My wife got back a few days ago from a month with her family--the jet lag's hit her kind of hard--bad weather in Atlanta had her do an over night in exciting Detroit, after hoping to catch a few flights to Atlanta all fell through and the jet lag--she fought it and it caught up and gave her a whammy.
I didn't go for a number of reasons, and it wasn't because of any real 'problems' between her and I--it wasn't purely economic either, although dropping $1640 for airfare and then a few more grand on 'this and that' did give me pause. She's asleep now--'I put her to bed' read a bit out of Keith Richard's recent bio and as is almost a habit, pulled out the laptop and keyed in P-L.
Anyways, it's amazing how a month apart can make a difference. She spent some time in Manila--in Makati, which is generally known as one of the 'better' and 'nicer' places in Manila, but it was very hot and more crowded and 'dangerous feeling' than any place she's ever been and she didn't feel safe outside w/o her brothers.
It's supposed to be the most densely populated place per square mile on earth, they say. I've been there several times and know my way around there better than my wife and was nonetheless surprised that a place like Mumbai or San Paulo--or the Tokyo area, with 36 million, wasn't more crowded. Going from almost any 'Point A' to a 'Point B' meant dealing with swarms of people and always clutching your purse and dealing with pollution--it took a lot more out of her than being in a smaller city would.
Then she spent 2 or 3 days a couple times in Davao City--that was her style--her element, where she went to university from age 16, getting a 5 year degree by an amazing age 20, then going to work for Coca Cola--dreamy years. We both love that city. It ain't Paris, that's for sure, but we'll take it, street urchins and all.
But she always goes home and home, where her heart and family lives, is small. Only about 650, maybe 700 people, live in their village and the nearest land line telephone is about 25 minutes away. No internet--even cell fones have 'iffy' signals. You might need to go walk around outside on somedays just to 'catch a cell phone signal'. Somedays we were able to talk morning and evening--but often the voice quality made it frustrating. Somedays, all I would get was "The subscriber cannot be reached--please try again later", which annoyed us.
Meanwhile, a 'perfect storm' of factors, Philippine style, was going on. She flew into Davao City as it was experiencing some minor flooding--no big deal. Filipinos are the most resilient people on planet earth I figure. Someone was making good of that--better fishing, farming--something somehow. I could see a bunch saying or thinking "This is God's will--it must be for a good reason".
I sometimes think they could be in a shyt storm and someone would surely look up and say "Fertilizer!!"
But back to her barangay--her village. They went for a number of days where there was no power at all for 12, maybe 18 hours at a time, or at best, 'brown outs'. Then the machinery and the pipes pumping water to the reservoir and to the water tower--all part of the infrastructure her dad, as barangay captain, along with nutrition programs and a new school, things he brought to the village, all 'tore up'. Somedays, there were minor earth quakes--nothing major--but just enough to make you think and take the TV and stereo off the shelf.
So like the old days she remembered all too well, getting water was a three trips a day thing, with one of her sisters and 2 of her bros, all hauling the heavy water to the house. She was very glad her brothers were there. Going to the old communal shower area, taking showers with the other women, wearing your 'night dress' while showering, coming home, collecting firewood and making a fire to cook--all over again.
She had a great time, being with her family made it all golden. She wants to GO BACK next summer, but with me.
Yes---no phone and for sure, no internet was a drag, not to mention no car and being in a sleepy village, tucked away among the prettiest mountains you could imagine, but removed from things she sort of relied on--but came to realize she could nonetheless live without.
She had time to get bored, time for long talks about life and about a lot of little things that mean a lot when you added them all up, with her younger sisters and brothers. They laughed and yes, even cried about things most American probably wouldn't even notice.
She went to the school--a school she only attended for a couple years until her parents could, struggling with every payment, send her and her siblings to a private catholic school, 'in town'--but she went there all the same, bringing books and sweet treats for all the kids. I don't even know if she mentioned 'returning from America'--I really doubt it and I'm sure she didn't dress up for any 'part' or role--she looked like she always did, modest, from the few pictures she took that I saw.
Probably half the kids there were related to her and maybe they could've known, but she wasn't playing up any princess kind of thing--she rejected that long before she even left, when at age 14 or so I guess, they voted her barangay queen or princess during one of their festivals and she politely declined--not her style--I'd have never known if I hadn't seen pictures of other Filipinas and asked her--'do they do that there?'.
No--there were some things--being without the things the little village usually had--or 'come to have'--cell phones, water straight to the house, a refrigerator, electricity for fans and cooking, things that she now expected and would have liked--and I can't believe it--but cable TV!--well 'dish' pay as you go TV!' They'd NEVER had that before recently!
Yes, Manila was Manila more than ever, but even there she was among family, a brother on each arm and when the seminary let him out, even a third bro to lead--a 'unit' laughing among themselves and at the rest of the world. They weren't going to let any city grind them down.
Then back in the village, even more so, they were all in it together, piled up, with six in with her parent's bed some nights, even though there are three large bedrooms and a big living room. It was like 'the old days'. And as hot and crowded as that bed must have felt, my, my--'our' king sized bed, back in OUR home. never felt as cold and lonely, her warm, softer than butter, light morena skin gone, and along with it, her light hearted laughter. Hell, I lost twenty pounds and I wasn't even 'fat'!
Man o live, it was pretty good before she left, but was I ever tickled to over hear her telling her best friend that coming home to me was "like we were married all over again!"
