Sucker of the year?

[piglett]

"I have only been to the Philippines once.  Will not go back".
If you bring her here, and things don't work out, you will damage your life beyond words in so many ways you can't even imagine.  It's bad, real bad, when these marriages go wrong.  This risk to you is so great, it may be worth another trip over, to spend more time with her.  Go slow, be sure.  One quick trip is just not much time at all.  And during your quick trip, it sounds like you spent most of the time doing logistics.

you really need to think this over, JWR is spot on.
you will have to sign a paper stating that you will suport your new wife for TEN YEARS!!! so you mite be much better off spending a couple of weeks in the PI BEFORE this lady ever arrives here.
once she arrives it's too late dude you are on the hook to suport her, the gov. will make sure of that.
 
good luck man
get more info
piglett 

[Ray]

Hi Mode, a couple of comments.
　
There is no reason for your wife to stay in Manila at this time. She should be able to do all of that paperwork you mentioned (passport, birth cert, marriage cert, NBI clearance, etc.) in Bacolod. (Not sure about the NBI clearance...she may need to travel to Cebu City ir Iloilo for this)
 
 
She will not need to travel to Manila until her visa interview at the US Embassy is scheduled, which is way down the road, probably at least 9 months or so after you file your petition. Then she will need to be in Manila for about 1-2 weeks before her interview.
　
I would figure around 9-12 months for all of the processing until she gets a visa.
　
On the judge pulling strings to speed up the process: As mentioned earlier, there is a mandatory waiting period of 10 days after you obtain the marriage license, before you can marry. The only way to have that 10-day wait nullified is by a judicial order in court. If the judge issued a legal order to waive the 10-day wait then you should be OK. This timeline may come up when she goes in for her visa interview in Manila, so she should have some official paper from the court waiving the waiting period and bring it to her interview.
　
Where are you at now in preparing the petition for her visa? What documents do you have? I strongly recommend that you get a hard copy of your marriage certificate with all the official document stamps and seals. Then you will copy this to file with your petition (you will need the official NSO document later). I would also get a copy of her birth certificate and a recent copy of her baptismal certificate if available. You will also need passport photos and biographic information form (G-325A) from her before you file.
　
Was there a church wedding also, or only the civil ceremony?

Ray

[Big_Al]

Sucker of the year? You have my vote.

[Gato4Astrid]

this is better than what many people make in a month there. it's not huge money but can survive on it.

Thanks

[Bob_S]

I have only been to the Philippines once.  Will not go back.

Oh?  Bad experience?  I hope you are not saying you will also forbid your wife from traveling home on occasion.  We always say, when you marry the woman, you marry the whole culture as well.  If you have a problem hearing the language spoken around you and don't like the food, just back out now.  Send her all of your savings as apology money, and just get a divorce.  Because she will want to talk to her family on the phone in her language, she will meet other pinays and want to chat in her language, and she will want to cook her comfort food a lot.
If it's just the chaos and filth of a third world city that turned you off, well, I can understand that.  Though I find Egyptian history fascinating, I can live without ever seeing Cairo again and still die content.

The wife wanted to meet me when  I arrived in Manila.  Never been there herself so she had sister in law fly to Manila from Bacolod with her.  I paid.

Of course.  You pay and will always pay.  That's the rules of the game.  Unless you are fishing in a first world industrialized country (i.e. Japan, S. Korea, Hong Kong, Taiwan, and certain parts of eastern mainland China), it is assumed the woman and her family have no money and you will be paying for everything along the way.  There are exceptions, but they are just that: exceptions.  That's what you signed up for.  Don't complain.

I do not think I rushed into marriage.  I am 63. She is 50.  I have no minor children.  She has no children. We are adults and I am not wealthy.  We talked back and forth for a long time.

Yes, you did rush in.  It doesn't matter if you talked for a long time, and it doesn't matter if you are both mature adults.  If you were talking marriage before you even saw each other in person, and if you got married on your first trip, that is by definition rushing in.  If you had found us before you started this trip, we would have strongly advised against that plan.  But now that's water under the bridge.  And it's certainly no cardinal sin.  Our regular poster, Piglett, did the exact same thing, and now he's stuck in visa process hell, too.  It happens.  It is not in itself a horrible mistake, it just ups your chances of things going wrong.  Nothing is guaranteed either way.

I took a prenuptial.  Told all concerned I am not wealthy.  Will only support wife.

When it comes to prenups with foreign spouses, forget it.  They are worthless.  Your best bet for protecting your assets for your kids to inherit is to get a living trust with your children as the beneficiary.  I strongly advise you to look into that right away.

I thought getting married was simple.  And inexpensive.  Not so.

Gah!  What?!  Really?  Who sold you that bill of goods?  It is FAR more expensive and FAR more complicated than marrying the lonely widow down the street.  It is so frustrating, you will want to bash your head repeatedly into a wall, wait for your frontal lobe to re-grow, and bash your head again.  If you only screw up the paperwork process once, you are still doing fine.  But...
IT    IS    All   Worth   It.
At the end of the process, you will have a good woman by your side.  Your pinay wife is probably half the size and a third the weight of that  lonely widow down the  street.  And I'll bet far more happy and friendly, dutiful, and affectionate as well.  My wife is Japanese, and when I get together with my coworkers for beers, and they start bitching about their wives, I have to stay silent.  I can't join in this conversation, because I got nothing to complain about.  I just smile, go home, and kiss the wife and thank her for being such a good woman.

What is the general consensus a reasonable amount to send the wife for living expenses while in the big city?  How long a wait?  6 month? Year?

The visa process itself can take anywhere from a couple months to a year.  Her staying in the big city should just be a few days to a week (my experience with other countries matches what the guys here with pinay wives also said).  Though it would be reasonable to provide a little extra life-style improvement cash while she waits at home for the paperwork to clear.

You come across as a bit frazzled by the whole thing.  Certainly understandable.  So I'm wondering, do you have an immigration attorney working with you?  It might help.

[z_k_g]

But...
IT    IS    All   Worth   It.
At the end of the process, you will have a good woman by your side.  Your pinay wife is probably half the size and a third the weight of that  lonely widow down the  street.  And I'll bet far more happy and friendly, dutiful, and affectionate as well. 

Amen....

Z

[alejandro]

I was told not to marry in the phils, use k-1 and get married in Vegas, bypassed the moochers, worked great. Take a few steps back, slow down, and get thing straight. I think your family may have kano fever, left untreated, you will be dealing with this for years. good luck, keep us posted.

[dewey4350]

I don't know much about the legal proceedings over there concerning a wedding and services. But I do know know about Bacoloid City and the wemon. I feel for you I personally know there are some very dishonest ladies in Bacoloid. Hopefully your on the good side. The city government there is pretty much corrupt. Not sure if we have members that have ever been married in Bacoloid? I know personally of city officials being shot and inspectors being killed. Just be carefull and good luck............

[JamesDonut]

Wow, what a mess dude.   Some great advice from everyone here.  I hope you take a step back read it and decide what to do.  I know your head is probably spinning but, First thing I would do is get the legal paperwork concerning your marriage in hand.  If you can't get it, fly over there and knock some heads and get to the bottom of this.  I would want to be 100% sure that this marriage was legit.  I'd bet some fairly good money that this was all a sham.  For you to go forward with this without knowing would be pure stupidity.  Start thinking with your big head.   

Like I said before, heed the warnings and advice of those on this board.  If you do not you will be truly sorry beyond words. 

Best Wishes,

James