Nature of wife?

[hitmark]

Some times ago, I was reading a true story about a married couple. In the last, writer conclude, that the woman is like WAX that can be fabricated in any shape by melting it with heat of love. What do you think that a girl of this modern age can be in such a way?
 

[Shadow_mas]

yes, just for some girls you need a very big oven.

[william3rd]

actually, I like the inflatable version rather than the wax version. . . . .

[Jeff S]

I've never known any people you could change very much. I do know that it's usually the women who sets the level of happiness in the family - a good very reason for marrying a happy girl.

[whitey]

Some times ago, I was reading a true story about a married couple. In the last, writer conclude, that the woman is like WAX that can be fabricated in any shape by melting it with heat of love. What do you think that a girl of this modern age can be in such a way?
 

Why would anyone want to completely re-shape the person you're supposed to be in love with?  We are all imperfect, but there's a big difference between small tweaks and transformations.

I'm with Jeff on this one ... people don't change much ... and the woman DOES set the level of happiness in the family, unless the man is very overbearing.

My first wife was not very happy ... my current (last!) wife is a much happier person ...

[Bob_S]

Some times ago, I was reading a true story about a married couple. In the last, writer conclude, that the woman is like WAX that can be fabricated in any shape by melting it with heat of love. What do you think that a girl of this modern age can be in such a way?

It depends on the woman's motivation.  But mostly, no.

But why change her?  Find one who is already the person you want her to be.  Easier and less stress on both of you.

Besides, how can you trust someone in the long term who is so malleable?  Wax is not so strong and fails when little stress is applied.

[robert angel]

Re:

>>Some times ago, I was reading a true story about a married couple. In the last, writer conclude, that the woman is like WAX that can be fabricated in any shape by melting it with heat of love. What do you think that a girl of this modern age can be in such a way?<<

With my ex wife, giving her more ' heat of love', or even  putting her in a cauldron of hot, boiling oil, wouldn't have made her 'wax' and ways any differently 'fabricated'.

 But yea, I do think there are a lot of other women who for whatever reasons, haven't had a lot of luck of luck from guys and if they do find one, they open up like beautiful, appreciative flowers and can make great, warm, lovingly involved wives and mothers.

But IF they have prostituted, been abused by guys over and over again or even worse if they never had much, if any, love as a child from family, they may never respond. They may have a sort of 'post traumatic stress syndrome' and have defense mechanisms and ways, with an inabilities to fully bond with people and other issues as well.

Some broken dolls are just too broken and are beyond the point of repair.

[Researcher]

    It's a big mistake to marry someone thinking you can change them.One of the advantages of international dating is there are ALOT of single women out there.One of the difficulties is getting to really know them from a distance.I took my time and visited my wife alot.It was worth it.
My wife is fairly independent and not easily influenced by others.I consider that a plus.


  Researcher

[Jeff S]

I'm with you Researcher. Find someone who's intelligent and confident, and she'll likely not easily be influenced by others. Getting to know here is much more important than is usually talked about here. I spent about 15 weeks with my girlfriend / fiancée before we got married over two years and four trips (she made two here and I made two there visiting each other, though I'd spent much more time in Japan before I met her.)