Author Topic: Married Life With My Barranquillera Bride In US (Read 5247 times)

Alabamaboy! · « **on:** October 24, 2011, 10:01:55 AM »

My wife has been here for about a month now. Everything is going great in all areas. The kids and my wife were so happy to see each other. And I was glad to finally get us all together too so we can begin a normal life. My wife immediately took control of all aspects of the day to day running of the household, cooking wonderful, healthy meals 3 times a day, playing with the kids, organizing things, and even grooming and beautifying the family dog.

I am happy as can be. Every morning waking up next to a beautiful, loving, affection woman. What else can you ask for? She treats me like a king, and I treat her like a queen, so it is all working out perfectly.

We have been spending a lot of time in San Diego area on the weekends. Two 3 day weekends with the kids, and one with just the two of us. We are having a blast doing simple things like going to the beach, parks, swap meet, playing in the pool, taking naps, walking the dog, doing exercise, renting Redbox movies, whatever things. Every day seems like a vacation now. And best of all, not wasting 2 hours a day or more on MSN chat sessions, calls, and all the other LDR baloney that is very necessary to make this all happen. Sometimes she will spend a couple hours playing with my young daughter doing girly things which gives me and my son more time to do more manly things. It is all working out perfectly so far.

Last week she received her 2 year green card in the mail. She was very excited for that.

We sent her family a Magic Jack device for their computer so they are able to call her whenever they want. My wife has a Boost phone with unlimited calls to fixed line phones, and unlimited text. She has her own laptop. So there is not too much problem with her being away from her family.

She even made her first trip to Mexico last week when we went to get a crown made for her tooth since the one we had done in Colombia during the last trip lasted only 6 days!. She loved the quesadillas with al pastor meat that we bought down there. She was surprised there were not dead bodies lining the streets, after all the bad press Mexico has gotten lately.

We even got great news recently that she is pregnant! It is no surprise since we had not seen each other in about six months before my most recent trip there. It was a bit like a second honeymoon, (although in nasty Bogota).

The only thing that I can say that is not going 100% perfect is that she does not like to speak English much. But it does not seem to be a big issue at this point because everyone is able to understand each other and we are all happy. When she wants to study more or practice more, cool. I am not going to push things at this time.

All in all, I definitely think it has all been worth the time, energy, money, and headaches to get us to this point. Of course I would do it all over again if I had the chance to start from the beginning 5-6 years ago.

This type of endeavor is not for everyone, but for many guys, it can definitely happen where everyone is happy and satisfied.

It has been a very interesting, exciting, and fulfilling time of my life. But more importantly, I am happy for my wife and kids that they are equally as happy and satisfied with the end result.

JWR · « **Reply #1 on:** October 24, 2011, 11:05:55 AM »

Alabama,
Good to hear your new life is going well for you.
About the English thing. My ex Colombiana absolutely hated English in the beginning......I didn't pressure her, and just accepted. One day I told her "look I don't really care if you speak English or not, but your life here in the US could get pretty boring not knowing what's going on around you all the time" I started taking her to the Community College esl classes everyday, and in a very short time, the light just came on. She became fluent within the 1st year. Now she has a BS in nursing and works in a intensive care unit.
They know they need to learn English, but it's hard in the beginning, and I think they just procrastinate getting started. When she started speaking English, I didn't correct her that much. Just let her go with it, and encouraged her to not worry about mistakes.
Have fun, and don't take her for granted for 1 minute.....even years down the road.

fathertime · « **Reply #2 on:** October 24, 2011, 11:24:15 AM »

Great job sticking with it buddy and congrats on the upcoming bambino! Your woman is obviously a winner for you!

Fathertime!

Planet-Love.com · « **Reply #2 on:** October 24, 2011, 11:24:15 AM »

Jeff S · « **Reply #3 on:** October 24, 2011, 11:26:48 AM »

Congrats AB on getting the wife here and on the news of a new arrival!

Alabamaboy! · « **Reply #4 on:** October 24, 2011, 11:30:20 AM »

Quote from: JWR on October 24, 2011, 11:05:55 AM

Alabama,
Good to hear your new life is going well for you.
About the English thing. My ex Colombiana absolutely hated English in the beginning......I didn't pressure her, and just accepted. One day I told her "look I don't really care if you speak English or not, but your life here in the US could get pretty boring not knowing what's going on around you all the time" I started taking her to the Community College esl classes everyday, and in a very short time, the light just came on. She became fluent within the 1st year. Now she has a BS in nursing and works in a intensive care unit.
They know they need to learn English, but it's hard in the beginning, and I think they just procrastinate getting started. When she started speaking English, I didn't correct her that much. Just let her go with it, and encouraged her to not worry about mistakes.
Have fun, and don't take her for granted for 1 minute.....even years down the road.

JWR, thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.

Just wondering, what happened with your ex Colombiana if you don't mind asking? I don't have any problems telling the good, the bad, and the ugly here so others can learn from my mistakes. And I try to learn from other's successes and not so successful things as well, so I can have the best chance for success in my own relationship. Can you give some nuggets of wisdom here? And if you already have done so in other threads, can you give me the names of those threads so I can read about it?

Thanks.

dennislevy · « **Reply #5 on:** October 24, 2011, 11:35:28 AM »

Congratualtions...nest wishes for a happy lifetime together!!!!!!!

beginthebeguin · « **Reply #6 on:** October 24, 2011, 11:57:05 AM »

A_B I am glad for the both of you. You stuck with it and I hope things just get better and better for you and you lady.

InnocentVixen · « **Reply #7 on:** October 24, 2011, 02:02:25 PM »

felicidades AB!! sounds like life is going great for you and a baby! I wish you and your lady the best, with all you guys had to go through you don't deserve anything less

JWR · « **Reply #8 on:** October 25, 2011, 04:35:02 AM »

Alabama,

If you click on my profile and read some of my posts from last year, you can get a feel for what went wrong.

Your life with your Colombiana is well on it's way with a baby, and children involved. Sounds like a very nice life with lots of love around you.

I don't really have much advice. Everybody is different and it's always complicated. After being married for a while, it really doesn't have anything to do with where she came from. It's just like any other relationship, and our habits and character determine the outcome, happy or sad.

Here's a short list that comes to mind. Some may not apply to you, but here goes.

Stay humble or you will be humbled. I've been around this for over 13 years now, and I see guys have a little success, and they get very cocky. It's like writing a book about climbing Mt. Everest when the author hasn't even left base camp yet.

Stay calm and don't raise your voice. Colombianas in general don't take this well, and a good old fashion loud argument "American women"style, could come back to bite you long after. In 10 years my ex wife and I only had a couple loud arguments, and I regret them.

Don't rush integrating her into our society and culture. There's no hurry so just let it happen naturally at her own pace. She's already going to experience all sorts of culture shock living here, so don't pile on any extra pressures. Be patient and encourage her to be patient with herself.

Hire a Spanish speaking driving instructor and keep paying until she is safe. Do not teach her to drive yourself. When she dents the car, just smile and give her a hug.

Don't feel like you have to answer everyone's stupid questions about how you met, how old she is, etc, etc. Often these questions are "loaded", and have unkind intentions. Quickly learn to recognise toxic people and situations, and remove your wife from any party, dinner, or other gathering that is not friendly and fun for her. After a while, after she learns English, she will be able to handle herself, but it's your job to protect her from this in the beginning. Do not underestimate the "mail order bride" stigma. Bringing a younger bride here from a 3rd world country is most often not well accepted. Don't be surprised if you lose friends over this. After years, some people will begin to see you as just a "couple", and not that guy who got a MOB.

Unless your Spanish is fluent, you don't completely know who you married. As she learns English, you may start waking up next to a person that is quite different from the girl that you thought you married. Don't let this surprise you. This is just part of the risk that we take. You may love her more after you really get to know her, or the opposite. Good chemistry, sex, and newness often masks the realities of the situation you now find yourself in. When the honeymoon is over, then you will start to know how your future is looking.

Go to the gym and don't get fat. You most likely married a girl who is pretty and young. Better look your best as long as possible. People that get married generally put on 25 lbs because the livin is good. Girls don't want a fat husband any more then we want a fat wife. Would you climb into bed with a female version of yourself?

When she starts crying and missing her country, you can't fix this. Only time will take care of this. Go out for ice cream, and eat something sweet. Never seen a girl cry while eating ice cream.....

If you don't have a sense of humor, you better get one quick. Because so much funny and unexpected stuff is about to happen. Hang on because it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Quote from: Alabamaboy! on October 24, 2011, 11:30:20 AM

JWR, thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.

Just wondering, what happened with your ex Colombiana if you don't mind asking? I don't have any problems telling the good, the bad, and the ugly here so others can learn from my mistakes. And I try to learn from other's successes and not so successful things as well, so I can have the best chance for success in my own relationship. Can you give some nuggets of wisdom here? And if you already have done so in other threads, can you give me the names of those threads so I can read about it?

Thanks.

z_k_g · « **Reply #9 on:** October 25, 2011, 06:29:11 AM »

AB,

Good luck and Congrats!!

Zulu

beginthebeguin · « **Reply #10 on:** October 25, 2011, 06:35:06 AM »

JWR said

Quote

When she starts crying and missing her country, you can't fix this. Only time will take care of this. Go out for ice cream, and eat something sweet. Never seen a girl cry while eating ice cream.....

Good one JW. I hope when I get 'homesick' my lady will take me out for helado. She already knows I'm a helado freak.

Warning Will Robinson!!!!!!! Warning!!!! Brace for FT impact!!!!

Jeff S · « **Reply #11 on:** October 25, 2011, 06:57:21 AM »

Excellent post JWR - It applies to just as surely to a wife from anywhere in the world. It should be required reading for anyone starting out with a foreign wife.

Alabamaboy! · « **Reply #12 on:** October 25, 2011, 05:08:43 PM »

Quote from: JWR on October 25, 2011, 04:35:02 AM

Alabama,

If you click on my profile and read some of my posts from last year, you can get a feel for what went wrong.

Your life with your Colombiana is well on it's way with a baby, and children involved. Sounds like a very nice life with lots of love around you.

I don't really have much advice. Everybody is different and it's always complicated. After being married for a while, it really doesn't have anything to do with where she came from. It's just like any other relationship, and our habits and character determine the outcome, happy or sad.

Here's a short list that comes to mind. Some may not apply to you, but here goes.

Stay humble or you will be humbled. I've been around this for over 13 years now, and I see guys have a little success, and they get very cocky. It's like writing a book about climbing Mt. Everest when the author hasn't even left base camp yet.

Stay calm and don't raise your voice. Colombianas in general don't take this well, and a good old fashion loud argument "American women"style, could come back to bite you long after. In 10 years my ex wife and I only had a couple loud arguments, and I regret them.

Don't rush integrating her into our society and culture. There's no hurry so just let it happen naturally at her own pace. She's already going to experience all sorts of culture shock living here, so don't pile on any extra pressures. Be patient and encourage her to be patient with herself.

Hire a Spanish speaking driving instructor and keep paying until she is safe. Do not teach her to drive yourself. When she dents the car, just smile and give her a hug.

Don't feel like you have to answer everyone's stupid questions about how you met, how old she is, etc, etc. Often these questions are "loaded", and have unkind intentions. Quickly learn to recognise toxic people and situations, and remove your wife from any party, dinner, or other gathering that is not friendly and fun for her. After a while, after she learns English, she will be able to handle herself, but it's your job to protect her from this in the beginning. Do not underestimate the "mail order bride" stigma. Bringing a younger bride here from a 3rd world country is most often not well accepted. Don't be surprised if you lose friends over this. After years, some people will begin to see you as just a "couple", and not that guy who got a MOB.

Unless your Spanish is fluent, you don't completely know who you married. As she learns English, you may start waking up next to a person that is quite different from the girl that you thought you married. Don't let this surprise you. This is just part of the risk that we take. You may love her more after you really get to know her, or the opposite. Good chemistry, sex, and newness often masks the realities of the situation you now find yourself in. When the honeymoon is over, then you will start to know how your future is looking.

Go to the gym and don't get fat. You most likely married a girl who is pretty and young. Better look your best as long as possible. People that get married generally put on 25 lbs because the livin is good. Girls don't want a fat husband any more then we want a fat wife. Would you climb into bed with a female version of yourself?

When she starts crying and missing her country, you can't fix this. Only time will take care of this. Go out for ice cream, and eat something sweet. Never seen a girl cry while eating ice cream.....

If you don't have a sense of humor, you better get one quick. Because so much funny and unexpected stuff is about to happen. Hang on because it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Thanks for the info. Lots of good points here.

Planet-Love.com · « **Reply #12 on:** October 25, 2011, 05:08:43 PM »

whitey · « **Reply #13 on:** October 25, 2011, 06:11:34 PM »

Hey AB ... congratulations ... it was a long and sometimes difficult road, and I'm glad everything is working out well for you, your wife, and the kids. Oh, and congrats on the new baby and for beating FT's "breeding out" record ...

I sure don't miss all the skyping either!

Excellent post, JWR ...

no comment · « **Reply #14 on:** October 25, 2011, 07:26:11 PM »

Congratulations to you Alabamaboy, for what it's worth my wife doesn't like to speak English either but she tries. Problem is that we have all kinds of Spanish speaking people around here and she is often addressed in Spanish without being asked if she speaks the language. She just has the look.

Researcher · « **Reply #15 on:** October 25, 2011, 07:35:04 PM »

Congrats AB. Everything sounds great so far.My wife is studying English still so she can attend college.She speaks and understands English enough to get by now but to be able to study ahe knows she needs to take it up a notch.

My mother-in-law came to visit us this year.I don't mind going to Bogota but when I am there I sure do miss breathing clean air!

Researcher

DesmondID · « **Reply #16 on:** October 25, 2011, 10:01:03 PM »

Quote from: JWR on October 25, 2011, 04:35:02 AM

I don't really have much advice. Everybody is different and it's always complicated. After being married for a while, it really doesn't have anything to do with where she came from. It's just like any other relationship, and our habits and character determine the outcome, happy or sad.

Here's a short list that comes to mind. Some may not apply to you, but here goes.

......

JWR, Alabamaboy,

Thanks much for sharing your experiences.. My wife has her interview coming up in a couple of weeks - reading your experiences has put that first twinge of "this is happening soon" into my gut..

Alabamaboy! · « **Reply #17 on:** November 03, 2011, 07:25:46 PM »

DesmondID: Good luck with the interview. I hope you can somehow be there with her because I really think they want to see that even though they say it is not needed.

Just went with my wife to the OB doc yesterday and saw the baby on the ultrasound.

Just be careful if your girl is Costena, they seem to be super fertile!

JWR · « **Reply #18 on:** November 04, 2011, 09:10:31 AM »

Alabama,

Wow how cool seeing your baby for the 1st time.

Congratulations!

dennislevy · « **Reply #19 on:** November 04, 2011, 10:01:34 AM »

thank you for the update.....congratulations on the impending arrival in the family!

Bob_S · « **Reply #20 on:** November 04, 2011, 01:19:39 PM »

Quote from: Alabamaboy! on November 03, 2011, 07:25:46 PM

Just went with my wife to the OB doc yesterday and saw the baby on the ultrasound.

Aren't those little pictures amazing! That's when it really hits you, this is my little baby.

robert angel · « **Reply #21 on:** November 04, 2011, 03:26:51 PM »

Best wishes AB,
It hasn't been an easy trail you've gone down, but you stuck to your guns all the same. I hope the best comes to folks like you--who work for it!

Researcher · « **Reply #22 on:** November 04, 2011, 03:45:26 PM »

Quote from: Alabamaboy! on November 03, 2011, 07:25:46 PM

DesmondID: Good luck with the interview. I hope you can somehow be there with her because I really think they want to see that even though they say it is not needed.

Just went with my wife to the OB doc yesterday and saw the baby on the ultrasound.

Just be careful if your girl is Costena, they seem to be super fertile!

I got the same feeling about the embassy AB.It isn't necessary to go but I felt it was to our advantage I was there.This visa stuff is alot of work as was pointed out but it is worth it in the end!

Congrats with your child!

Researcher

Planet-Love.com · « **Reply #22 on:** November 04, 2011, 03:45:26 PM »

DesmondID · « **Reply #23 on:** November 06, 2011, 08:55:01 AM »

Quote from: Alabamaboy! on November 03, 2011, 07:25:46 PM

DesmondID: Good luck with the interview. I hope you can somehow be there with her because I really think they want to see that even though they say it is not needed.

Just went with my wife to the OB doc yesterday and saw the baby on the ultrasound.

Just be careful if your girl is Costena, they seem to be super fertile!

Thank you much.. I am going with her to the interview, heading to Bogota tomorrow (monday) night. Hoping for no surprises!

raycjs · « **Reply #24 on:** November 07, 2011, 08:26:07 AM »

AB,

i am very happy to see all is well,congratulations on your future new arrival.
i wish you the best of luck and many more years of happines.

talk to you soon
Ray

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Author Topic: Married Life With My Barranquillera Bride In US (Read 5247 times)

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