How often are Latinas content with staying abroad?

[collide]

Oh hi, i'm new here.

So it's pretty well known that in certain countries like Colombia women are eager to move to North America for better opportunities. Does their opinion stay the same when they actually settle into a new country with their husband? I ask because Latinas are generally very close with family. I wonder if they would be able to cope with only being able to fly back home annually.

I was in Japan for the last 3 years and while I loved the women there, very few would ever consider living abroad permanently. Japan is just too safe and too rich to make anyone consider differently. For that reason, i've been thinking of other countries to visit. Colombia in particular caught my interest.

Can anyone share experiences? Or even 2nd hand knowledge.

[bcc_1_2]

Japan is just too safe and too rich to make anyone consider differently.

Pretty sure folks from here are actually married to Japanese women but just the same you bring up a valid point on economics. Men meet women abroad from all over the world (rich,poor, and everything in between) and end up getting married. Everyone's options will vary based on the women interested in dating them. 

Does your odds improve as income levels go down? I suppose they do aside from cultural barriers you might find in other parts of the world. Are women from Colombia any more eager than women from Nicaragua as an example? I would say no. But eagerness is just one of many factors when selecting a country.

[collide]

I don't doubt that you can bring Japanese girls overseas, just pointing out that it's not extremely common. I had two Japanese girls come to my country because they were interested in learning English. They both intended to stay for a year but felt 6 months was enough and cut it short.

It isn't just about economics, either. For one, Asia is far away. That means less trips back and forth if you don't have the money or the stamina of sitting on a 14 hour flight. The huge thing is language, I'm blown away when a Latina can speak great English when they've only studied for a year. It would take a Japanese girl at least 4 years to reach that level of language ability.

These are a few reasons why I became more interested in South America. I'm still on the fence about my next destination, but I seem to be leaning more towards South America anyways.

[whitey]

So it's pretty well known that in certain countries like Colombia women are eager to move to North America for better opportunities.

Welcome to the board, collide.  A lot of questionable assumptions and stereotypes in your questions and statements.  Here's my take for what it's worth:


If the woman is escaping from something, has few ties to her country (friends, family), is poor or for some other reason lacks opportunities, or is just adventurous and wants to see the world ... she will be more eager to leave Colombia.


The vast majority of Colombian women would prefer to stay in Colombia and have you move there, if that were an option ... however, many will move for love.


My wife was educated, had a good job, lot's of friends and family ... she was not seeking to leave the country and would have preferred me to move (that was never an option), but she was willing to move for love.

Does their opinion stay the same when they actually settle into a new country with their husband?

Every woman is of course different, so there is no real way to predict this.  The best you can do is look for indications in her personality and in her past experiences that would tend to indicate some adaptability and independence.

I ask because Latinas are generally very close with family. I wonder if they would be able to cope with only being able to fly back home annually.

I would guess that most women would not be able to make an annual flight back home for many reasons (money, responsibilities like work or children, other priorities).  In our case, we are fortunate to be able to make an annual trip.


I know many couples in my home town where both are Colombian, and they often do not visit "home" for years.


Anyhow, this is my take ... other guys have other experiences ... keep researching and asking questions ... but most importantly ... get on a plane and just do it!  You'll never know until you do.

[Researcher]

Excellent post as usual Whitey. I think it is difficult to generalize such things. Yes, it is tough to leave one's family and friends to live in another country. I did it myself for a job and it isn't easy. My wife has done great. Sh did have tough times as expected but she is emotionally mature and I have done what I could to help her. I think, generally speaking,it is tough for the woman but if she is in love and not just trying to escape her country she will do what it takes. If the guy truly loves her then he will also do what he can to help her.

[Elexpatriado]

Anyway, Why do you want a women who is so poor she has belly worms and is willing to have sex with you for a ham sandwich? If shes dirt poor like that , or wants to get to the US to better herself economically or get a visa, you are with her for the wrong reasons. If shes the least bit good lookin shes gonna high-tail it first time she meets a homeboy who looks and dresses like Daddy yankee and drives a big black SUV or a corvette the bank owns..
 
Better to stay in Japan and find a nice girl, she falls in love with you- for you, and she'll follow you to your home country eventually. Same applies with Colombia- better to get someone not desparate- if you ever plan to have a real serious relacion. Most of them only want to go to overseas if they already have family or friends (aka- old Novios) there, or they are so greedy , desperate , or have alterior motives- they are willing to temporarily break thier family ties. Family is extremely important in Colombia and latin America in general.
 
Don't lower your standards..it maybe too late for an old fart like me, but Ima warnin' you youngsters out there..

[Bob_S]

[size=78%]I was in Japan for the last 3 years and while I loved the women there, very few would ever consider living abroad permanently. Japan is just too safe and too rich to make anyone consider differently. For that reason, i've been thinking of other countries to visit. Colombia in particular caught my interest.[/size]
Can anyone share experiences? Or even 2nd hand knowledge.

Ultimately there's a very small percentage of any demographic willing to marry outside their own local pool for comfort reasons.  What you are searching for is a very rare individual within any given country.  And yes Japanese women do have a great life with little incentive on the surface to want to relocate, but there is one driving force that inspires thousands of j-girls to seek a foreign husband: the thought of being married to a Japanese man.  You will never be able to out-bid a salaryman, so you do need to bring something unique to the equation that a j-girl cannot find at home.


And here's the trick: that's the same where ever you go in the world to wife hunt.  Sure, you can find some desperate third world village girl who'll marry you to get out of her situation.  But when you bring her home, are you at the top of the food chain locally in you town?  If not, expect her to be ready to trade up ASAP.  The guys and gals on this forum who are successfully married found someone who really in the big scheme of things didn't need them.  Within their own countries, they were established and comfortable with their lives.  Don't look for someone who needs you, look for someone who wants you.


Though 3 years in Japan and you encountered no husband hunters?  How far out in inaka were you?  And what were you doing all that time?  If you were playing the field and having fun with bored lonely housewives, you may have built yourself up a reputation and poisoned the well, as it were.

[Researcher]

Anyway, Why do you want a women who is so poor she has belly worms and is willing to have sex with you for a ham sandwich? If shes dirt poor like that , or wants to get to the US to better herself economically or get a visa, you are with her for the wrong reasons. If shes the least bit good lookin shes gonna high-tail it first time she meets a homeboy who looks and dresses like Daddy yankee and drives a big black SUV or a corvette the bank owns..
 
Better to stay in Japan and find a nice girl, she falls in love with you- for you, and she'll follow you to your home country eventually. Same applies with Colombia- better to get someone not desparate- if you ever plan to have a real serious relacion. Most of them only want to go to overseas if they already have family or friends (aka- old Novios) there, or they are so greedy , desperate , or have alterior motives- they are willing to temporarily break thier family ties. Family is extremely important in Colombia and latin America in general.
 
Don't lower your standards..it maybe too late for an old fart like me, but Ima warnin' you youngsters out there..

Think in "black and white" much? You are assuming that all poor women are not capable of falling in love with someone and that a well off woman doesn't have bad motives.....tsk,tsk,tsk...... if a guy is a real rube the chances are great that he will get taken for a ride. There is no magic formula for success. You have to use good judgement and hope for the best. Nothing is 100% but using one's noggin is required.

[Elexpatriado]

The idea is to get have someone who falls in love with you who does not have a hidden agenda- and is in it for you- not for plata, a house, a car, visa, a better life, or to send money home to the family....

Think in "black and white" much? You are assuming that all poor women are not capable of falling in love with someone and that a well off woman doesn't have bad motives.....tsk,tsk,tsk...... if a guy is a real rube the chances are great that he will get taken for a ride. There is no magic formula for success. You have to use good judgement and hope for the best. Nothing is 100% but using one's noggin is required.

[Researcher]

The idea is to get have someone who falls in love with you who does not have a hidden agenda- and is in it for you- not for plata, a house, a car, visa, a better life, or to send money home to the family....

True. They can be poor as well as not poor. It takes experience in dating to develop a sense of this.;

[collide]

I think you are polarizing the situation too much.

I originally asked if girls from South America would be content with living in North America. I'm not looking for a girl desperate to get out, i'm looking for someone - if given the right circumstances - would be accepting to live somewhere new.

In Japan I did not see this. I had some long term girlfriends and they would not even entertain the idea of leaving the country. A lot of times the reason was they thought they could never become fluent enough in English. It's the same reason why I never stayed permanently in Japan, it would take ages to become fully fluent if I wanted to do my regular profession there.

Which brings me back to Latinas. English and Spanish are much closer than English and Japanese. It's like night and day.

[collide]

Though 3 years in Japan and you encountered no husband hunters?  How far out in inaka were you?  And what were you doing all that time?  If you were playing the field and having fun with bored lonely housewives, you may have built yourself up a reputation and poisoned the well, as it were.

I was teaching English which is one of the reasons I didn't want to stay. I wanted to continue my normal job at home because I saw more opportunity to progress in my career.

I mostly lived in Hokkaido and there were two girls who wanted to get married but only under the condition that I stay in Japan.

[robert angel]

The idea is to get have someone who falls in love with you who does not have a hidden agenda- and is in it for you- not for plata, a house, a car, visa, a better life, or to send money home to the family....

Great 'idea'!! I think many Filipinas move abroad and marry for love, but have a hope that they'll be able to work and send money home to help out their poor families. That takes a visa typically. I think most will be upfront about that and anybody who knows much about Filipinas will expect as much. I'd guess a lot of Colombianas want to help the folks back home too.
 
They also will probably need a car to get to and from work and want to come home to a home--be it a house, trailer, apt. or condo, something that has their 'women's touch' about it. Myself, I didn't mind month old towels, no curtains, the paper plates, pizza and Chinese takeout boxes all over or Pop Tarts for breakfast every morning, but I'll 'roll with it' and except my current 'upgraded' situation. (as long as she cooks and washes the dishes)
 
I think all of us who marry, marry hoping it brings a better life. If we don't, were nuts. I think a big part of what you're saying Elexpatriado, is that we need to be careful about women for whom the things we mentioned above become primary motives or are their main motives for staying here, calculated before they even wed.  Sometimes the same becomes the case after they've been in the USA a while, becoming their main motives for staying here with some guy, husband they've turned into a tool.
 
Any which way, hopefully we pick a gal and get to know her well enough to minimize such risks. If the cards are a certain way, you don't even have to marry, especially if you keep it down there. Easier said than done!

[Bob_S]

I was teaching English which is one of the reasons I didn't want to stay. I wanted to continue my normal job at home because I saw more opportunity to progress in my career.
I mostly lived in Hokkaido and there were two girls who wanted to get married but only under the condition that I stay in Japan.

Sounds like you were stuck on JET way out in the boonies.  Rural girls are the same everywhere, too close to their extended family and afraid of the big wide world.  I've known cases here in the states where a girl turned down a proposal from a good guy or a well paid job offer because it would take them out of state.  I did the eikaiwa thing in the Kanto region and there were plenty of girls open to the idea of marriage to a foreigner and moving away.  I think the closer you are to a big cosmopolitan city, the better chances of finding someone who is comfortable with the idea of marriage to a foreigner and relocating, especially if they've done any studying abroad.  Among my wife's friends and acquaintances here, a common theme is that many were from around Tokyo, and many either studied abroad for college (not just a few months English school) or had jobs that required them to travel.  Among them, my wife is an oddity in that she is from a small rural inaka Yamaguchi town, but she was inspired to move as far away as possible to get away from small town politics and extended family drama.


If you are turning your focus to Latin America, you're going to want to look for those same qualities you would in a spouse from anywhere that would make her the best possible match for you.  She should be college educated, preferably with a (regular non-sex industry) job that often brings her into contact with foreigners so she knows we aren't all monsters, and maybe has done some travel.  The visa paperwork process to bring a spouse or fiancé over can be daunting and intimidating, so she should be understanding of bureaucratic processes as done without bribes and baksheesh.


And you're right about the language barrier issue.  Studies have shown that English <-> Japanese is one of the hardest transitions, while English <-> Spanish is one of the easiest because English is so heavily influenced by Latin-based languages, especially in terms of vocabulary.  Again that means finding preferably a college educated gal who maybe has already studied some English or is easy to take to learning something new.  Some guys here have found sweet simple but low educated girls, but then struggled with language issues because they simply were not used to studying anything for something meaningful in their life.  So just a note: a well educated Latina should be able to take to English like a duck to water.