so i said i wouldn't write this time..

[RJS]

But I'm so bored lately. I'm working so much that I don't have a significant amount of free-time and I am usually too tired to do much else. And there a couple real hotties I can't really resist writing to. Do any of you guys that write think it interferes with chemistry when you meet? When she's not exactly as you imagined, does your overly picky brain take-over and ruin what may have been a great woman? I'm still not totally decided whether to write or not, but am leaning towards writing again. Last time, I put all my eggs in one basket, and she was a great girl and our ideas about so many things were totally aligned, but too many little things turned me off. The thing i like about writing is I can immediately pick out the girls with educations or a worthwhile profession, as that is important to me. Meeting girls in a bar may be easy down there, but I feel like i may end up spending a lot of time with sexy women that just don't meet the education criteria.

Anyway, the board is slow and i'm just making conversation.

[singlefather no more]

Last time, I put all my eggs in one basket, and she was a great girl and our ideas about so many things were totally aligned, but too many little things turned me off. The thing i like about writing is I can immediately pick out the girls with educations or a worthwhile profession, as that is important to me. Meeting girls in a bar may be easy down there, but I feel like i may end up spending a lot of time with sexy women that just don't meet the education criteria.

My 2 cents write again because as you say " she was a great girl " but it did not quite click for you. So your gut , decision making and search criteria were right on in you finding a good woman. Now you need to find someone you click with and is a good woman.

You going to Peru again or to Colombia ?

singlefather

..

[Chris F]

Writing worked for me in terms of finding a wife but its true that you will not know if you have chemistry with her until their is face to face time.

What I liked about writing is that I had dates ready to go and knew something about each one of them before arriving in Peru.

Before I arrived in Peru, I thought all the women I was writing to (about seven) had equal potential before my trip.

Face to face time with all of them revealed only one did.... my third date...who I later married.

Which is why I will tell you never just write to one woman....write to many as possible and learn a little bit of background on them before you go..

After face to face time, one of those could turn out to be "your winner"

[papi]

Face-to-face ideal but messenger along with pic exchange/cam is highly recommended.

[raycjs]

writing and caming work for me and my wife for 3 months prior to my first trip to meet her in person. It made us both feel more at ease when we first meet because we both know what we each looked like and we had been talking for 3 months so we know all about each others families. I highly recommend you writing first before you go this subject has been talked about many times and there is no right or wrong way only differnet opinions.


Best of Luck

Ray

[RJS]

Ya, I know this has been discussed ad nauseum. Still, I felt like discussing it. I think I will write, but I will have to find a way to balance my expectations and hers with the probability that it won't work out. For the guys that managed to setup several dates with different women, how did you accomplish this (for the ones that lucked out with one woman, this obviously isn't an issue)? Being romantic obviously endears you to them, but it also sets expectations exceedingly high, which can make it much harder to give her the boot. We used MSN and webcam last time, but I think it builds "fake" chemistry. By the time I visited, she was the only girl i was talking to. I had eliminated the others cause i didn't feel they showed enough interest when we spoke on msn or whatever, whereas this girl would always give me her exclusive attention. Even with all the pictures and knowing everything about her, there were still things I didn't like when i spent some time with her. We were very compatible and we enjoyed our time together, but the spark wasn't there and I definitely hurt the girl, which I still don't feel good about. Anyway, I guess I just want to mitigate that. I'd feel guilty about getting too many girls' hopes up because i know the odds of it working out with any one of them. I guess the first step is not writing as often as I did the other girl, and being unavailble on msn as a general rule.

[papi]

I think it makes sense to get to know the chicas beforehand but not to put all your eggs in one basket. MSN provides a great tool for that....

If there is fake chemistry so be it, you are the one that is out the time/money. Really, what does the chica have at stake? Not much in my opinion.

Are we not men?

[no comment]

I wonder if certain women wouldn't rather have just a cyber relationship.  On a recent trip to Lima I had an unremarkable date with a woman and I just assumed we would both move on.  Now she seems more interested in me with e-mails than she was in person.

[papi]

I wonder if certain women wouldn't rather have just a cyber relationship.

YES! They typically fall under the category of cyber-flakes....

[jm21-2]

I can understand how you feel RJS. Maybe start writing girls shortly before visiting so there isn't as much build-up? Get to know maybe a dozen girls in more detail than their profile, but not write enough to get attached? I'm thinking maybe a month or something like that...

[fathertime]

I think webcamming is good because it does make many gals much more comfy with you immediately.  Also it enables you to eliminate the extreme flakes or gals who are just not interested at all in you.


Webcam with as many gals as you like and feel no guilt. In the end you are the more likely to wind up with hurt feelings!  I have seen first-hand that these ladies have dozens of guys hitting them with IM's.  I had a lady over last night, and she logged in briefly to her msn, and within moments she was bombarded with 3 IM's.  So remember you are not alone, at least not at first!

Fathertime!

[RJS]

Yes, I maybe not be alone, but I'm the shizzle. 

[papi]

lso it enables you to eliminate the extreme flakes or gals who are just not interested at all in you.

Not so learned one. Some of these chicas falling under the category of IF (internet flake) can cam for months and then no show

[fathertime]

Not so learned one. Some of these chicas falling under the category of IF (internet flake) can cam for months and then no show

Yo Paparoni!  Someone in my editing department should have thrown the word "Some" in there, then it would have been a more true statement! 

Also it enables you to eliminate SOME of the extreme flakes or gals who are just not interested at all in you.


Fathertime!