Trip to meet a Brasileira....

[V_Man]

single mothers...i wouldn't write them off completely either..not ideal, but it is best to keep an open mind...things happen..some of those ladies are very decent people and would probably make superb wives for the right man!


Fathertime!

That may or may not be the case. However if you are going to bring her to your country then that means you intend to take a child away from a father. The mother is unlikely to tell you the true story about how the father feels about that. Quite apart from what the father may think about it and do to prevent it, there is the child's love and bond for his/her father to consider. Even in the unlikely event you don't have those issues there is another person to adapt and blend into a new family. The whole dynamic is beset with problems over and above all the 'normal' multi-cultural, multi-lingual, long distance issues.
You can do what ever you like but there are steps you can take to increase your odds of a good outcome.

[fathertime]

  However if you are going to bring her to your country then that means you intend to take a child away from a father. 

Obviously this is not always true.  There are quite a few cases where the father is deceased or completely out of the picture.  If I were in the position where I might fall for a woman with a kid, I'd try to quickly ascertain what the father's status is in the child's life.  If I were to conclude that I was taking a child away from his/her father, then I would have to move on to another woman.  As a father myself, I would be irate if some other man were to put distance between me and my children.  I would not let it happen. 


Overall if a person wants to keep the process simpler it is easier to find a woman without children,  but I can totally understand how a man might fall for a lady that already has a child and I don't even think it should be discouraged, so long as the natural born father is not strong-armed when he is a real part of his child's life.  It just should be understood that the whole process will be more challenging, but some people don't see an extra challenge as being something to shy away from.  If I recall that man David (the guy who wrote a book) brought a lady with her child here and seems to be doing real well with it and there are quite a few other examples.


Fathertime! 

[beulah]

Being a beginner at getting to know the women a long way from home, I'd like to keep my options all available.  I could envision finding a woman that has already been married with a child.  If I find the child to be somebody I could work with and hopefully grow attached to, I would not let that spoil an otherwise good relationship.  I'm not too old to start afresh with children.

[SkyNorth]

WOVO...World Organization of Volcano Observatories

[michaelb]

WOVO...World Organization of Volcano Observatories

Write One Visit One

[SkyNorth]

Why ONE ?

[InnocentVixen]

perhaps because one is all it takes? specially if she happens to be THE one or at the very least A good one...

[Ray]

perhaps because one is all it takes? specially if she happens to be THE one or at the very least A good one...

Agreed!   
 
 
 
Ray
 
 
 
 

[SkyNorth]

Not True...according to Science.  This is someone elses research not mine.
 
How many people to find your Soul-Mate?
 
While this seems like the hardest question of all, it was always                the easiest. The answer is 23. Well at least 23 to have a decent                shot; you know, at least a 50/50 chance. While this number may                seem extremely small to you, the producers of all the reality TV                shows already know this fact. That’s why the Bachelor and                Bachelorette of reality TV always start off with 25 people to pick                from (they rounded 23 to 25), because they want at least an even                money shot at true love. Why 23? Simple. It’s based on an                old math puzzle called “The Birthday Paradox” which                asks, “How many people do you have to put in a room before                you have a 50/50 chance that two of them will have the same birthday?” The                answer is 23. All of you non-mathematicians can scroll to the                bottom of this article to read the explanation of “The Birthday                Paradox.”

[SkyNorth]

W23V23

[Ricardo1]

I just read the following article  from which I quote an excerpt below:  (sorry about the long quote)
"  You could walk right into hell for love but at least you wouldn't say you  haven't been warned about the heat."
Read more at http://www.infobarrel.com/Why_You_Should_Never_Marry_a_Woman_With_Children#kFq8SUCz33wfOOfJ.99
[font=]Insecure[/font][font=]:  If you are insecure about yourself, you will be better off falling in love with  someone else. There is always a bit of you and them when you get married to a  woman who already has children from a previous relationship. You will never be  able to replace that special bond that the children have forged with their  mother before your arrival. As far as you are concerned, it will always be you  and them. This feeling will even be more evident when troubles arise. As in any  marriage problems do occur and yours wouldn't be an  exception.[/font]
[font=]Discipline[/font][font=]:  No matter how well you get on with your stepchildren, there will come a time  when you will have to discipline them. The chances are that you will disagree  with your wife about what will be the appropriate way to discipline "her"  children. Yes you are helping to raise them but they are still her children. The  strange thing about this is that time doesn't erode that  relationship.[/font]
[font=]Not  my father[/font][font=]:  Children can be evil and will always put you to the test. They tend to find ways  to hurt you when you least expect it. The words, you are not my father is  something that will come back to hurt you. Of course you are aware that you are  not their father. However, you will still be caught unawares when your  stepchildren utter those words. You would think just because you have helped to  raise them would give you a license to act, don't be fooled. Even birth parents  struggle with children, why do you think you should be an exception? What can  you do to avoid your stepchildren uttering those words? Don't get married to  their mother. That is the only solution to the problem[/font][font=]Permissive  mother[/font][font=]:  If you are unfortunate enough to fall in love with a mother that is very  permissive, there will be constant tension in your marriage. You will feel  irritated by some of the things that you might not be used to, but you will be  powerless to change them. Raising your own children can be a tough challenge.  Children do put strain on marriages. If you now add the tension of raising  children that have been educated by their permissive mother, you will have a big  issue to deal with. Emotions generally run high when it comes to children. Some  mothers just can't discipline their children and you will not be allowed to  either. [/font]
[font=]Comparison[/font][font=]:  Your stepchildren will always compare you to their father. At times, the  comparison will be unfavorable. Their father might earn more than you and used  to provide more comfortable surroundings. You will have to deal with the feeling  of competing against someone that you hardly know. You could scream at them and  say "if you are not happy here, then, go and live with him #*x%$ …". That will  make you feel good because you would have let off steam. However, it would not  solve the problem.[/font]
[font=]Older  Children[/font][font=]:  A woman with older children will still have contact with her children. Older  children who live away from home do provide some breathing space. Nevertheless,  you are not scot free or home and dry, there are still some challenges. If your  wife would like to see more of her grandchildren but her children are not having  any of that. It can lead to tension and at times you will have to play the  middle man. [/font][font=]Inheritance[/font][font=]:  What belongs to your wife might not necessarily belong to you. Her children will  have a lot to say in the matter.  [/font]You  will have to just be contented with love. That is strange because you would have  thought getting married entitles you to everything. That is not often the case.  What belongs to her also belongs to her children. What belongs to you might also  belong to her. It does get a little complicated but you should get the idea.  Getting married to a woman with children means you inherit the joys and the  sorrows.

Read more at http://www.infobarrel.com/Why_You_Should_Never_Marry_a_Woman_With_Children#kFq8SUCz33wfOOfJ.99

[InnocentVixen]

numbers numbers... I wonder how many guys out there found their soulmate when they stopped thinking about numbers... 

[V_Man]

In my book, WOVO also includes starting off writing to many but narrowing it down to one. Which you then go and visit.


Regarding solo mothers, those are not all the issues. There are more.

[Ricardo1]

I believe it's important to establish communication with a few or several ladies, if that's the approach one is taking before visiting.  Always have a backup plan with other options... i.e. ladies, if possible.
The cost (financial and emotional) of long-distance and international dating is also a significant factor that must be considered. 
When one is focussed on one lady, this Brasilera for example, one tends to want to make it work out, and sometimes that leads to minimizing or ignoring "red flags".