Judgment Day ~ May 21st, 2011

[Ray]

OK Roll call. How many of us were raptured out of here?

I wasn't raptured, but I was almost ruptured lifting some sacks of cement.
 
Does that count?   
 
Ray
 
 

[piglett]

I wasn't raptured, but I was almost ruptured lifting some sacks of cement.
 
Does that count?   
 
Ray

that sure sounds very close to me
let me call Al Gore & see what his take is on it.
I'll also ask him where the dam warm weather is for my area
i still have the woodstove going some nights 
 
well it looks like i too was left behind
 
i guess i have to work tomorrow after all
 
oh well best of luck all
 
pig
 

[Researcher]

Zombie apocalypse is about to be unleash. 

                      KFC you have quite the imagination.....


                                               

           Researcher

[Bob_S]

I'm so surprised that I was left behind. 

Bob_S, brother, are you there?

 

Sorry, I was surrounded by Buddhists and Shintos, so if there was a Rapture, the Good Lord passed me by as not worth the special trip to swing by and pick me up.   

[thekfc]

Riots in the streets, US credit rating downgrade, etc, etc......all that will not matter after October 21, 2011 - there is a new rapture date.
http://judgementday2011.com/


For those of you who are wondering why you will not be save - here are the top 10 reasons as per Harold Camping cult.
1. You were never baptized.  Instant strike.
2. Do you think you’re cooler than me?  You made yourself an idol…
3. Have you ever said “God Damn It?”  Gone!
4. Missed church last Sunday?  Sunday Before?  Thats’ too many.
5. Work a 40 hour week?  Bible says 6 days is the law.  Can’t play catchup now!
6. Ever lie to your parents?  That wouldn’t be considered “honour” IMO. 
7. You killed someone on Spring Break in Cancun.  You already knew you were out.
8. Cheating on yo man?!  Especially if you have kids!  Dudes ain’t allowed to either.
9. Stealing candy from the store, even if you were a child – still counts as stealing!
10. At some point you’ve wanted what someone else as had.  Fail.


Should you be rapture then what about your pets?
Well for $135.00 Eternal Earth-Bound Pet will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved.
http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/


Who are Eternal Earth-Bound Pet?
They are a group of dedicated animal lovers and atheists.....they have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to  rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life. 


You have to read their FAQ & Terms and Conditions.
http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/FAQ_s.html
http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/Terms_and_Conditions.html

[Ray]

 
 

 

[robert angel]

Remember those late, late night TV commercials selling the late Reverend Ike's 'Lucky Coins'? I'm no fool, I got me one, so I reckon I'm covered for 'The Reckoning'--'Rapture', Judgement Day', etc

[michaelb]

Ah, Reverend Ike!

Mind power is green power.

You can't loose with the stuff I use.

Don't know what God you worship, but my God don't mind if we pass this vale of tears with some green in our pockets.

And my personal favorite, from an interview with Tom Snyder:

Tom: So how much money do you make out of all this?
Ike: Tom, that's between me, God and the IRS. But I will say that I have been audited every year for the last 10 years and have come up clean every time.
Tom: Well, I have it on good authority that you make $400,000* a year.
Ike: $400,000? $400,000!!?? Your information is hopelessly out of date, why I couldn't possibly support my life style on a mere $400,000....you better get you some new informants, these you got don't know what they're doing.

*1970 dollars, probably about 4 million today