Returns to the motherland

[Montrealer]

More a question for those that are married or have been married to women from SA.

How often do they visit home and for how long?  I have talked with my wife about this a few times, and she likes my conclusion.  I figure 2 trips a year, one in summer and another at Christmas, back to Colombia for about 2-4 weeks each.  And allowing us to take 1-2 couples vacation together at least per year.  I was pretty sure this was reasonable, but then I started thinking about my first wife from Mexico, and how she went down south about 4-5 times a year.

For me, I have no problem going back to Colombia when she wants to see her family and would never stop her, even if it was 10 times a year (okay, maybe an exaggeration).  But she is very frugal and I know she would never ask me as she knows that each trip south costs about $1200 CDN per person.

I'm wondering if there are any not-so-obvious signs that I should be on the lookout for?  How often your wives return for visits and if she's satisfied with it?  And do you go with her, although I wouldn't like my wife travel alone?  Also, if you guys can share any home-sick experiences that you had to deal with and maybe some tips on how to handle them.

[Chris F]

My Peruvian wife has been here a year now and does not get homesick. She stays in touch with her family  a few days a week as well as talk to her friends from Peru on the internet. She has not gone back home yet but we are planning our first trip back to Peru in December.

[Red Clay]

My Peruvian wife also has not had a homesickness problem in our 5 years of marriage. We go once per year, twice max. We stay 1 1/2 or 2 weeks each trip. We talk to her family at least once per week using webcams mostly, sometimes telephone and email. The webcam has made a big difference in her ability to feel closer to them.

[Nicks]

My wife NEVER lets me go home!!

Just kidding, i went back home to sweden in 2002 last time, and before that was 1998. I dont go back so often because i dont enjoy being in sweden, too damn expensive.

One of the reasons we decided to live in panama was that if we lived in sweden going more than once a year to panama to visit her family would be impossible, too expensive.

I think, that 1-2 a year is ok if the wife wants to go home. If its more than that, maybe you should consider moving to her country, you save a lot of money in traveling.

nicks

[Joeylikey]

My wife has been here for about 4 months now. She doesn't really miss her family that much. She talks with them a lot on the telephone. Those calling cards aren't they great. She will be going back to Cali in December. She is thinking  about going for a month or a month and a half. I have to work but that's okay with me. It will give me time to scratch myself and watch more sports.

[Houndog]

This is a very good subject. And one many guys don't think of in advance. I hate to generalize, but in this case it's probably appropriate because most Colombianas for sure, and likely most Latinas from SOTB are "very close to their families" and "require" a visit or two per year (unless you want major trouble at home) to be happy.

Many guys don't budget for this, but it's actually part of their culture, and the "Family Values" part of their makeup that attracts us to them. I read somewhere recently that most Latinas/Hispanics from SOTB have closer relationships with 3rd & 4th cousins than many Americans have with their brothers and sisters and I would say that this is generally true from my experiences.

HD

[Montrealer]

I read somewhere recently that most Latinas/Hispanics from SOTB have closer relationships with 3rd & 4th cousins than many Americans have with their brothers and sisters and I would say that this is generally true from my experiences.

This is true with my wife.  She spends more time with her step-cousins 2nd removed than I spend with my own brother.

I think the reason for it, is because the North American culture pushes the kids out the door ASAP, or the kids rush out the door ASAP.  Whereas, in Latin America, the children generally stay at home until married, thusfore creating a stronger bond.  Another reason could be financial.  In NA, we are taught to be financially independant from youth, but since there is so much poverty in SA, that it is important for families to stay close as a safety blanket.