Don't do this.

[Cbear]

Guys if you meet a filipina and wish to marry her someday dont lie to her about your financial and family situation. One of the guys I work has a brother who served in Iraq and while on leave in the Philippines met a young lady and fell in love with her. He convinced her that after they married and he got out of the service that he would move to the Philippines to live with her there because she did not wish to leave her family and move to the United States. Ok, story sounds good so far.

But numb nuts lied to this poor girl and after he got out he told her he didnt have enough money or a job and wasnt able to move to the Philippines, so being a good wife, she decided to come here. Well after they get married she finds out he has a son already from another woman and when she gets here they have to live with his mother because he has a crappy job and cant afford to move out.

It gets better, or worse depending on how u see it. So then she is treated like total crap by her OCD mother in law who is an absolute clean freak, she basically becomes the MILs maid. Well he did let her find a job, she now is working 2 jobs to his one and she also sells avon. But off course when she goes to send some of the money that she earned to her family in the Philippines he goes nuts. She is expected to clean the house and cook after she returns from work. She is incredibly upset and wants nothing more than to go back home. She has made it past the 2 years and has a green card now. Oh, they have a child together now also. She is trying to save money to return to the Philippines and of course wants to take the child with her. I think this guy is about to lose his wife and child because of how he and his mother treat her. I dont think she will ever return to the states if she leaves. This guy has a woman who has not divorced him even though she is treated like crap and he cant see the jewel she is. This guy is a total lose in my book.

[robert angel]

Good to see you back here, Cbear--you always have stuff that 'hopefully' guys (and any women who tune in) can learn from. Hope you keep posting again and don't let any negative people stop you from doing good for others.

Sounds like this guy was bad news from the git go. This Pinay, on the other hand--I have to credit her for trying to make it work out, as most foreign women would be gone the day the green card came in the mail.

But she sounds like she was very naive, in that not only she didn't see it coming (which could have been hard being in the Philippines listening to his on-line lies) but especially hard for her when she can't get the back bone and support net work up to leave this jerk.

My wife has only chosen to make a few close friends, but if I was one tenth as bad as this chump, they'd take her in and help her if she wanted to stay here, go home--whatever--they are good people and cover each other's backs. She doesn't hang out with trash--and some Pinays honestly are--or become trashy bad influences, especially after living here a long time and if they didn't have good, strong values to start out with.


Most Pinays, even after a few years, take their marriage vows very seriously and will endure some serious crap, and if they have a child, even more seriously.

The idea of going back with a child and no way to make sure the ass hole she hopefully divorced will send a cent is terrifying. Of course she would have to face her family and friends.

I hope she is able to return home to a family and culture that supports her, but as most of us know, most people are pretty poor there and jobs are hard to find, especially for females. Still, I think she'd probably be happier poor and back home than staying with this idiot and his MIL, intimidated and working herself to death.

This is a good, if sad lesson, but I think most jerks like this guy have no conscience and probably can't learn and might even do the same thing again. They are 'users' and 'abusers'--takers not givers, but I bet this numbchuck head idiot actually believes in some sick way that he did this woman a favor by bringing her here.

The only thing that would make them change is FEAR--fear of getting beaten up or worse and fear of having to pay support for this woman and her child.

[Cbear]

I agree Robert, she could divorce him and live here and collect child support but my guess is she is hoping it will work out even though I think she knows it wont.

The situation probably feels helpless if not hopeless for her. I am sure if this jerk would get out from under his mommys apron and provide for her and let her help her family a bit (u know, let her have some self esteem) then I believe she would stay with him. Heck, she is still with him and i know she knows she can leave. She is in the workforce and i know these american woman are telling her how stupid she is to stay with him. So her commitment is real.

As for me RA, I stop by and read every once in awhile and I talk to some board members from time to time but I have a great relationship with my lady and I just dont feel the need to post much anymore. I have a place in the Philippines now and will be there at least 3 more years. Then we are thinking about coming here or Australia. My pay is much better in Australia but hers would be less. In America hers is much better and mine is much less. Ah, the trade off. which way to go?

Back to this dirt bag. I hope he wises up before it's too late. I hate to see a family implode like this.

[z_k_g]

Sorry to hear about these train wrecks. 

Gives the IMBRA proponents more ammunition not repeal the law, and in fact, more reason to expand and add to its requirements.

Guys like this need to be taken out to the woodshed.

Zulu

[Bob_S]

I am sure if this jerk would get out from under his mommys apron and provide for her

Chya, like that's ever going to happen.   

The moral of this story is: no matter how pathetic of a loser momma's boy you are, somewhere in the world there is an even more pathetic spine-of-worms woman who will dedicate her life to being your doormat (and bear your offspring to boot!).
   

[Honey]

might be hard to take the child with her.  airlines ask for a father's permission to travel when you're traveling with a child.

[piglett]

might be hard to take the child with her.  airlines ask for a father's permission to travel when you're traveling with a child.

Honey where ya been
don't be so shy, chime in more often.


piglett