long term

[V_Man]

For the guys and girls who are married or in a relationship, what do you do to keep romance alive?

[Jeff S]

Make every day new and special. Never stop treating her as your girlfriend, not your ball and chain. Women really hold the keys to the happiness of the marriage, not the men, so the most effective way to make it last is to choose wisely.

[Alabamaboy!]

I really think the best thing to keep the juices flowing is for both parties to exercise regularly, sleep well, and generally take care of themselves. The results are a more physically attractive partner, better "stamina", better mood and well being, etc, etc. Stress is a killer and a drag on the relationship.

Also, I always like to have something fun for us to do to keep things fresh. Go to a new restaurant, plan a weekend get away, maybe a shopping outing to spoil your gal a bit. Surprise her with some little "detalles" which show that you are thinking of her and appreciate her.

Never take your lady for granted. Keep treating her as your girlfriend as Jeff mentioned.

One thing I hope you realize though, is that the mind shattering, super charged feeling that you feel when you are first dating and courting is impossible to maintain throughout a long term relationship. It is replaced with a more even tempo, richer, deeper love and appreciation, which I find to be equally enjoyable and interesting. I think the only way you can get that "first love" kind of romance is to keep having serial relationships, and never get married in the first place.

[Bob_S]

When she arrives, don't overwhelm her with everything all at once.  It's your natural inclination to want to introduce her to your world and all that there is in it.  But don't.  On your to-do list of places you want to take her and things you want to do, space it out over the course of years.  Always have something new you can do or some place you can go.

At the same time, develop your special couple's place or event.  It'll have to be chosen by her 'cause chicks are into that sort of thing more than guys.  But make it some special meaningful "our thing" kind of place.  For example, Japanese are really into flower viewing (hanami), so we have a few select places we like to go when the local flora are in bloom such as the Huntington Botanical Gardens or the Lancaster Poppy Reserve.  We try to go to one or the other each year.  Sometimes mix it up with other places with a similar theme just to keep it fresh.  Of course there are others, like where to go for Christmas lights viewing, or fall foliage viewing, seasonal wine tasting trips, etc.

[Chris F]

For the guys and girls who are married or in a relationship, what do you do to keep romance alive?

In your previous relationships, what did you do to keep the romance alive?
 

[V_Man]

In your previous relationships, what did you do to keep the romance alive?

I did several things but after the "high" of that initial love wore off I found that the women didn't do anything very much. That entitlement attitude surfaced. YOu all know what I'm refering to. This creates a rut. What really got to me is the unwillingness of those women to do anything constructive about it. Once I got to that stage. I really couldn't see the point in maintaining things. If they had demonstrated a willingness to take joint responsibilty for the quality of the relationship over the long term then it would be different. However in my experience there is an unspoken entitlement which prevents those women from seeing it as a joint responsibilty.

May be I was unlucky. However there seems to be a very large number of western males that have experienced the same thing. May be Latin women will be different. I don't know. Right now I'm just focused on one individual latin woman.

I am nowhere even remotely close to this stage with my current girlfriend, but I usually think ahead so I was just asking both males and females to share those ideas that you do to keep reminding the other person that you love them.

Personally I do quite a few things but my opinion is that you can never have too many of these ideas.

[SkyNorth]

These ideas or place for ideas are a great start.  (1) Flowers and/or card for no special reason other than you were thinking of her.  (2) A reservation at a really nice place for dinner.  (3) Ask one of her friends if she has mentioned something to do or a place they spoke about - you might not be aware.  (4) With her help - Pick something out of the To-Do section for the city you live in -and hopefeul something unique or out of the norm for the two of you.
 
Keep it Fresh Its not Hard...If you are in New Zeland I would take her Fly Fishing or Snow Skiing depending on the Season.