Why did your relationship succeed or fail?

[InnocentVixen]

Yes Zulu, I agree with you, he might had picked the wrong one (pinay, colombiana or whatever), but with such a big world out there, why go back to the same? he could just pick another country that with some luck will suit him better, not that I am saying he'll need to, I know AB truly cares about his lady and I hope they can sort things out.


Then again there is good and bad ones in any country, so picking the same type over and over even though is not compatible with you might apply to that saying, I have considered that myself when I started to realize what I need might not be necessarily what I always thought I wanted.

[z_k_g]

IV,

I think the failure in "picking" the right woman revolves around chosing the same personality/emotional or physical body types and not necessarily specific nationalities, ethnic groups, body types, blondes or brunettes, etc.

So if you consistantly pick a "Type A" personality or a hot blond and the relationships fail time and time again then your failure lies with your bad decision making and you should recognize that as your failure. 

However, if and when your relationship fails and you blame the entire female population of a country then you should turn the mirror to yourself; you are the problem with your poor choices, in my opinion.

I think everyone makes this type of mistake, men typically (but not always) pick a body types and other physical traits, whereas women typically (but not always) chose based on personality/emotional types.

Either way if you continue with poor decisions your will continue to fail in relationships no matter what country you wind up searching.

Zulu

[Tim413]

Hi OrlandoGringo,


Glad you found the one. Here are some of my thought, and from reading other's comment, some of my thoughts will be different.


1. Always have your wife around loving people. Hopefully, you will be with her most of the time, but when you are not able, make sure she is doing something with good people. No matter how much she thinks she knows about the US, what she will experience in the US will be totally foreign.


2. Guide her around. She will not know much. This means you need to lovely take her by the hand and help her find thing and experience thing. My wife is still trying to figure find shampoo that works in her hair, and she has lived her for over 5 years.


3. Get her involved. Make sure she is involved in things she enjoys or involved in fulfilling dreams. What does she want to do when she comes to the US. Help her live out her desires.


4. Keep her away from bad people. The number one advice people gave me before my wife came to the US was to keep her away from other latinos. I can truthfully say this is great advice!!!. All the problems that my wife has comes from hanging around other latinos. Maybe where you live there are some good latin women, but where I live, I have not meet one. The latin women here cheat on there husbands and fool around with married men.


5. Call family and friends. Make sure your wife can call home as much as possible. My wife's family has wireless internet, so we can Skype. Now with Skype's video chat, it is just like being next to the person your talking with. Communication is key!!!


Hope that helps!!!


Tim

[Alabamaboy!]

My ex wife, the wife of my two kids, is Filipina. And the reason I married a Filipina in the first place is that most of the Filipinas that I met were super hard working, pleasant people. And although I have only had one relationship with a Filipina, the "physical chemistry" was as good or better with her than the Latinas I have had.

And most interestingly, the reason that I got divorced was that my ex did not want to do things with my son or with us as a family many times. When we would go to San Diego, my son and I would go to the beach and she wanted to be dropped off at Fashion Valley Mall. When we wanted to go to the movies, or the park, she would want to stay chat with her Filipino friends or watch Filipino soap operas. We were not doing things as a family many times and I did not want to live a  life like that. And also after the first few years, she did not want to cook much anymore, even for my son when I was at work all day.  But after all that, I have discovered that most other women I have met were much, much worse than her. And had other major problems as well. So maybe I was a little too hasty in getting divorced and should have tried counseling or something to see if I could have worked it out.

But since we have been divorced (5 years or so), she still has not worked. She just collects the cash from me and lives like a princess.

But she is a much, much better mother than she was when we were married. She really makes an effort and in the end is probably better than 99% of the women I have met in Colombia after it is all said and done. And the best part is that there is very little drama with most Filipinas as far as I can see. I recall only one time I raised my voice with her during an argument in 7 years. They fight very peacefully ....passive aggressiveness seems to be the specialty.

Most of her friends seem to be very good. Her parents are here and are great, hardworking people. During my trips to the Philippines I saw some shockingly beautiful women there. And I like the food there a lot better than Colombian food.

So yeah, if things did not work out with my wife, and IF I were to be looking for another relationship, I would not hesitate to try it with a Filipina from the Philippines. But I am never going to do that. I have wasted too much time, money, energy on all this. The immigration process is too much. The risks too high. If I were to have a relationship, it would be with a Filipina who is already here. And there would probably not be any wedding bells ringing anytime soon.

If things don't work out with my wife, my plan is on staying a free agent and just travel a bit, spend time with my kids, and stay out of any serious relationships.

 

Bama would you consider the filipinas if this marriage doesn't pan out? (Not reffering to "mature" ones.)

[Alabamaboy!]

Bama would you consider the filipinas if this marriage doesn't pan out? (Not reffering to "mature" ones.)

My ex wife is 38 and looks like she is about 24. And she is Filiipina.

[JimD]

Bama the middle aged filipina sounds great. Ever thought of reconciling? You and your son could learn to enjoy Philipino soap operas and the three of you could spend quality time together.

[Alabamaboy!]

Bama the middle aged filipina sounds great. Ever thought of reconciling? You and your son could learn to enjoy Philipino soap operas and the three of you could spend quality time together.

yeah the thought has crossed my mind

[opusone]

My relationships are succeeding because they are simple. What more does a man need?

[fathertime]

 
Probably because he is 45 and she is 34(?)
 
 
As a woman of 34, you don't have the luxury of waiting 2-3 years before you start trying to get pregnant, if you really want to have more children. Better do it while everything is still working... 
 
 
Ray

agree 4-square with Bozo Ray here!  my friend married a woman at age 34 and they waited until she was about 36 years old and decided they wanted kids...well they have been to fertility clinics and suffered miscarriages...time works against these ladies bigtime.  they stuck with it though and  have a relatively healthy son, who they gave birth to when mamma was over 40.


Fathertime!