How it's gonna be.

[Dave H]

Hey Ray,

I moved to the Philippine province (Mindanao) 2 weeks ago from the US. My wife and daughter moved over at the end of January. So far, I have not achieved the ‘simple Filipino life’ as we have been rather busy (baby boy born last week, mother and baby doing good). But I’m getting closer with every passing day. I am doubtful that I will ever be as simple as a Filipino, as I am sort of like 'the Professor' on Gilligan’s Island. Maybe I will build a bamboo bicycle or jeep.  I like technology, especially the primitive and basic. However, the shower's instant water heater broke before I arrived and I have thus far resisted the temptation to fix or replace it. I am giving bathing with the tabo a serious try...and getting better with it. I am still awaiting my purple tabo’s arrival from the US via balikbayan box. Unlike most Filipinos, I have the hot (boiled on stove) and cold water pails which I blend in my tabo to get the perfect temperature. Keeping with my nature, I will probably lay out black water pipe on the roof to make a solar water heater. I do walk all over town and will fix up my mountain bike.

I agree with you as to what constitutes a ‘simple life.’

From my experience, a Filipino’s idea of a “simple life” is one without all the stress of big city life.

The simple life means a non-materialistic existence, without a lot of technology or modern conveniences, where simple pleasures are appreciated in a more stress-free environment.

Ray

 Filipinas make important decisions every day. Some as basic as what to prepare for dinner, others more complex as how to stretch the family pesos and the health and raising of children. The decision to become pregnant ultimately belongs to the female in most cases.

To me the ‘simple life’ means an uncomplicated (up with the sun, down with the moon), non-materialistic life, with good health, enough food to eat, adequate shelter, and good education for the children. Good conversation and interaction with friends and relatives, rather than competition for material goods.

Dave 'Professor' H.

[Ray]

Dave (professor),

Congratulations on the arrival of the little one. Sounds like you just made it in time. Where’s my cyber cigar? (I’ll probably be sorry I asked). 

Those tabo showers aren’t bad. I used to mix a medium saucepan of hot water from the stove into a 5-gallon bucket of cold water and scoop it on with the tabo. It was just right! But most of the time I enjoyed the shock of an ice-cold tabo of water over my head in the morning to get the circulation going. It’s not that bad this time of the year if you have a strong heart.

Do you have a roof-top tank? At the wife’s place in the province they have a mountain spring up above the house and a pipe to deliver it directly to the CRs. Holy Shyt that water is cold! But it’s refreshing in the summer after a swim in the warm sea.

Have you seen any crucifixions today? I remember a traffic jam in Surigao City when two mock crucifixion processions met at the same intersection at the same time on their way to the hill where they hold a lot of Good Friday celebrations. After some brief negotiations between the two crowds, I guess the senior Jesus got to go first while the other took a break and waited his turn. Don’t you just love that place?

Have a Happy Easter and say hello to the wife and little ones…

Ray

[Bear]

I wouldn't want a new guy here to meet a Filipina lady who says she is "simple" or enjoys a "simple life" and automatically assume that she meant that she wants a man to make all of the decisions in her life.

This was never inferred.  Remember i said, "...just that I'd better do it her way or be right in my decisions, else I get the dreaded "tampo".

Now on the subject of the role of the man in the typical Filipino family. Don't be fooled by outward appearances. For anyone looking in, the perception is that the man is in charge and makes all the important decisions while the wife does not openly disagree or dispute his authority.

However, under the surface, I think it's typical that the wife plays a much bigger role in decision making than is apparent to the untrained eye. Typically, the wife takes charge of the family finances and plays a key role in making important decisions. I think you recognized that when you said that your wife wants you to make the decisions as long as they agree with her opinions. It's typically a team effort but with the Man's authority never being publicly disputed.

Women in my opinion, no matter what culture are in control.  Guys think with the little head and most girls know it.  I think you miss understand what I'm saying completely.  Too many Kanos are demasculated by most other world culture standards.  Now gun shy of "being the 'MAN'" because AWs use political efforts to punish men.  Simple life to a Filipina doesn't mean sitting and talking with a man about the things he should be responsible for or even giving him opinions to help the decision process.  Simple life to them is exactly what I said,  "...just that I'd better do it her way or be right in my decisions, else I get the dreaded "tampo".  That sounds nothing like a man controlling anything.

But, many many times I've seen these demasculated men go after a Filipina and not "make the decisions a man would make" and get eaten alive "with prejudice".  Clearly they see a wimpy man as someone deserving no consideration or mercy because he leaves them vulnerable to other control.  Filipinas ARE easily influenced by peers.

From, CBear's posts its clear his girlfriend is clearly an achiever, just as my wife is, nothing attempted is failed.  But if you read much of what's being said she is achieving what others have planned for her.  CBear listens to what she wants then tell her thats whats going to be, like its his choices, and in her eyes it is, her opinion is supported, defended and secure and if anyone wants to challenge it they have to go to CBear, not her - but it is very clearly 'what she wants'.  He is making her life "simple".  Remember my situation with Honey's cousin or the college.  Both were exactly the same - she was doing what her 'family decided was right' and being 'controlled' by others who ignored her preferences.  So she 'complained' to me and 'I decided' to take charge and do it my way (which was to do exactly what she wanted done).  But she could then tell her parents and her college professors if they had a problem with it "deal with Bear".  Hers was now the "simple life".  She had a "man" who looked out for her choices.  Had I not done that, her family would have easily convinced her to take "my" money and assist them because they were controlling her - she had no choice.

Cbear is in no way "controlling" or "making decisions" for her/them.  He is being the "man" she needs to do the things she wants to do, he is giving her the "simple life" as I have come to understand the Filipino culture.

The Bear Family

[Bear]

Dave!!!  Congratulations!!! 

Enjoy your life dude - you deserve it.

The Bear Family

[Dave H]

Thanks Bear!

The same to you! I am thinking about taking up surfing again. I will look for a longboard or a stand-up paddleboard.

Dave

[Bear]

Gosh I miss my long board!!!    Why you have to dredge up that old memory!  I can't even find my old picture of my 62 Ford Falcon Station Wagon with my board on top!!!!

The Bear Family

[Jeff S]

Surfing ain't what it used to be - at least not here in Surf City USA. Too many surf nazis. I'd definitely take it up again in someplace like the Philippines - probably with a serious longboard maybe a 12 footer:



Now THAT was surfing!

[Swisskid]

Surfing ain't what it used to be - at least not here in Surf City USA. Too many surf nazis. I'd definitely take it up again in someplace like the Philippines - probably with a serious longboard maybe a 12 footer:

I ride a 9'6" longboard these days and I am lucky to live just north of 75 miles of beach where you can drive your 4x4 on the beach until you find a sandbar that is breaking.  If you are lucky you might have it to yourself....

I can't wait to do some surfing in the Philippines.  Next trip I'm heading north to La Union if I have time.....

[Bob_S]

Surfing, nazis, and 'gators.  Alright, here ya go.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXYfnWRp1Q0

[Dave H]

Hey Jeff,

Surf punks and nazis screwed up much of the US surfing scene, even the east coast. I was amazed when I started seeing guys surfing with weapons. Fortunately, I was always bigger than the average surfer! Definately a more laid back scene with the locals here. I plan to visit Cloud Nine on Siargao Island soon and maybe catch some international stars. I doubt that I will do any board surfing there at this point...just swim and take pictures.

Hiroshi Yokohama is the founder and surf sensei of the Yokahama Surfing School in La Union. It isThe first surfing school in the Philippines. http://www.yokohamasurf.com.ph/

Dave

[Dave H]

Gosh I miss my long board!!!    Why you have to dredge up that old memory!  I can't even find my old picture of my 62 Ford Falcon Station Wagon with my board on top!!!!

The Bear Family

Hey Bear,

I used to have a 65 Volkswagen Beetle. When I started making a little money, I bought a used Volkswagen camper and lived right on the beach. I sure wish I had it here in the Philippines! I never got stuck in sand or mud. Maybe I can build a camper on my little Suzuki 4X4 pickup.

Dave

[Dave H]

Hey Swisskid,

SWEET!

Dave

[Dave H]

Dave (professor),

Congratulations on the arrival of the little one. Sounds like you just made it in time. Where’s my cyber cigar? (I’ll probably be sorry I asked). 

Thanks Ray!

You have to hold on for 7 seconds to get the cigar. 

Do you have a roof-top tank? At the wife’s place in the province they have a mountain spring up above the house and a pipe to deliver it directly to the CRs. Holy Shyt that water is cold! But it’s refreshing in the summer after a swim in the warm sea.

No, I have a large ground level water storage tank and a pump with a smaller pressurized tank. We are on city water, but the volume and water pressure is usually low. I think someone bi-passed the large storage tank while I was gone, as we keep running out of water...which is not possible! Water shot out of the faucets upstairs the last time I was here. I would like to put the large water tank on a tower.

Have you seen any crucifixions today? I remember a traffic jam in Surigao City when two mock crucifixion processions met at the same intersection at the same time on their way to the hill where they hold a lot of Good Friday celebrations. After some brief negotiations between the two crowds, I guess the senior Jesus got to go first while the other took a break and waited his turn. Don’t you just love that place?

Have a Happy Easter and say hello to the wife and little ones…

Ray

I haven't seen any local crucifixions, but I have been home all day. I saw some on the news.

This place really is a TRIP!  Happy Easter and hi to your wife and family as well!

Dave

[stevjulietb]

Dave, I will pass on the c gar.  Juliet, AJ and myself wish you 4 all the best.  We are in the early planning stages of a Bohol trip this coming christmas, Keep the S.M cold for me?

Steveb

[Dave H]

Hi Steve, Juliet, and AJ,

Thanks! Keep me posted on your Bohol trip. We can probably get together for that San Miguel. I'm stocking the spare fridge and keeping it cold! 

Dave