How many dates before sex?

[jvoorhees]

It's Friday afternoon, so I thought I'd start the weekend off with a hot topic!
 
Ok.  When searching for you latin bride, how many dates do you usually have, plan to have, or find it best to have before having sex with her?
 
Personally, when I am dating American women at home, I set my goal at 3 dates.  My first two dates I don't plan on or try to initiate sex with my date.  On the 3rd date, I usually makes moves toward sex.  If no sex happens, I usually move onto the next women.  My thinking is that I want to hold off on sex until we get to know each other a litte first.  But by the 3rd date, if the physical attraction isn't there to have sex, the relationship isn't worht pursing.  Granted, that has been my strategy with American women and has served me fairly well.
 
As I am not yet experienced with Colombian woman, I ask to those you do.  After how many dates do you find it best to have sex?  What are Colombian women's usual expectations on timing?
 
 

[dennislevy]

You re going to be diappointed!
 
The numer of dates you MUST have before sex with a Colombian woman is 17.
 
jejejejeje!!!!!
 
Seriously.....it is entirely dependent on a lot of factors...and for the purposes of this post we talking about straight women and straight dating
 
The two most important factors (I think) are
what are her sexual values?
is there REAL chemistry between the two of you?
 
If you speak very good Spanish, have very good social skills  and can flirt (coquetar) in a gentlemanly but unmkistakable way....it usually happens quicker.
 
El Tiempo the largest newspaper in the country did a phone survey maybe 2 years ago. They asked 500 women and 500 men what they thought and the general consensus was......... three dates.
 
I dont have a specific numer...somewhere between first date and maybe 6 or 7 at the most..........but if I don t feel chemistry on the first date, it isnt any more then a polite conversation, I politely terminate.
 
If a woman wont kiss me by the third date, I usially terminate again...... politely. And I usually look for some physical chemistry, kissing on the second date.
 
What I NEVER do is push a woman......if she has her own standards and values and she wants to wait for quite a while.....  I respect those standards.....and I terminate..........there may be a better guy for her then me
 
And chemistry is something I talk about with a woman...before I meet her.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

[jvoorhees]

You re going to be diappointed!
 
The numer of dates you MUST have before sex with a Colombian woman is 17.
 
jejejejeje!!!!!
 

Thank god.  I was worried it was 18.  I can handle 17.  But 18 is just way too long.  LOL

[Gato4Astrid]

Thank god.  I was worried it was 18.  I can handle 17.  But 18 is just way too long.  LOL

Michael Myers might beat you to it )

[Researcher]

      I didn't have a set number of dates before "making my move".It either happened or it didn't.I never pushed for sex either.If it didn't happen then it didn't happen.Whether I continued a relationship with a woman didn't depend on whether or not we were having sex so much as the level of interest I had for her and what I thought she had for me.I had too many other things I looked at besides sex but sex was included.It just wasn't my number one priority.

       Researcher

[maritime04]

Colombia is funny that way
 
Few times i have gotten " lucy" on the first date, and seen some good chemistry, IE make out sessions. Easy women
 
Other times it it would take a month of dating/friendship almost to the point where i was not even intrested.
 
There is no set law; down here, it depends on the girl do not be suprised if you meet a girl with values who will not sleep with you for the first month, but if you can get her really drunk that can change.
 
RON MEDELLIN BAJA JEANS................as they say.

[dennislevy]

The run of the mill first date for lower class Colombian men attemptng a conquest is lots of beer and maybe dancing at a local neighborhood cafe.
 
A former amiga of mine once said to me......the center of Colombian social life on Friday and Saturday nights is the corner cafe...its also the center of Colombian social life on SUn, Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs....
 
To watch a Colombian making his move on Colombian woman in a cafe can be amusing....and of course Im making generalizations based on a lot of watching
 
Under the table his leg is moving up and down like a piston  as if he cant contain his impatience to get OUT of the cafe with the woman. Quite a few Colombian men think that getting a woman drunk is part of the process.
 
Frankly,  I prefer to date women who DON T drink at all, because I DON T  drink.  During a dinner, I ll buy a cocktail or two glasses of wine or a couple of beers for a woman...but not more then that. 
 
Another generalization.....but its happened to me several times.... a  woman say between 45 to 50...and say you ve had a steamy makeout session....or two in the frist couple of dates, if she shows up for the third date wearing more provactive clothing then the first two dates......a short skirt or a VERY tight  low cut dress, thats her signal......she is good to go.
 
 
 
 

[whitey]

A  former amiga of mine once said to me......the center of Colombian social life on Friday and Saturday nights is the corner cafe...its also the center of Colombian social life on SUn, Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs....
 
To watch a Colombian making his move on Colombian woman ina cafe can be amusing....and of course Im making genrealizations based on a lot of watching
 
Under the table his leg is moving up and down like a piston  as if he cant contain his impatience to get OUT of the cafe with the woman. Quite a few Colombian men think that getting a woman drunk is partof the process.

The corner cafe?  I can't seem to find any of those in Barranquilla, so I end up paying for over-priced Juan Valdez coffees.

The corner LICORERIA, however, seems to be VERY popular. 

[dennislevy]

Whitey
 
jejejeje, you re right
 
for me the cafe and licoreria are the same thing!

[Micky]

OK,  I have no business on this thread,  BUT it is either my great looks,  off the chart charm or extreme smoothness,  5 minutes,  unless she is super hot,  then I will go 30 minutes.  The truth is never far,  I just can't seem to find it.
 
Micky

[sdgringo]

my own personal experience, the girls who waited the longest to " drop the jeans" so to speak,  were the more serious and better girlfriend material.  it ranged from  6 hours to three months, or 1 date to 40 dates.

[dennislevy]

40 dates!
 
You re joking!
 
God almighty!!!!!!!!!!!

[maritime04]

Dennis i am forced to agree with your generalizations on Colombian culture and mens behavior trying to "score with women" In Colombia. I know there are honest and decent men and women in all the classes of Colombia, but generally speaking, and from what i have Exp. they are far and few.
 
I too like to "observe" when i have the time. From what i can tell they use alot of "humor", stupid jokes, very little conversation. They try their best to amuse, to the point where they are acting like clowns, and liqour is always invloved, shots and more shots, i often imagine the male ramming a bottle down the girls throat as if i am watching a national geographic on the matting rituals of the Colombian male. I enjoy dancing but it seems the men here in Colombia use to up the level of intimacy, and being the make out session right there on the dance floor.
 
This is totaly opposit of how i am, i like to party as much as the next guy, and i like to drink. but if i am on a date i like to actually get to know the person and have some form of conversation, i have been called DULL, and once was offended by a girl i was or use to be very intrested in.
 
After a night out with a few friends, we were intercepeted by a one pasia male, The owner of the bar we were drinking at, since i had a spare female whom i invited, i did not mind being invited to the owners table to drink (he was young). That night i got a up close look on the how colombian males try to score, but what offended me was that my date compared me to him, she had known me for about a year and we were "amigovios" as they say but i was very intrested in starting someting with her, Honestly i was more in lust becuase she was very attractive, but anywaz she had compared him the PAISA to me the BORING GRINGO, my only replay was hes trying to GET LAID! thats all it is drinks and laughs, if thats what you want a guy to entertain you; sleep with you then be gone the next day, then why are you with me. after that date, i was turned off by her, i realized she was a child looking for childish things, too into drugs and liqour for me, i kept her around and used her for sex from time to time, but any feelings i had for her died then. I have to say i am better off.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

[Alabamaboy!]

Most of the women I dated in Colombia were between 2-4 dates. But my wife was much longer. And she is the one I married. And she lacks nothing in the passion department at this stage of the relationship. 

My ex from BAQ who was an exotically beautiful, super passionate, firecracker is still unable to find a solid, long term relationship.

FT, didn't you have to also wait a little longer than usual with your wife?

A Mexican friend of mine always wanted me to go with him and his family to some pueblo 5-6 hours south of the border where his family is from. I forget what city it was, and what holiday it was, but it was a week of non-stop partying and celebration from what he told me. Anyway, he, his brother, and his dad all married nice women from that place. So he was telling me that I would have no problem meeting a super beautiful, loyal wife from that place if I went with them. But his dad gave me the advice that there are going to be so many gorgeous women who are going to want to dance, party, and have sex with you there, but those are exactly the ones you want to avoid! You want the one that just steals glances at you, but you have to drag out onto the dance floor. And the one that will not give you any sex at all during the first weeklong trip there. Only those girls will make good wives. And I must say, those 3 guys have beautiful, loyal wives who are great mothers to their kids. All that being said, Mexico seems to be way more conservative of a place than Colombia IMO.

Another good piece of advice he gave me was "Never give a woman all of your love or all of your money". The part of the money was self explanatory. The part of the "love" from what I can gather means to always have a little edge to you. Don't show that you are falling all over yourself to be with the woman. Don't be afraid to be a little macho at times. 

[maritime04]

good advice
 
i met my future wife, when i was not looking, we were friends first, and it developed into a relationship. i am very lucky i found some one who shares my intrests, is very attractive, and desires that same things in life, we have problems to be sure, and we work them out and continue to be togeather. I really do not know what i would do with out her.
 
I do not give her all of my money, but i trust her completly and do give her all of my love. but it took alot of time to get to the point we are at.
 

[Gato4Astrid]

40 dates!
 
You re joking!
 
God almighty!!!!!!!!!!!

How many dates before coffee? 

[Kiltboy1]

1
2 max or she is not interested

[JimD]

Well how many dates with a gringa? Who amongst us hasn´t taken a girl home from a bar in the US? Anyway depends on the circumstances...every guy I know who went to Flores Frescas had sex on the first date.