat her, how Colombian men are so "machista", they all cheat (as if the women dont) any signs of damage due to abusive upbringing and sordid past and family history ..RUN LIKE HELL..Dont WALK, RUN...I dont care if it takes another 20 years and you still are single, dont put up with it. If it is broke..you cant fix it.


And at your age, you should never even think about dating a single mother in Colombia

[Isthis4me]

Thanks for the advice. Yep, I guess I did grow up on the wrong side of the tracks. Oh well, that is life and I bear no grudges nor was I ever really envious of what others did or had. I will take your post, and others, into consideration before I am able to travel to Colombia.

You did not offend me with your post - Elexpatriado. I have developed a pretty thick skin over the years.  Besides, I am one of those people who, even if offended, can get over it in very short order. I try not to dwell on any hurt or offense that anyone causes me.

I am here to read the posts and learn from all of the other experiences here. I know that just reading what is posted here, will not prepare me for any experiences I might have on my trip, that I must actually 'get on the plane' to truly learn and experiences the ups and downs of Colombia. However, the info posted here might give me some idea of what to expect, and what to watch out for, while I'm there.

I also understand that I will encounter some of the same personalities in women,  that can be found here in the states. After all,  women are women,  no matter what country, or social level  they are from.

Like I said,  in an ealier post, I am not going down there find a wife, right off the bat. If I meet possible prospects,  then that would be great.  However, my main objective is to meet them, spend some time with them,  and maybe see if there is reason to explore any potentials. Beyond that, my secondary objective will be to explore a different culture,  see new sights, and get out of my comfort zone.

If all that comes out of the trip is my second objective. Then that will be perfectly fine with me.

[mambocowboy]

Thanks for the advice. Yep, I guess I did grow up on the wrong side of the tracks. Oh well, that is life and I bear no grudges nor was I ever really envious of what others did or had. I will take your post, and others, into consideration before I am able to travel to Colombia.

You did not offend me with your post - Elexpatriado. I have developed a pretty thick skin over the years.  Besides, I am one of those people who, even if offended, can get over it in very short order. I try not to dwell on any hurt or offense that anyone causes me.

I am here to read the posts and learn from all of the other experiences here. I know that just reading what is posted here, will not prepare me for any experiences I might have on my trip, that I must actually 'get on the plane' to truly learn and experiences the ups and downs of Colombia. However, the info posted here might give me some idea of what to expect, and what to watch out for, while I'm there.

I also understand that I will encounter some of the same personalities in women,  that can be found here in the states. After all,  women are women,  no matter what country, or social level  they are from.

Like I said,  in an ealier post, I am not going down there find a wife, right off the bat. If I meet possible prospects,  then that would be great.  However, my main objective is to meet them, spend some time with them,  and maybe see if there is reason to explore any potentials. Beyond that, my secondary objective will be to explore a different culture,  see new sights, and get out of my comfort zone.

If all that comes out of the trip is my second objective. Then that will be perfectly fine with me.

You have been through alot. Have fun in Colombia.  Don't take the chicas seriously. Make the earn your trust. Don't give it so easily. ...but I imagine you've been burned bad enough that you won't be so trusting...

[Wildstubby]

Isit4me said:

That Offspring song was me, twenty years ago. I'd like to think that I have come a long way, since then. I've worked on my self esteem, since then. I will not lower my standards to that kind of treatment, anymore. I decided that the idea of 'The more you suffer - the more it shows you really care' was bs as it can be used as an excuse for narcissists and manipulators

Ding! Fries are done! Glad you pulled out of the nose dive, (as I also did)! You also saw that song the same way! I went to (post)marriage counseling. The guy I sought out was the same one who treated my ex when she was narcissistic, bipolar, yada yada disorder. He told me that he didn't want me getting hooked up with a woman that had the same personality because the train wreck would be exactly the same! Bare that in mind! Follow what Mambocowboy says. Enjoy your first trip and take it all in with all the senses.

[Researcher]

Thanks for the advice. Yep, I guess I did grow up on the wrong side of the tracks. Oh well, that is life and I bear no grudges nor was I ever really envious of what others did or had. I will take your post, and others, into consideration before I am able to travel to Colombia.

You did not offend me with your post - Elexpatriado. I have developed a pretty thick skin over the years.  Besides, I am one of those people who, even if offended, can get over it in very short order. I try not to dwell on any hurt or offense that anyone causes me.

I am here to read the posts and learn from all of the other experiences here. I know that just reading what is posted here, will not prepare me for any experiences I might have on my trip, that I must actually 'get on the plane' to truly learn and experiences the ups and downs of Colombia. However, the info posted here might give me some idea of what to expect, and what to watch out for, while I'm there.

I also understand that I will encounter some of the same personalities in women,  that can be found here in the states. After all,  women are women,  no matter what country, or social level  they are from.

Like I said,  in an ealier post, I am not going down there find a wife, right off the bat. If I meet possible prospects,  then that would be great.  However, my main objective is to meet them, spend some time with them,  and maybe see if there is reason to explore any potentials. Beyond that, my secondary objective will be to explore a different culture,  see new sights, and get out of my comfort zone.

If all that comes out of the trip is my second objective. Then that will be perfectly fine with me.

The people in Colombia are very friendly. That is a social thing. Some are sincere and some are not. It is best to take your time and let their "real self" come thru. It always happens.