My Journey

[Calipro]

. This bit about hypergamy is for the birds. I'm sitting here typing this in my novia's living room here in Ibague, because she won't let me help her in the kitchen. Including the dishes!

What’s the connection between hypergamy and your women not letting you do the dishes?

[Wildstubby]

Calipro said:

What’s the connection between hypergamy and your women not letting you do the dishes?

In this and other forums it was used to push the so called 'feminist agenda'. Realistically, the term is another word for gold digging. My novia and I are probably in the same 'strata' so there really isn't any gold digging on either side for that matter. From the feminist point, she still insists on waiting on me 'hand and foot.' I don't mind this in the least. But I like to show her that I am not an invalid and I'm willing to help because that was how I was raised.

[Calipro]

Calipro said:In this and other forums it was used to push the so called 'feminist agenda'. Realistically, the term is another word for gold digging. My novia and I are probably in the same 'strata' so there really isn't any gold digging on either side for that matter. From the feminist point, she still insists on waiting on me 'hand and foot.' I don't mind this in the least. But I like to show her that I am not an invalid and I'm willing to help because that was how I was raised.

OK but hypergamy and the feminist view point have nothing in common.


Hypergamy is just simple mate selection where women by a large margin statistically marry up.


Even high earning women tend to marry up. And of the minority of women that marry down....most might be feminists. Jajaja

[Elexpatriado]

OK but hypergamy and the feminist view point have nothing in common.


Hypergamy is just simple mate selection where women by a large margin statistically marry up.


Even high earning women tend to marry up. And of the minority of women that marry down....most might be feminists. Jajaja

Lets get "Red Pilld"  ..what does a so called " higher strata" woman in Colombia pull in.? 2 or 3 millón a month?

Thats like less than a 1000 US a.month.

What side of the railway tracks does that put her in the US?

  I know "professionals" in Colombia, some with ( by Colombian standards) well paying jobs, who although they would NEVER admit it are basically prostitutes.Now this is the extreme of the spectrum, but to say any Colombiana is toally alruisic and only interested in "true love" and has no interest in bettering  life for herself and maybe her  family, is not only naive, but delusional.

Everybody ..especially women..has their agenda. And anyone, especially a guy in  his 50s or 60s that thinks a woman  from a Third World country ( no.matter how old or how many kids she has) is with him for his Hollywood good looks or Chipendale model body is sadly delusional.

And people dont even know the difference between Gold Digger and Hypergamy.

[Elexpatriado]

OK but hypergamy and the feminist view point have nothing in common.


Hypergamy is just simple mate selection where women by a large margin statistically marry up.


Even high earning women tend to marry up. And of the minority of women that marry down....most might be feminists. Jajaja

I wouldnt necesarily say they are feminists. Feminists are usually interested in marrying Up.. or at least someone "equal education wise".

And feminists are the first to deny hypergamy, even though they are influenced by it also

Women who seek guys of a lower status  have the same problem with guys who have "capn save a hoe" complexes.

Usually find some "bad guy" that is a challenge..and want to conque and  "fix".

Or else both the man and thewoman are lunatics..narcisists, sociopaths , borderlines,BPDs...whatever..

[Wildstubby]

Elexpatriado said:

Lets get "Red Pilld"  ..what does a so called " higher strata" woman in Colombia pull in.? 2 or 3 millón a month?

Thats like less than a 1000 US a.month.

What side of the railway tracks does that put her in the US?

  I know "professionals" in Colombia, some with ( by Colombian standards) well paying jobs, who although they would NEVER admit it are basically prostitutes.

Eveybody ..especially women..has their agenda. And anyone, especially a guy in  his 50s or 60s that thinks a woman  from a Third World country ( no.matter how old or how many kids she has) is with him for his Hollywood good looks or Chipendale model body is sadly delusional.

And people dont even know the difference between Gold Digger and Hypergamy.

Comparetively speaking, she is in the upper middle class here in Colombia as I am in the US. The only thing she is moving up on is latitude.

[Elexpatriado]

Elexpatriado said:Comparetively speaking, she is in the upper middle class here in Colombia as I am in the US. The only thing she is moving up on is latitude.

Must be in the top 1% of all female wage earners then..in Colombia..because that is where she would have to be statistacally to.makeas much as a firefighter in the US ($4000 USD or 12 million pesos a month).

I dont know why you dont believe in hypergamy. UC ucked out and got a very sucsessful.wpman with several.kids (a widow).and he knows it exists.

[Elexpatriado]

https://www.seeking.com/hypergamy

https://youtu.be/N7LN14IpVy0

[Calipro]

https://ifstudies.org/blog/better-educated-women-still-prefer-higher-earning-husbands

[Wildstubby]

Elexpatriado said:

Must be in the top 1% of all female wage earners then..in Colombia..because that is where she would have to be statistacally to.makeas much as a firefighter in the US ($4000 USD or 12 million pesos a month).

I dont know why you dont believe in hypergamy. UC ucked out and got a very sucsessful.wpman with several.kids (a widow).and he knows it exists.

You obviously didn't read or understand what I was saying! I didn't say she makes the equivalent of $4k/month. I said she is in the upper middle class in Colombia! Sheesh I wish you would read things! It's a bit€h typing on a tablet!

[Elexpatriado]

Elexpatriado said: You obviously didn't read or understand what I was saying! I didn't say she makes the equivalent of $4k/month. I said she is in the upper middle class in Colombia! Sheesh I wish you would read things! It's a bit€h typing on a tablet!

A pizza hut delivery.man from.Debuque Iowa could make upper Middle Class in Colombia.

And an accountant. Or Lawyer from Colombia would be happy washing díshes or cleaning pools in Long Island at $12 an hour.

I know enough of them.that do just that.

Didnt you read CPs links?

Women, except the dumb young ones who are in the partying "cock carousel "stage, are always looking for a "move Up" economically and are looking for a provider..one way or another. ..especially ones from Colombia ,Philipines, places like that.
Why cant you just accept it? Nobody is saying she is a gold digger ..or doesnt  "love"you.. (whatever that is nowadays)

If you dont believe me try an experiment. Tell your love you were given early retirement on a reduced pension and you wanna shack up with her in Colombia..nobody goes to the US.

See how that goes over.

Anyway you are in way too deep now. Obviously deeply "in love "and willing to do anything..

Taking a whole family from Colombia to the US and resettling everyone in a new life  is not  a simple task to be taken lightly, by any means..financially, physically or emotionally.You can forgot about early retirement.

I actually almost did the same thing myself about 14 years ago.

Personally I think I would prefer to spend  2 years plus frozen in the Antaractic with Ernest Shakleton

Thats ok..we have all been there done that got the t-shirt

And unlike Pavlovs dogs, never seem to.learn

[robert angel]

Anyway you are in way too deep now. Obviously deeply "in love" and willing to do anything...

A bit much there, Elex? Sounds like, speaking about 'too many personal details' that maybe you have some 'inside scoop' on WS?

Look, what this all boils down to, IMO, is "semantics" = interpretation of meaning.   Earlier, a parallel between "Hypergamy" and Darwin's ancient but still germane 'Law/s of 'Natural/Sexual Selection was mentioned.

To me, 'hypergamy' is hype--- it's still the same old sh!t, rephrased basically. Fake news, LOL. Make it whatever color pill you please, you can probably sell it to some people....

Rain, precipitation, drizzle, cloud bursts, downpours....

At least this thread isn't devolving into the many page long thread from years ago here, debating the meaning of 'slut'---that was somewhere between hilarious and insane, if not both.

There are facets, characteristics of male - female relationship selection and each and every one of them can and almost always does, vary in degree. Some elements may or may not be there. Some are quite primal and subconscious, some are more conscious, to the point of being blatant and deliberate, others more veiled, ulterior motives.

Some don't happen, don't begin to grow, for good or bad, for years, especially after if you bring a 3rd world woman to upper North America.

On one end, it could be one person expecting great, torrid sex and the other expecting only cash or other material things for providing that sex.

Some people, male and female alike, will even pay someone just to be seen in their company, out on a date with a person most see as particularly attractive. Escorts. Quid pro quo....

Money for select service/s being rendered.

Towards the other end of the spectrum, both members might expect to live together and in doing so, enjoy greater (broadly speaking) 'quality of life' then what they had as single individuals.

'Companionship', however archaic that might sound to some guys here.

I know to some of you fellas, that sounds like fairy tale, mamby pamby and yes, even I am waiting (but not hastening or hoping for) my good bubble of marital fortune to pop. But except for in the dead and the living dead, hope springs eternal, even if tempered by some skepticism, such as I what I have, deep inside.

My reality is, charmed times I've had in my Forest Gump of a life aside,  the fact remains that I've still managed to screw up just about everything, before rebuilding from the ashes I've burned. But even that kinda luck doesn't go on forever....

I mean how the hell on earth could some bald headed sucker like me, from smack dab in the middle of the middle class, marry two, very hot looking babes, well educated women, each able to earn their own way, OR dump me and move wayyy up the material ladder? First for 14 years, then the second, a MUCH improved and much younger model, for 13 years and to ME, a guy with two young kids at the time? Not to mention a few that I didn't just ' let get away' I chased them away!

Implausible, to put it mildly....

And I don't have no super magic wand hanging between my legs!

"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part"

Well, it's a no brainer to not think that BOTH partners are hoping for the 'better' 'richer' and 'health' parts. It's when the wanting, or worse yet, 'angling' for those three things becomes more for ONE person, when it becomes less of an 'US' thing and more of a 'ME'  thing, that's one way in which the whole ball begins to unravel.

Yes, there's often a material component in there too, and that can be part of a quick bang for a buck, a marriage play on anticipated future assets of the other and so on.

But both hoping for for better times  material wise, is normal too.

Sometimes it just 'happens' incidentally, with out deliberate or malicious intent, as has happened to me.

For example, I can't help that my first and also my second wife, have bought me a ton of things I never asked for, such as Rolex and Omega etc., wrist watches.

Love's just a crazy, hard to figure thing.

It's crazy that with a collection of over forty watches, my wife asked me a few nights ago if I want ANOTHER watch for Christmas! After all, I still have only two arms and wear one watch at a time....So I said "NO honey"--although picking up the lovely watch,  model Citizen BN0195-54E as a "beater" -- as an out in the boat timepiece, has caught my eye---I'm just waiting for it in black titanium, LOL.

But I turned down a yacht and a summer vacation home in the mountains on a rippling trout creek too!

But hey, imported lux watches are my weak spot. True confession, LOL.

And I'll NEVER  try and talk my wife out of buying another pair of shoes! (unless they're butt ass ugly)

But only relationship sado masochists, he they male or female, enter knowingly into a long term relationship without each seeing 'something' besides the material, in the mix about the other person, something/s that they see making their liveS better.

They typically at a hard minimum, hope that in joining their two lives together, that 'one plus one' will miraculously add up to more than two.

And all material things aside, I've seen it happen for my wife and I.

----------------------------------------------------------------

se·man·tics
/səˈman(t)iks/Submit
noun
the branch of linguistics and logic concerned with meaning. There are a number of branches and subbranches of semantics, including formal semantics, which studies the logical aspects of meaning, such as sense, reference, implication, and logical form, lexical semantics, which studies word meanings and word relations, and conceptual semantics, which studies the cognitive structure of meaning.
the meaning of a word, phrase, sentence, or text.
plural noun: semantics
"such quibbling over semantics may seem petty stuff"

Ulterior Motive

Utterior motive/purpose etc
a reason for doing something that you deliberately hide in order to get an advantage for yourself
 He’s just being nice. I don’t think he has any ulterior motives.

[Wildstubby]

Robert, I will spare some electrons by not quoting what you said above, but I couldn't agree more! Like you, I could of have been set up to inherit my 1st fiance father's business, (a private investigator in Marrietta, GA no less!), but came to my senses. As for me, my weakness is old receivers and transmitters. But that's another story. Elex never grasped the comparison that if you put me and my novia together, remove the $$$ signs, were are equal in status. Besides, if the two of us are happy, and that goes for you and your gem, and all the others here with foreign women, then who the hell cares? I mean isn't happiness the true goal? Elex seems to think that all women here in Colombia are 'cara de puta', (his words, not mine). But yet he continues to needlessly 'cast himself upon each sword' on behalf of 'gringo-kind'! Talk about a Masochist! But if that makes him happy, so be it! Just don't paint everyone or every relationship with the same broad brush!

[benjio]

Elex tends to lean towards the pessimistic end when it comes to relationships with Colombian Women but in all honesty I agree with most of his opinions. What I have experienced however, are plenty of exceptions to the rule. There’s nothing wrong with meeting a gorgeous, 22 year old, party girl Colombiana and taking her friends to a disco, getting bottle service, dancing all night then taking her home and letting her drunk f&$@ you until the sun comes up. Some of the best nights of my life I did just that. There are plenty of girls out there that are nothing like that though. Those who are hell bent on making something out of themselves. Will they ever make much money in Colombia? F$&@ NO!!! But their willingness to work and dedicate themselves to building a better life is the characteristic you should always be looking for.

Elex is right!!! There are always ulterior motives when it comes to foreign dating. On both ends. We want a gorgeous piece of a$$ to stick our d!ck$ in but we’re not rich or famous so we have to leave the U.S. to find it. Foreign Women want a man that doesn’t cheat, beat on them, disrespect them and can actually bring the bacon home. If they want the opportunity to make a bit of money themselves that’s just another perk. Somewhere in between all that underhanded self interest though, people really do fall in love. I’ve seen it many times!!

[mambocowboy]

Elex tends to lean towards the pessimistic end when it comes to relationships with Colombian Women but in all honesty I agree with most of his opinions. What I have experienced however, are plenty of exceptions to the rule. There’s nothing wrong with meeting a gorgeous, 22 year old, party girl Colombiana and taking her friends to a disco, getting bottle service, dancing all night then taking her home and letting her drunk f&$@ you until the sun comes up. Some of the best nights of my life I did just that. There are plenty of girls out there that are nothing like that though. Those who are hell bent on making something out of themselves. Will they ever make much money in Colombia? F$&@ NO!!! But their willingness to work and dedicate themselves to building a better life is the characteristic you should always be looking for.

Elex is right!!! There are always ulterior motives when it comes to foreign dating. On both ends. We want a gorgeous piece of a$$ to stick our d!ck$ in but we’re not rich or famous so we have to leave the U.S. to find it. Foreign Women want a man that doesn’t cheat, beat on them, disrespect them and can actually bring the bacon home. If they want the opportunity to make a bit of money themselves that’s just another perk. Somewhere in between all that underhanded self interest though, people really do fall in love. I’ve seen it many times!!

Yes. Unfortunately unless you can spend long periods of time living together before you marry, the true getting to really know and love each other(or not) occurs after marriage,  not before. While I have done well with my wife, I know of others who haven't and whose relationships were clearly cash/visa grabs...

[robert angel]

Yes. Unfortunately unless you can spend long periods of time living together before you marry, the true getting to really know and love each other(or not) occurs after marriage,  not before. While I have done well with my wife, I know of others who haven't and whose relationships were clearly cash/visa grabs...

Facts are, everybody's in it for SOMETHING. It varies from person to person and there's a lot of facets/degrees to it, but nobody in their right mind marries to lessen their quality of life. "For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health" ---that just doesn't carry the weight it used to, and if you don't think so, talk to a lawyer. It's increasingly a disposable world out there boys, and that includes you and me.

And while beauty and material trappings are the subject of attention worldwide, between social media, the entertainment media in general, including TV, movies and advertising, there's no place quite like the USA to entice an impressionable woman into wanting more than you're likely able to provide.

A woman of who looks pretty, but is not used to being treated like a beauty queen, from relatively modest means is almost certainly a better bet than further up or down the beauty, socio-economic economic life ladder.

Take an uneducated, dirt poor barrio girl and put her into a USA 'Desperate Housewives' environment and it's a lot more likely that she'll be, shall we say, 'overly impressed' than some gal from a more 'middle of the road background. A gal with wealth,  super hot looks, used to maids, foriegn cars and swank homes, well, it may be more for love than money initially,  but it may not play too well stateside. Unless you're loaded and even then maybe so all the same, she's quite likely to miss the trappings she left behind.

Ideally, if you want to protect yourself, at the risk of creating a bit of a cold shield, practicing 'catch and release', perhaps even living with a desirable woman, is worth considering, IF you can exercise that option. But don't forget, that in the USA, and if I recall correctly, also in Colombia and most nations; after a while, if you've been under the same roof together for a certain, long enough period of time, you'll be considered to have a 'marriage by common law' and ypu'll likely end up giving some things away.

And they'll probably believe HER more in her country than you when (if) it goes to court.

I used to take a stupid little smirk like satisfaction that other than the Vatican, the Philippines is still the only nation where divorce, whether a  common law or church sanctified marriage, is ILLEGAL. Even an anullment is an expensive, long, protracted process, IF it's granted at all. Tough place for women.And a lot of times, it's the women working to feed the kids, while the guy's gambling away the milk money, smoking Marlboros and drinking all the while. The dead beats strut like roosters over there,

But I took the 'danger step' and married my wife over here. In the midst of a career, it was hard to have it any other way. Yes I have land, a home in both our names in her country, but most of my (technically a lot of it now 'ours') money, retirement, investments etc. and last but not least, the marriage license, is here in the USA.

Actually I set up my pension so if I die first, likely,  she inherits it. If she leaves me, I keep it ALL plus an increase of several hundred dollars a month that I currently pay to ensure she's that she's set for life. "The marriage to a pretty young wife penalty' I call it." But worth every cent so far....We divorce, there's no wife to set up for life, . My Social Security years from now? I keep it all regardless. Other material things are somewhat, but by NO means 100% protecting by a living will/ trust that takes my children into account.

Calipro has probably forgotten more about these strategies than I'll ever know and I'm thankful for him sharing a good bit of that here in 'the main'.

If worse comes to worse, do NOT skimp and get a cheap lawyer. The best lawyers are worth every cent in the long run.  And if it appears inevitable, file, make the first moves before her. It's like Chess, white goes first and the side that goes first has at least a slight advantage. And of course, for better or worse, LOL, remember:

"All is fair in love and war".

But a woman from a modest background, with some education, loyal to her good family ties, but not to the point where their influence  overweighs YOU, who you are, what you have as a man and your autonomy together with her as a couple, is probably a much safer long term set up.

I will forever regret telling a member here, a great fellow with lots of experience abroad and I feel a good heart and brain, to never consider himself out classed, or out of his league regarding marrying woman who came from wealth, prestige and stability in her home country. It didn't go as expected.

At the risk of sounding crude, a  woman who  'over there' might considered to be a 7 or 8 in terms of physical appeal, but if you bring her to the USA, she's gonna be seen as more like  9 or 10.

And she'll come to know it, I don't care if you love in Corn Row, Iowa or NYC.

My own wife, a few times when I really got on her last nerve and she was verbalizing her anger, told me:

"What??--- you don't think I can leave you and find another guy? You don't think I can leave you and support myself??"" ----- I had to suck up that piss n vinegar and reply: "Yes Honey, I know that you could"

No f_cking doubt.

It's not just all the lawyers on TV or all the billboards advertising "Divorce: as little as $100"  that set the virus alive in her brain. It's often as much the friend you and her make, or 'friends of those friends'

We know Filipinas with as many a 5 kids, each from different Dads. They, and even certain ones married for a long time,  will not hesitate to offer their lawyer's cards, explaining how your lovely wife can have things SOOOOO  much better. How she can have a 'makeover' upgrading materially and to a younger, more handsome guy or guyS.

I see women with all these kids at parties, in six inch, come hump me now stiletto heels, fire red wet lipstick and painted faces, driving new cars, looking at my crotch, winking and smiling. Trash, looking for new conquests. They'll probably never remarry, lest they interrupt their 'support payments, alimony and such.

Meanwhile loose (literally) and free, they have enough young stud's phone numbers in their cell phone contacts to call one each day of the month, to wine, dine and hump them until the fillings in their teeth fall out.

It's a jungle out there man---and WE'RE the bananas!!!!

But back to natural,selection, hypergamy,,monkey branching,  whatever you wanna call it, LOL more and more, I think it's better to set things up working more towards the middle,of the spectrum, in terms of her looks and socio-economic economic demographics.

Because you marry her and take her here, their lives are probably gonna improve materially , but she could, with or without that, still miss how good she had it at home and go back. Or totally aside from that, she could change, become jaded and run a perfectly legal 'power play', try and clean you out for at least half of what you have (or whatever lawyer and the system allows) and dump you for a new, more attractive guy and life right here.

But if she liked you as a friend, came to love you as a BF then as a husband, if her head was pretty well screwed on to start and she's not blinded by, not coveting things material then and hopefully not down the road either, you just might have a chance.

And watch who you both socialize with here in the states. It's supposed to be about you and her, an US, not a THEM thing...

So yeah, you just might have a chance...Nothing risked, nothing gained, but be careful what you wish for!!!

[Elexpatriado]

Robert, I will spare some electrons by not quoting what you said above, but I couldn't agree more! Like you, I could of have been set up to inherit my 1st fiance father's business, (a private investigator in Marrietta, GA no less!), but came to my senses. As for me, my weakness is old receivers and transmitters. But that's another story. Elex never grasped the comparison that if you put me and my novia together, remove the $$$ signs, were are equal in status. Besides, if the two of us are happy, and that goes for you and your gem, and all the others here with foreign women, then who the hell cares? I mean isn't happiness the true goal? Elex seems to think that all women here in Colombia are 'cara de puta', (his words, not mine). But yet he continues to needlessly 'cast himself upon each sword' on behalf of 'gringo-kind'! Talk about a Masochist! But if that makes him happy, so be it! Just don't paint everyone or every relationship with the same broad brush!

Forget " cara de puta" crap you keep repeating over and over

And forgot painting everyone with the same brush. Yes everyone has their  own ulterir  motives.

You are cherry picking my words. Sounds like a broken   record..an NPC

The three points I am.making and others are making as well are;

1. Everyone has their own ulterior motives for getting hooked Up with someone on a long term.basis..that go beyond "Love" allthough "Love" may come in the end.

2. I think you are way too naive about bringing 3 peoole to North América from a foreign culture and are downplaying the things you will have to go through, the costs, responsibilities and  risks. I think you are truly " in love" in your own.mind , are in too deep (we have all been through it before) and I trully wish you the best.
However, I hope that anyone in the future going to Philippines or Colombia or whatever, no matter what age, please take your time and measure twice  , dont be desperate and avoid single mothers,espescially if you plan too relocate them.to the US.even if there is chemisrtry, not because they may be a bad person, but because you are setting yourself up for 2 or 3 times tve difficulty and hassle. You will have to.be responsable to ICE  and immigration  etc. for 2 or 3 times the people, you will be financially responsible for 2 or 3 times the people (whether it works out or not). You will be responsable for the happiness of 2 or 3.times the people.For some people this will be 2 or 3 times the challenge..and they will.love it.
But not everyone will feel the same and have wild sucess like UC.Believe me, he is an aberation.Getting desperate and settling for anyone because you want to find someone before you are "old and grey" can make you make bad decisions.
 

3.I think Benjio and Mama made the.point of people have to live together before you really know someone. I am.going through that process again right now now. I would highly recomend people take a léase of absense and live with your prospective mate.in her home country at léast 6. months before dragging her back to the US. Going down for a few weeks vacacation.every now and then doesnt work.

[Elexpatriado]

Ideally, if you want to protect yourself, at the risk of creating a bit of a cold shield, practicing 'catch and release', perhaps even living with a desirable woman, is worth considering, IF you can exercise that option. But don't forget, that in the USA, and if I recall correctly, also in Colombia and most nations; after a while, if you've ...etc.

Man you sure write a lot.

They point is of you have no assets in Colombia and all your assets in the US or Canadá you have nothing to worry about.

I am sure I mentioned this before..I am still " married" on paper to a Colombiana ..All my assets are in Canada..I have nothing to worry about..
Nothing has happened in 6 years ..and nothing will.ever happen.
I am.living with a girl.now and have no worries.

I was with an abusive gold digger lawyer for  awhile and has had no interest in.marrying me because she knew my.money was in Canada and there ws no way she could get her hands on.it..

Same goes with DIAN , kidnappers,.maids, other parasites.

They leave you alone if you have nothing in Colombia.They go after the low hanging fruit.

[utopiacowboy]

But not everyone will feel the same and have wild sucess like UC.Believe me, he is an aberation.Getting desperate and settling for anyone because you want to find someone before you are "old and grey" can make you make bad decisions.

Now that was amusing. Yes, I am an aberration. Last night my little half Korean grandson was nestled between his father and me while we read him books and he was the happiest little guy in the world. It doesn't get any better than that.

[Elexpatriado]

An interesting article...
https://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/14050/legal_matters/obligation_of_support_for_mail_order_brides_and_their_children.html

[robert angel]

An interesting article...
https://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/14050/legal_matters/obligation_of_support_for_mail_order_brides_and_their_children.html

.

While I think most of us possibly entering into such a situation know the 'general letter of the law'--namely knowing generally the obligations involved here, 12 years old or not, this is a good article. It should be 'required reading'. While the extent to which these obligations are enforced can vary, they can even be more harsh regarding support of her children from prior relationships, children who've been brought to the USA.

As in so many judicial proceedings, judges are allowed a suprisingly wide breadth of "judicial descretion" and can actually issue a court order, requiring the petitioner of the woman to pay for the support of the children, who are not even the guy's biological children. Bizarre yes, but it happens, even in cases where all the parties involved are USA born and raised., but the 'step kid's' natural father is a no show dead beat.

Yes, you need to be pretty sure you're entering into a realistically sound 'good faith' situation, because if it falls apart, the reprecussions can be severe.

All that said, although I've been through the whole birth to adulthood thing, raising my own children, before, and insanely enough even sometimes still, I think about taking in a kid or two and raising them. I sort of feel I owe it to the world for putting up with all the crap I made them deal with. I also think it would be very rewarding..

But with my younger son starting grad school in 2020 and me not getting any younger, I'd hate to be in my late 70s, with adopted kids still in school, me retired but not able to travel and do what I want. Plus, it'd be weird for the kids to have
a Dad as old as their friend's Grandparents.

As with so many things, you really need to know what you're potentially getting into, BEFORE you're in it and legally obligated....

[Calipro]

I would highly recomend people take a léase of absense and live with your prospective mate.in her home country at léast 6. months before dragging her back to the US. Going down for a few weeks vacacation.every now and then doesnt work.

I don't know that living with a chick 6 months in Colombia before bringing her to the U.S. will do any good at all.


In the U.S. a chick can marry you, have your children divorce you and take half the marital assets and get state enforced child support. Then actually have a decent shot at marrying another guy that makes as much or more than you did...so he take care of her.


You could tell the coldest gold digging bitch in Colombia that story and she would shake her head in disbelief....But that is the norm here in America.


How is it even possible to prepare your average Colombiana for the astronomical increase in her marketability here.


Just hedge your bets and protect your assets as much as possible and just bring her here as fast as you can....if it doesn't work out....go back and get another one until it does.

[Elexpatriado]

I don't know that living with a chick 6 months in Colombia before bringing her to the U.S. will do any good at all.


In the U.S. a chick can marry you, have your children divorce you and take half the marital assets and get state enforced child support. Then actually have a decent shot at marrying another guy that makes as much or more than you did...so he take care of her.


You could tell the coldest gold digging bitch in Colombia that story and she would shake her head in disbelief....But that is the norm here in America.


How is it even possible to prepare your average Colombiana for the astronomical increase in her marketability here.


Just hedge your bets and protect your assets as much as possible and just bring her here as fast as you can....if it doesn't work out....go back and get another one until it does.

In reality , in most states , province countries or other jurisdictions, they would be entitled to only  half of your assets accumulated after the date of the marriage...not assets gained before.

However the judge  (and or if she is on welfare , the federal authouirities) would almost certainly se are her alimony and Child support based :- on income. In the case of child support ( for your own biological children or others you have sponsored) you would be liable whether you were protected by a prenuptial or had your assets and income  in a trust, or under the name of a relative, allthough in the latter 2 cases it might make it more difficult for her to get  her hands  on the money..but if she was astute enough she eventually  could.

Having said that, there are several guys on this site (yourself included I believe and  severai others who will remain unmentioned) and guys who I have met in real life who have  imported Colombianas, it didnt work out , and the financial fall out was not catastrophic. This included one guy who importef a woman with 2 kids.The reasons why they were not financially drained varied..the woman went back to Colombia before she got a green card, she ended up with some other sucker, she was too dumb or lazy (or even "rightious" and "independent") to pursue her "rights , etc. , etc.

However, other guys "luck" does not detract from the potential risks one takes by importing a foreign bride, espescially if you include her children in the package.

I still believe living together for 6 Months in her own country  is better than just bringing her over "as quick as possible" at léast you can determine if you are really compatible and if she is the "loyal type " like Mamá, UC , Robert and others ended Up with.

However, what is by far the best solution and exposes you to the least risks, is to retire or work remotely in her country, or another country close ( say Chile or Ecuador in the case of Colombia or Hong Kong or Japan in the case of Philipines) .keep your assets in North America , bring her to US only on a visitors visa NEVER get a resident visa for her.

This trumps any Prenuptial or other idea that could be concocted by the sharpest Philedelfia Lawyer every time.