to the naysayers about never sending money.

[Cbear]

OK, first let me say that if you are a newbie, your gonna get scammed if you send money. SO DON'T.

But some of the guys on here think that you should never send a girl money for any reason whatsoever. I disagree with that.

I just sent my girl in the Philippines $300USD. About 14,000php.

I gave her instructions on what to do with it.

I told her to make our reservation at the resort we are going to and to make reservations for a nice hotel in manila.

She made the reservations at the resort. (I already knew the cost) and then found a really nice place in manila, she paid in full 2 rooms for 2 nights and still has 3500php left over. She hasn't spent any of it on anything she wasn't supposed to. I even told her she could but she refuses.

So guys, as long as the girl is an honest girl then there are times when it is wise to send her money. I would never have been able to find the hotel in manlia online or anything even close to as nice for anywhere close to the money she paid.

As some might recall, this is the girl who I tried to send money to before but she wouldn't accept it. The only reason she did this time was because it wasn't for her per se. But for the my trip.

I will land in manila on Saturday. I am just a bit excited to say the least.
 

[joemc58]

have a nice time and we need a good trip report

[utopiacowboy]

Your case doesn't really qualify as one of those cases where chicks are constantly wanting money for this and that. You sent her money so she could get something specific and your relationship was far enough along that she merited the trust you placed in her. I did the same thing with my wife and sent her money to buy tickets and several days lodging in San Andres.

[jm21-2]

I think most guys on here have suggested that having your girl make the arrangements is a good idea, as it shows how she spends money and she doesn't get any sort of special "tax" for Americans.

That's a different scenario than a girl asking you for some money to help out her sick grandmother or for tuition, as UC said...and I also think it's a bad idea to send money to her to try to win her affection.

Isn't this the first time you've gone to meet a girl you met over the internet? If so, then that would make you a newbie as well...

[Cbear]

First time meeting someone over the internet, yes, but I have a lot of experience in the Philippines. I wouldn't call myself a newbie.

There are some on here who advocate never sending money for any reason, ANY REASON. Even after you've met her in person. Those are who I was really aiming this towards.

I agree that you shouldn't send money for Grandmas medical or tuition (I did the tuition thing once and got burned but I knew that was a very real possibility before I sent it)

But never say never.

I will have a detailed trip report when I get back. Especially about the food. Of all things, she wants to try mexican food. Anyone know of a mexican place in Manila. I know of one in Angeles and I know there are Taco Bells in Manila but Taco Bell?? Come on.

[Romello]

Hey Cbear

I send money to my lady every month.  I she wants it or not.  When you have good communication and trust...you can feel the honesty in someone.  My Lady works and has upgraded herself from the squatters are to an apartment.  She did this because the city has decided to tare down part of that are to make roads. 

It's her stuff and she wants to hold on to it for as long as possible.  I've told her none of that stuff is coming to the US, but she wants to keep it until that time.

Have a good time, just remember to keep some emergency cash on you.  No one tells you, but there is a fee when leaving the Philippines, and they do not take the card, so have some cash on you when you leave.

Romello

[Heruamen]

Romello when is Francy coming to America and what city do you live in. you might have mentioned it before but i forgot.

[Old_dude07]

Have a great time.  I too agree, it depends on the situation.  I read of some guys that are adamant about NEVER sending money as Cbear talks about, even some that are in relationships.  I think that is kind of insulting.

[Ray]

First time meeting someone over the internet, yes, but I have a lot of experience in the Philippines. I wouldn't call myself a newbie.

There are some on here who advocate never sending money for any reason, ANY REASON. Even after you've met her in person. Those are who I was really aiming this towards.

I agree that you shouldn't send money for Grandmas medical or tuition (I did the tuition thing once and got burned but I knew that was a very real possibility before I sent it)

But never say never.

I will have a detailed trip report when I get back. Especially about the food. Of all things, she wants to try mexican food. Anyone know of a mexican place in Manila. I know of one in Angeles and I know there are Taco Bells in Manila but Taco Bell?? Come on.

OK, I give up. Who said NEVER send money FOR ANY REASON? I have been on this forum for 10 years and cannot think of who you might be talking about. Do you have a name or reference to a post?

You have been constantly arguing with guys here who give reasonable advice to keep money out of any new relationship until you have met in person. You insist on sending money and attempt to portray others as unreasonable because of their advice.

You are now once again claiming that you were burned because you insisted on sending money to a girl who didn't want your money. You told us that you were not scammed, so why do you insist on continuing with this nonsense?

Only a rookie or a fool would send money to a girl that he hasn't met, even when she didn't ask for it, and then complain about it later. You insisted on doing it so please don't play the victim.

Now why did you send money for her to make a reservation? I have never made a reservation in the Philippines that required payment of cash in advance. Paying cash in advance before you see the place and inspect the room is not too smart IMHO.

Again, if you want to send money, go right ahead. But PLEASE don't come on here and cry about getting burnt or scammed because of your own foolishness.

Ray

[piglett]

Hey Cbear

It's her stuff and she wants to hold on to it for as long as possible.  I've told her none of that stuff is coming to the US, but she wants to keep it until that time.
  Romello

I would guess you are just talking about cheep household stuff that would be easy to replace at walmart.
how about if there is something she really wants to bring with her?? some old chair that granny left her.
how do you decide?
i know if i was going to move to another country i would sell or give away most of what i have but there are some things that would HAVE to come with me

my 66' mustang comes to mind first!!! last year a friend of mine had a correct craft competition style ski boat that was no longer sea worthy but it had a really "NASTY" 351 Windsor in it , he said that whenever he was having a bad day he would go out & start this baby up, from what i gather it would shake all the windows in the neighborhood & it sounded so dam good that he couldn't help but feel better. well i make a short story long i now own this engine & it will soon be residing under the hood of my 66'
     
also my big toolbox with every tool known to man in it would have to come with me
& my 300 amp Lincoln welder, that baby will weld up to 1 1/2" thick steel with no trouble so i couldn't ever part with it.   
90% of the rest of what i have is just stuff & i could get more

piglett

[Cbear]

OK, I give up. Who said NEVER send money FOR ANY REASON? I have been on this forum for 10 years and cannot think of who you might be talking about. Do you have a name or reference to a post?

You have been constantly arguing with guys here who give reasonable advice to keep money out of any new relationship until you have met in person. You insist on sending money and attempt to portray others as unreasonable because of their advice.

You are now once again claiming that you were burned because you insisted on sending money to a girl who didn't want your money. You told us that you were not scammed, so why do you insist on continuing with this nonsense?

Only a rookie or a fool would send money to a girl that he hasn't met, even when she didn't ask for it, and then complain about it later. You insisted on doing it so please don't play the victim.

Now why did you send money for her to make a reservation? I have never made a reservation in the Philippines that required payment of cash in advance. Paying cash in advance before you see the place and inspect the room is not too smart IMHO.

Again, if you want to send money, go right ahead. But PLEASE don't come on here and cry about getting burnt or scammed because of your own foolishness.

Ray

Look at the spy on my novia thread. It is full of people saying never send money and a couple even saying never for any reason.

I don't think others are unreasonable in their advice but to say never is unreasonable. There are exceptions to every rule.

I did get burned by that girl and she is a scammer, if you want I'll post everything I have on her. And for the record, I'm not the one going after her to prosecute. My case would be very weak, the pi has many other victims he is advocating for and he is pushing it, not me.

I am not playing the victim, I am just letting others know that it does indeed happen, So don't be foolish. I'm using myself as the bad example.

As for her making reservations. Most of the high end resorts require reservations or you won't get in. The place I really wanted to go was booked solid for both weeks I am going to be there. I'm glad I didn't just wing it and travel there only to find out there was no rooms. My girl got better rates than what is posted on the websites. She also found a hotel that I would not have been able to find after 1 am in the morning when I arrive in Manila. She has inspected the rooms in Manila. I will take my chance on the resort we booked.

[Bear]

I think this is a different situation, its time to see if she's what she says she is so sending the money for her to start putting down deposits for your vacation is expected.  I sent my wife (when she was my fiancee') about the same and she was so happy to give me the remainder back when I got there - like she was scared having it.  I know with my wife even after marriage she still didn't like accepting money from me because her family took unfair advantage of us over her having money.

Other than that, to give someone money for the sake of giving or because they have some sob story is a big mistake and way to many Kanos do it.  To help my wife though I used to buy her ZOOM cards and pay for her cybercafe computer access so we could chat but the money didn't go through her.

The Bear Family

[Romello]

Romello when is Francy coming to America and what city do you live in. you might have mentioned it before but i forgot.

It is safe to say the Francy will be her in October.  The wedding date is set for December 18th.  I'm currently putting together the wedding plans now. 

We will live here in Houston, Texas. 

She wants to find work, but I'm leaving that up to her.  A coworker of my sister is Filipino and she will help out with finding Francy a job.  Myself, I don't care.  I've lived in this apartment complex for 3 years.  I've already made plans to move to a larger two bedroom.  I am already taking care of things here with my son.  I've never really needed any help with the bills, but I do not and will not stand in her way if she wants to work.

A friend told me this story and I want to share it with you men.

A Lion is a Lion.  No matter what he does or where he goes...he is still a Lion.  He does not need to roar to be seen as a lion.  He does not need to attack the females to show power.  The whole jungle knows he's a lion.

Now replace "lion" with "man".

Romello

[Ray]

It is safe to say the Francy will be her in October.  The wedding date is set for December 18th.  I'm currently putting together the wedding plans now. 

It is NEVER safe to assume anything in this process.

I would strongly recommend that you guys don't make any firm plans for travel, wedding dates, or pay any deposits until after she is holding that visa in her hands.

You just never know...

Ray

[stevjulietb]

I feel the same as you Ray...you never know,,,as for money....you never know...

Steveb

[Dave H]

Never be too sure of yourself! "Never send money!" is very good advice to someone in a casual relationship, especially those who have not met in person. Of course there are a few circumstances where it may be appropriate if one wanted to send money. Unfortunately many guys think that they are in 'very serious relationships' with women they have never met that have 'serious relationships' with several other men as well. I know some personally. One is married to a Filipino seaman another to a policeman. I also know several who now have very nice cement block houses thanks to their foreign 'fiances.' One is a 32 y/o ladyboy (I couldn't leave them out)   who was able to pass the man onto his young female cousin when he arrived and was able to keep the house for himself. The 18 y/o cousin and her fiancee built a bigger house in another area, where she now lives with her Filipino boyfriend since the "fiance" is away. There are plenty of married ladies and ones with live-in boyfriends who frequent the Internet cafes. I have seen them at the Internet cafe of my wife's cousin. I even know several who passed their husbands off as their brothers and their kids as nephews and nieces. Then went off to the hotel with their 'fiancee,' became engaged and now receive money. One married lady somehow even made it to America undetected. These people are making very good money from men that they have never met in person! I know 3 straight guys who pretend not to have a camera or have a lady pose for a few minutes then pretend the camera went out. They have had a good laugh and have managed to make a few extra bucks as well at the foreigners' expense. Most of these circumstances could be avoided with a little common sense!

Hmmm...I have a purple G-string, my daughter's black Halloween wig and 3 computers in the Philippines.   I will bring another this trip. Better yet, I will hire some of the local girls to help me fleece Kanos out of thousands of dollars. NOT! But it would be very profitable and SO EASY to do! It is a good thing that I have a meager pention, a small bit of conscience, and a few morals.

Remember, there is the 'Kano price,' the 'OSW (Overseas worker) price,' the 'Filipina with a Kano price,' and the 'Filipino price.' Fortunately my wife always gets us the 'Filipino price.' Some ladies can't help but brag that they have a Kano and pay the 'Filipina with a Kano price.' My friend recently managed to save about $100 a night at a Boracay resort when he convinced them that he was just a simple Filipino and not to charge him OSW price.

You have to be flexible in this process! Nothing ever goes exactly as planned, but can be easily straightened out if you are not too rigid in your planning.

Dave

[aakerfelt]

It is a very good idea to never send money to a person you have never met in person. There might be a few exeptions to this rule, but very few.

After starting a relationship I do not see a big problem to send money if you use your head and not use it as a way to "buy your girl". After getting engaged I see even fewer restrictions, since you allready made the commitment to share your life.

But allways use common sence! I see no problem in sending money in sending money that will be used for a common vacation (That is if you allready have met the girl and you have a relationship)

[Shadow_mas]

There is a problem with sending money even when in a relationship. A little money goes a long way, and what you might not miss can elevate status and provide a comfortable life for your 'girlfriend'.
This means that as long as you provide, she has all comfort she wants in her own surroundings.
When the time as come to leave it, she might feel her  comfort zone disrupted and get cold feet.
At that time it will depend on if the two of you know each other well enough more than on the money what will happen.
Do not send support money to strangers, even if you have met them.

[Cbear]

trip report. Everything is great, she is wonderful and so sweet, everything I could have hoped for and more.

Being only 18 she isn't that good at getting us the best prices but one of the older ladies is helping her to negotiate. It is a big differnce in prices.

We have been to manila for a couple of days and then spent 4 days in puerta galera. Now we are in Baguio. Her mother got called back to work by her employer on the second day so she only has 1 chaporne now but i still haven't had but a few minutes totally alone with her. I don't mind. She is all i could have dreamed of.

She convinced the hotel to let her use the kitchen and when I arrived (after minight) her and her mothercooked me a huge meal. Giant crabs, seaweed salad, dried fish, rice, veggies. It was the best meal I think I've eaten. She is just learning to cook but I can tell she will have no problems.

I will post some pics and tell some stories when I get back stateside next weekend. We are heading back to manila to meet friends for a special dinner (they won't tell me exactly but it is suppossed to be a really great place with awesome seeafood. My friend is a german guy and his wife is filipina, they know all the good spots)

Alright, you all take care. Back to more fun with my sweetie

[Cbear]

I'm back now stateside and have a trip report started in asia trip reports. So check it out and if you have any questions feel free to ask, I had a great time but didn't want to leave.