Help

[Delboy]

Hi Guys,

Firstly apologies for this as i'm sure you've had many new guys on here and all asking the same questions. I've tried to read a lot of info on this site, but it's really confusing to know where to start? Is there a section for newbies?

I'm completely new to all this and don't really know where to start or who to trust?  I realize a lot of sites out there are scamming people. Why on these social networks are there profiles with beautiful women demanding your email? Why they want your email? (Again, please forgive my ignorance).

[michaelb]

Section for newbies? Well, there's one where you can introduce yourself. Actually, I think there are two, one for Asian, one for Latin.

Why do they want your email address? So they can send you an email, of course. Set up a new email account on Hotmail or Yahoo or some such and keep it exclusively for that purpose.

[Gato4Astrid]

Section for newbies?  This forum is open to anyone regardless how new they are.

'Delboy'  David Jason in Only Fools And Horses?     I take it that you are from UK.   I am also from the UK (Portsmouth)

There are so many scammers but there are also many genuine ladies - it is up to you to look for the Right lady.

If men say that there are more scammers than genuine ones, then I say that they were looking for the wrong women - they look for hot, sexy, bar girls types......

[Bob_S]

The best place to start as a newbie is the "Introductions and Ice Breakers" section where you tell us a bit about yourself.  That helps because from there we can point you in the right direction.  There's lots of guys here with different experience, some will be helpful, some not depending on your circumstance and interest.  As Gato mentioned, he's from the UK.  Most guys here are from the U.S., some from Canada, a few from the UK and other European countries, occasionally from non-English-speaking countries.  So that will have some bearing on immigration issues when you come to that, as well as travel issues (prices, whatever).

Watch out for those demanding e-mail addresses.  They may be setting you up to send you crap-loads of spam letters.  The girl may not even be real.  It's known as the "fat Yuri" scam.  Fat Yuri is a Russian guy sitting at a net café in Moscow pretending to be beautiful lonely Svetlana who can come to visit you if only you send "her" money for her travel visa and air ticket.  You send money but Svetlana never arrives.  You ask why, and she needed the money for medicine for her sick mother, but if you send more money, she'll definitely go this time...  There are variations in all countries.  Watch your back, and watch your wallet.

[Ray]

Why on these social networks are there profiles with beautiful women demanding your email? Why they want your email?

What is your intention in visiting those social network sites?

Do you just want to look at the photos of the pretty women, or do you wish to communicate with them?

If the latter, then give them an e-mail address so you can start a conversation. I would follow michaelb's advice above on this.

Ray

[z_k_g]

Hi Guys,

Firstly apologies for this as i'm sure you've had many new guys on here and all asking the same questions. I've tried to read a lot of info on this site, but it's really confusing to know where to start? Is there a section for newbies?

I'm completely new to all this and don't really know where to start or who to trust?  I realize a lot of sites out there are scamming people. Why on these social networks are there profiles with beautiful women demanding your email? Why they want your email? (Again, please forgive my ignorance).

Welcome and good luck!

I get the impression that you are in a hurry, don't be, because that would be your first major mistake.

I would strongly suggest that you take a few weeks, yes, I said weeks, to read the archives, search, find a suitable country and region, and then start to make your plans.  You will then be prepared to ask questions and clarify any issues that you may have.

If you want to score with some hot foreign babes, then you can do that pretty quickly, if you want to find a foreign wife and a life partner be prepared to spend a lot of time and bit of money on the effort.

You will find a lot of good advice and direction on P-L.

Introduce yourself and take it from there!

Zulu

[flipflop]

I was in a hurry. And its a good thing, my wifes mail box was jamb packed and the 1st one to show up on her doorstep won.

[z_k_g]

I was in a hurry. And its a good thing, my wifes mail box was jamb packed and the 1st one to show up on her doorstep won.

Ok, and your point is.....

If you are suggesting that Delboy, or anyone else, rush this search, I would have to say that your advice should be totally ignored.

Maybe you were lucky, kudos for you. 

However, choosing a wife, and a foreign one at that, is such an intricate endeavor fraught with pitfalls that to rush into this without a proper plan or perspective is not only foolish its deadly to your health.

Stupidity is very expensive and it Kills; don't encourage it.

Zulu

[flipflop]

No its not. Go with your gut. I did the entire thing on $3500 in less than 7 months.

[z_k_g]

No its not. Go with your gut. I did the entire thing on $3500 in less than 7 months.

FF, you are missing my point.  I never said you couldn't do it or that the process was overly expensive.

My point was if you f*ck up, it can be expensive and dangerous to your health.

Never rush any important decision, is my point.  You were lucky, but not everyone is as fortunate and successful as you on the first try out the gate, the internet is filled with stories of what happens when you rush into a foreign relationship.

You were lucky, extremely lucky, admit that.  But your case is the exception not the rule.

Encourage this guy to take his time and do it the right way.

Zulu

[flipflop]

Time is an issue in the sense that you need to be there, I say the sooner the better. You have limited control over the situation from half way around the globe. You have to get the woman in front of you to really make any kind of progress. To tell ya the truth I wasnt completely enamored with my wife at first blush. It took years for me to fall head over heels for her. What i was certain of after meeting her was that she was honest, intelligent with great character. You need to be willing to travel, which is fun, and not have all your eggs in the im going to find my soulmate basket. 

[fathertime]

Ok, and your point is.....

If you are suggesting that Delboy, or anyone else, rush this search, I would have to say that your advice should be totally ignored.

Maybe you were lucky, kudos for you. 

However, choosing a wife, and a foreign one at that, is such an intricate endeavor fraught with pitfalls that to rush into this without a proper plan or perspective is not only foolish its deadly to your health.

Stupidity is very expensive and it Kills; don't encourage it.

Zulu

Depending on circumstances, I am for moving things along on the quick side.  It is more risky, but I'm not adverse to risk. 
Some of these ladies are the same way, they may not want to squander their few prime years on a guy that can only see them 3 times a year at best. 
My feeling is most of the time you got to have the fiance with you to really know it is all going to shake out. 
Some guys are going to bite the dust whether they move fast or slow, they just don't have the proper judgement.
 If I were to have bitten the dust with my wife, I'd have wanted to do it quickly so I could move on while I'm still young and highly desirable!     I asked her to marry me after just my second trip down to Colombia (and a lot of face time on webcam)

Fathertime!

[Dave H]

I guess there is more than one way to skin a cat. flipflop's experience was the antithesis of mine...no hurry or lines to cut...  

Dave

[z_k_g]

This is a very recent post in the Latin section.

Read carefully.

Women like this are waiting for you in Asia;  They prey on niave and stupid men who rush in, don't do their full research and have no idea about the pitfalls that lay ahead.

actually, pretty typical for Colombian cupid and Latin cupid, their are lot s of " professional "   girls on there working guys who don't know any better.

sad but true, i know a girl, friend of mine from Medellin, well, sort of friend, lets just say i know her. she tells me that she wants to find a serious boyfriend. really cute girl, could pass for gringa, tall, big chest, cute face etc. she meets a gringo in all places," parque lleras"  they date about 3 months, guy gets what he wants and leaves. now she is hurt and sad and little pissed .  so she tells me she wants to go to USA, doesn't want to be in Colombia anymore, asks me about visas, tell her only visa she can get is fiancee visa and she will have to find a foreign novio or husband. she tells me" i wont do it, only if i am in love". well 5 months go by, then she asks me if i know any guys who would do the fiancee visa for her and how much it would cost. what???     

OK, so now i know she is not serious and just looking to get to USA by any means,  so i play along, say i know a few guys who might do it, but will charge $ 10,000 plus sex.  so i wait for her answer, she thinks about it for a week, and then says "OK, ill do it, who is the guy?", i will have to work off the $ 10,000 when i get in USA"
wowwwwwww and a week later, while surfing on Colombian cupid, there she is,her photos and profile, looking for some guy who she can use. probably figured was cheaper and easier to scam some guy on cupid.

You should read the entire thread to get a full view of the scam.

Do you really want this guy to be you???

Zulu

[flipflop]

hogwash, heresay. I wouldnt waste my time reading that thread. Scammers are easy to spot. If you are that petrified of being used as a mule or whatever then you should find a fat American butch to abuse you.

There are two extremes here. You talking about it being and intricate endeavor fraught with pitfalls and myself saying get on a plane. The truth lies somewhere in between and is unique to the individual. This site is a good source for information and advice but these are grown men who would be as well off following their instincts. If they are in it for the wrong reasons they will pay in the end.

I see it this way, seeking an American wife is the dangerous path fraught with pitfalls. Going to the PI seemed straight forward in comparison.

[Ray]

Scammers are easy to spot.

I agree with that. I have never had any trouble spotting the phonies and scammers.

And following your instincts works well if you have good instincts and good judgement.

I guess for some guys, they will never get it right no matter how they do it, just like FT said...   

Ray

[z_k_g]

You talking about it being and intricate endeavor fraught with pitfalls and myself saying get on a plane.

FF,

I NEVER said this would be an "intricate endeavor fraught with pitfalls"

I said "take your time", that's pretty simple straightforward advice.

My advice really is get to know about what you are involved in so you can make the best decision and don't get caught up in a scam.

Only a fool rushes and makes a major life decision without preparation.

I call it stupid.

Zulu

[Dave H]

Scammers are easy to spot.

Absolutely! Some guys are in denial and don't want to believe their instincts or even the facts! "She said that the man in the picture with his tongue shoved down her throat is her brother...and I believe her!"