Looking after the gringo

[V_Man]

So much happened in such a short time on my trips to Colombia that often it is not until much later that I reflect on some things.
 
 For example, right from the very beginnig my novia quickly grabed every bill presented to me and checked it first. Actually she checked almost every single transation and the change that I got. A couple of times she found "mistakes".
 
 I noticed this of course and processed it. It all added to a picture. I guess I didn't have any sort of checklist of behaviours so I wasn't 'logging' everything she did. However looking back, there were many things she did that were good signs.
 
 I don't recommend the following but it worked for me.
 Basically as soon as I landed in her city I told her I was naive about security, money, etc. In other words, overly trusting. Also right from the begining I trusted her 100% with my money, valuables - everything. Hence she could see I wasn't joking.
 
 I didn't over anaylise it at the time but basically my thought process was that - I want a life partner so I'll just treat our relationship with complete trust from the start.
 In hindsight this triggered a protective instinct in her immediately. As if she wasn't feeling a little responsible for me already! Thinking back, I basically created an instant situation where it was her and I dealing with the world together.
 
 I was creating that atmosphere at the same time as the sparks of our inital attraction were going off. I'm a quietly, confident sort of guy so that helps a great deal as well. I made her feel more calm and relaxed.
 
 I didn't think this all out as calculated as that at the time. I just thought about what outcome I wanted and acted like I'd already reached it. It just came to me naturally. Really I was just being myself.
 
 In hindsight, without really thinking it through, I intuitively created an atmosphere for her to feel like she wanted to look after me. She reciprocated fully and I knew I'd found a gem.
 
 Now I imagine that in Colombia this approach could go spectaturly badly for you. It heavily depends on both people's personalities and values. That is why I'm not recommending it. All I know is that it worked for us.

[braziliangirl]

For example, right from the very beginnig my novia quickly grabed every bill presented to me and checked it first. Actually she checked almost every single transation and the change that I got. A couple of times she found "mistakes".
 
 I noticed this of course and processed it. It all added to a picture. I guess I didn't have any sort of checklist of behaviours so I wasn't 'logging' everything she did. However looking back, there were many things she did that were good signs.

That's interesting. When I had someone visiting me, we went to a pharmacy to buy something for him. The pharmacist told us it would cost x, and and we got to the cashier it was something about 15% higher. I jumped in told the cashier how much the pharmacist had told us it cost and we started debating about it, until he registered the right price. Later on, the visitor told me he was impressed by that action and I was surprised. I thought it was something anyone would do. And now you mention it as being a good sign. So I guess being looked after is not something gringos are used to...

[V_Man]

 I thought it was something anyone would do. And now you mention it as being a good sign. So I guess being looked after is not something gringos are used to...

I didn't mean it like that but now that you mention it, western women don't look after me like latinas do. Most of them can't even cook as well as I can. In my very limited experience Latinas seem to get pleasure from anticipating my needs and providing something for me. That is a world away from the attitude of western women towards men.

A latin woman will get something for me which she knows I am prefectly capable of getting myself and she will enjoy doing it.
A western woman would feel conflicted. On the one hand her primal nature would feel good to do something for her man. On the other hand she has been taught all her life to resent doing such things. Hence she probably wouldn't do it and anyway she will feel slightly unhappy either way.

The reason I was saying it is a good sign is:
(a) that sort of situation almost never occurs in my country. People simply don't rip off a consumer in that way. Hence I'm not looking out for that behaviour. Plus the numbers, language and currency are strange.
(b) she is taking care of my money and my interests. She's not viewing me as a walking wallet or someone to take advantage of.

[InnocentVixen]

Depends on the person, I call this motherly instinct and I can be very overprotective of close friends and family so a guy that falls into this area too often might be unconsciously put into the friend zone for me.


On the other hand I know of plenty of women that don't mind this and having grown around too many mommy's boys think this might be normal (some mexican men can be like that) but I do notice that once kids come to the picture some start resenting their husbands since they end up very much like a single mother with no help raising the children and no father figure in the family.


I agree with BG american men don't seem very used to being taken care of so sometimes they will even try to resist, resistance is futile, relax every once in a while and let yourself be spoiled by your lady, the ones that are not used to this concept are the ones that deserve it the most usually 

[Fuzzyone]

That's interesting. When I had someone visiting me, we went to a pharmacy to buy something for him. The pharmacist told us it would cost x, and and we got to the cashier it was something about 15% higher. I jumped in told the cashier how much the pharmacist had told us it cost and we started debating about it, until he registered the right price. Later on, the visitor told me he was impressed by that action and I was surprised. I thought it was something anyone would do. And now you mention it as being a good sign. So I guess being looked after is not something gringos are used to...

   It means a lot to some men, it would mean a lot to me only because it would show me that you really do care. My wife did something along the same lines and it made me feel very at ease with her.

[V_Man]

I agree with BG american men don't seem very used to being taken care of so sometimes they will even try to resist, resistance is futile, relax every once in a while and let yourself be spoiled by your lady, the ones that are not used to this concept are the ones that deserve it the most usually 

I am starting to realise that resistance is futile. So far I'm holding out but it looks like a lost cause already.

[aconcepts]

The "friend zone!" Oh no, not the friend zone...


That is kind of like the twilight zone of dating! Dating purgatory! THE FRIEND ZONE//// I'd rather be wished to the corn fields.


Can men and women really be friends anyways??


What are they going to brush each others hair and do each others nails?




Maybe if the man is gay.


Hey a gay woman insinuated she wanted me to take her to the famous casino here to view the eye candy.  Naw.. Can't relate, wouldn't even want to start to think about what to talk about. Tall masculine looking creature... scary scary...


Even normal nice Ticas are going to gay bars to hang out...


nothing more than freak shows...

[dtibbet]

over-protected lol. its cultural here in my opion.  yes i agree but it depends on the person. my finance and her family are so over-protected of me it can be annoying at times. it makes me feel like a baby sometimes lol.  but i understand and its there way of showing they care for me and want the best for us. No PAILA AQUI LOL. hell, my finance and her family dont even want me to spend money here. only for the basics. my finance never ask for anything and if i want to buy her something nice, she tells me no, save the money. so different than my old girlfriends in the states. what a breath of fresh air.

[aconcepts]

DT - where are you living. Colombia? What part. Can you start a new thread on your experience in your city and with your girlfriend's families. I love to hear about you life experience there.