5 Languages of Love

[Fosgate5]

I get a lot of road time and listen to audio books to kill the boredom. When a 5+ year relationship went on the skids a few years back I really reflected where I went wrong or some of the reasons I should not have gotten involved with her early on. Not long ago a cousin of mine was tossing out a box of stuff and this audio book set caught my attention as I'm always looking for something interesting to listen to in order to kill the boredom of a long drive. Six Months went by before it came up in rotation and I listened to it. Real interesting and decent perspective on keeping your love for one another alive. I want to be the best husband I can and she wants to be the best wife she can be. I chatted with my cousin about the audio book asking if he had any more. Apparently he does (he is in the same industry and drives a lot also.). He and his wife routinely listens to such audio books not only to kill the boredom but as a reminder to one another and keep doing the right things to inspire each other. Thought I'd just drop this here and share.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhQevDxrsjM

[Wildstubby]

Wow! That is indeed quite the book. I just previewed a few pages of it. I guess I could have used a good dose of it about 30 years ago! But alas, that is water under the bridge! I am a reader since I seem to glean more from eyesight and I can reread it over again should I not understand what the author is trying to impression in me. Good suggestion!

[Fosgate5]

Video Link


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhQevDxrsjM&t=8224s

[robert angel]

Mix here. My wife's gotta be touched. First thing once one of us is in the door, is a hug and a kiss at least. And having a king sized bed, with us reading, on-line or watching TV, we can't let the distance be too great for long, as she'll point out.

And affirming each other, verbal support, 'build me ups' is important, as she somehow still can't accept her abilities to compete as an English second language worker in a company that's 99.9% white and conservative.  But when the CEO heard she was mulling her oprions, he said: "We can't let her go"--not that she let that statement go to her head. Being a bit insecure drives her and gives me a valuable role in keeping her going.  But she boosts me too. But words of praise and affirmation and there's gotta be some ---"I love you's" daily---or else the room grows erriely cold, are definitely required.

That, and each of us looking the other over, making sure the other looks good, is important. So what if she hates the camouflage shorts I'm wearing this Sunday,  at least I know she cares....

[Wildstubby]

Mix here. My wife's gotta be touched. First thing once one of us is in the door, is a hug and a kiss at least. And having a king sized bed, with us reading, on-line or watching TV, we can't let the distance be too great for long, as she'll point out.

And affirming each other, verbal support, 'build me ups' is important, as she somehow still can't accept her abilities to compete as an English second language worker in a company that's 99.9% white and conservative.  But when the CEO heard she was mulling her oprions, he said: "We can't let her go"--not that she let that statement go to her head. Being a bit insecure drives her and gives me a valuable role in keeping her going.  But she boosts me too. But words of praise and affirmation and there's gotta be some ---"I love you's" daily---or else the room grows erriely cold, are definitely required.

That, and each of us looking the other over, making sure the other looks good, is important. So what if she hates the camouflage shorts I'm wearing this Sunday,  at least I know she cares....

That is kewl! I am quite envious. I can only hope that my next better half can attain such a relationship with me and I with her!

[robert angel]

That is kewl! I am quite envious. I can only hope that my next better half can attain such a relationship with me and I with her!

Thanks man---Wishing you the best in your future. The saying, the mindset: "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is true.

While that might be part of the attraction, with opposites attracting each other, it's real easy for me to get too far out of orbit. After a while,  it's too easy to take the blessings of life for granted, including most importantly, each other. And to forget to be thankful for things you DON'T HAVE----a nagging wife, or a cold, silent, passive aggressive relationship.

And while we might have aches, pains and "conditions" each day, us living a life where we're not in in chronic pain from countless things that millions of other people face daily, being aware of  having decent health and insurance- - that helps.

Once in a while we think about the bigger houses, the fancier, newer cars and other "things", but we usually bring ourselves back down to earth pretty quickly.

Seeing, thinking about the jobless, homeless people  both here and abroad - - - about how in her country  if you don't have upfront money, no matter your illness, the hospital won't let you enter, readjusts our attitude.

And a spontaneous "I love you baby", a dollar store card, flowers-- - whether you picked them outside the house or dropped $5 on a few daisys, that's the kinda stuff that goes a long way.

She pretty much handles the kitchen stuff, but after we're settled in, me asking her: "Can I fix you a cup of tea, Hon?" always brings a smile.

So does expressing thoughts about her family, and helping them out, in even the smallest ways. I'll ask her in full sincerity "When's the last time you spoke with your Mom--your sisters?" and reaffirming that bond is good too.

But as simple, inexpensive and easy things like that sound, seem---it's easier yet to get so caught up in work and family dramas, really getting too caught up ina whole bunch of things that life throws at us, that we let the 'little things' slip away, undone.

And like grains of sand in an hour glass, it happens slowly, imperceptibly, until you might wake up one day wondering "Where did our love go?".

Usually it ran out because one or both forgot to keep adding just a little bit for way too long.