Conclusions on my 5th trip to Colombia

[Seeker]

I believe I have found the Colombiana I've been seeking. Sandra is an intelligent, hard-working and beautiful woman, a responsible and loving mother, and an uncomplicated person. Although she is only 24 years-old, her failed marriage and daugter have contributed to her maturity. She has a university degree and holds a good job. She has studied English in the past and she would often read paragraphs from books in English that I had. I'd help her with pronounciation and comprehension. I think I would have a hard time finding a more compatible Colombiana for myself. I realize she is not perfect; neither am I. Sandra's daughter is a great responsibility, but also a blessing in many ways. I now realize that I will also have to work at developing a relationship with her daughter and that this process will take time.

During our time together, I was constantly interpreting and evaluating Sandra in many ways. I observed and evaluated. I asked tons of questions and carefully analyzed the corresponding answers. I believe that actions speak louder than words and paid attention to her behavior. Sandra shared her photo albums with me, her poetry and paintings. She is quite a talented artist and I appreciate her artistic sensibilities. More importantly, Sandra opened her heart and the doors to her home and family.

I missed my original return flight home and had to wait an extra 24 hours in Medellin. (Note to self: Make sure you arrive to the airport at least 3 hours in advance for international flights). Sandra's parents offerred their home and I accepted. I took Sandra's mom, Sandra and her daugter for lunch to Unicentro. Sandra and her mom cooked dinner for me. This past Monday was also a holiday in Colombia, so Sandra and I spent a good part of the afternoon listening to the many CD's I purchased in Colombia. Sandra's dad and I had a nice conversation after dinner. I slept in the guest room and was made to feel like part of the family.

What I need right now is a couple of months to process my experiences, confirm my committment to Sandra and make the necessary preparations to take on the responsibilities of a wife and daughter. I have no doubt that Sandra would be an ideal wife, but knowing myself and based on past experiences, it is best to proceed cautiously.

[Kiltboy1]

I can understand exactly what you are feeling. My wife has a son and it was difficult in having a relationship with him because even though he was only 6, his mother was not on the same page as far as disipline and also undeRmining any effort to play more of a father figure in his life, thus at the end of our marriage i was getting the "you are not his father " from her and the " you are not my father" from him. Now, i know this can be the same in any marriage regardless of culture, so only i am advising you to get the ground rules set before you marry her on how the child will be raised as it will make what will be a difficult transition of life in colombia to life in america, a much more plesant and easier transition. If i can give any advice in my time with my wife, this is solid advise and the fact she is a little girl will be easier then a little boy because the Colombianas spoil there little dudes to the point of them being just one BIG PROBLEM .

Muchas Suerte

KB

" JUST LOOKING FOR A WOMAN THAT WILL LET ME SCRATCH MY BALLS IN PEACE "

[Hoda]

I can understand exactly what you are feeling. My wife has a son and it was difficult in having a relationship with him because even though he was only 6, his mother was not on the same page as far as disipline and also undeRmining any effort to play more of a father figure in his life, thus at the end of our marriage i was getting the "you are not his father " from her and the " you are not my father" from him. Now, i know this can be the same in any marriage regardless of culture, so only i am advising you to get the ground rules set before you marry her on how the child will be raised as it will make what will be a difficult transition of life in colombia to life in america, a much more plesant and easier transition. If i can give any advice in my time with my wife, this is solid advise and the fact she is a little girl will be easier then a little boy because the Colombianas spoil there little dudes to the point of them being just one BIG PROBLEM .

Muchas Suerte

KB

" JUST LOOKING FOR A WOMAN THAT WILL LET ME SCRATCH MY BALLS IN PEACE "

KB,

I feel you on how Colombianas can spoil their little dudes With our little guy of 21 months, my wife is more pampering & so eager to do for him. With him fast approaching the dreaded "TERRIBLE TWO'S", I'm from the old school. When he drops down to the floor with a little tantrum, beacuse he didn't get his way.....I tell my wife "to leave his little narra ass right there, til he comes to his senses".  After a couple of minutes, he'll dust himself off & start laughing & bouncing around again....

Your observations on little girls & little boys with their momma's is on point.

[UnitedNut]

I believe I have found the Colombiana I've been seeking. Sandra is an intelligent, hard-working and beautiful woman, a responsible and loving mother, and an uncomplicated person.

Congrats and thanks for the update.  Hope there is a happy ending here. Sounds like you had fun and everyone enjoyed each other company.

[Kiltboy1]

Hi Hoda

Been out of pocket with internet and just catching up. Yes, i wish it was an easier task on the difference between the little boys and little girls. I have a 9 year old daughter and it was very difficult for my wife to want to be her friend. When i asked her why is it difficult, she always told me
"  Ninas son dificils" and she should know , jaja

Good luck with things on the infant front. I think you have a much better chance then i did as you really are the little guys father and have every right to teach him your morals and thinking as well.

Muchas Suerte Amigo

[Dodgers]

i GOT A QUESTION YOU MET A LADY FROM MEDELLIN AND AM GOING ON MY FIRST TRIP ANY TIPS YOU CAN GIVE ME? AND PLACES I CAN GO VISIT SO I CAN MEET SINGLE PAISAS FROM MEDELLIN? THANKS A LOT

[Samuel]

Dodger, a bit of a late comment to your post but Seeker started this thread a long time ago and is no longer an active member.  Maybe you realized that after you made your post.  Anyway if you want information on Medellin there is plenty in the archives.  If you can't find answers to your specific questions fire away.