scenarios

[bp]

What I want to do here is present a few scenarios meant to illustrate how one begins this process of seeking cross-national relationships. This is not necessarily the "way" it is done, but some of the most probable paths that one might take. Afterwards, I have a few specific questions regarding the scenarios, but feel free to contribute additional input.

Scenario #1

Andrew is a marriage-minded guy who is not content with his local dating options. He is responsible, in a secure career, and has good relationships with his friends and family. Recently, he has decided to look into dating women from Colombia. By doing some research on the net, and interacting in an online community, he finds out that the two most common methods of finding Latin women are through using an agency, or through online dating/matchmaking sites like Latincupid.com. Andrew decides to start his journey by using agencies.

Scenario #2

Ben is a marriage-minded guy who is not content with his local dating options. He is responsible, in a secure career, and has good relationships with his friends and family. Recently, he has decided to look into dating women from Colombia. By doing some research on the net, and interacting in an online community, he finds out that the two most common methods of finding Latin women are through using an agency, or through online dating/matchmaking sites like Latincupid.com. Ben decides to start his journey using the online/matchmaking sites.

Scenario #3

Charles is a marriage-minded guy who is not content with his local dating options. He finds that the women he meets do not have the same marital goals as he does. He thinks that women in America/Canada are generally too self-absorbed and do not put enough effort into their families. He finds that the women he meets do not have the same marital goals as he does. He makes enough money to support a family so his would-be-wife would not have to work. He is responsible, in a secure career, and has good relationships with his friends and family. He would prefer a wife who takes care of the home, while he makes sure his family is financially secure. He has decided to look into finding a wife in Colombia because he has heard that Latin women, more so than American/Canadian women, are more oriented towards family/home life.

Scenario #4

Daniel is a marriage-minded guy who is not content with his local dating options. He finds that the women he meets do not have the same marital goals as he does. He thinks that women in America/Canada are generally too self-absorbed and do not put enough effort into their families. Daniel is responsible, in a secure career, and has good relationships with his friends and family. Recently, he has decided to look into finding a wife in Colombia because he heard that the women there value family/home more than the women in America/Canada. He is open to meeting/marrying an educated woman who is successful in her career and would want to continue pursuing it in North America. However, regardless of career, he wants a woman who puts the family first. After all, Daniel intends to do the same, including an equal share of the housework and parenting.

Scenario #5

Ethan is a marriage-minded guy who is not content with his local dating options. He is responsible, has a secure career, and good relationships with his friends and family. However, despite being marriage-minded, he has decided not to actively pursue any relationships. If he meets someone special in the future, he is open to a relationship. In the meantime, he is satisfied with his career and the relationships he has with his friends and family.

Questions:

1) Are Andrew, Ben, Charles, and Daniel accurate representations of men who would potentially opt for cross-national relationships? If not, please explain.
 
2) How else would you expect the lives of Andrew and Ben to differ? (i.e. politics, religion, education, lifestyle, etc.)

3) How would you expect the outcomes of Andrew and Ben’s search for a Latin woman to differ?

4) Would you expect Charles and Daniel to utilize different methods (agency vs. non-agency) based on what they want in a marriage? Please explain.

5) How else would you expect the lives of Charles and Daniel to differ? (i.e. politics, religion, education, lifestyle, etc.)

6) Charlie and Daniel are looking for different qualities in a woman and marriage. How, if at all, should this influence where (geographically) they focus their search?

7) Most of the guys in these scenarios are still pursuing possible relationships while Ethan is not. What do you think sets them apart from Ethan?

[soltero]

The advent of guys going straight from dating to marriage minded and choosing to bypass American women completely is a fairly new occurrence in regards to numbers. I believe that the guy you have missing here is the guy who is most representative, and that's the guy that married an AW and said to "hell with that!" on the next go around...

[mudd]

1) Are Andrew, Ben, Charles, and Daniel accurate representations of men who would potentially opt for cross-national relationships? If not, please explain.


answer to this question, yes and no.
 50 % of the guys heading down to Colombia( if not more) are going for fun  and are not that serious. some  have issues, IE, social skills are lacking, are way out in left field, just want to have some fun. are missrepresenting themselves, financially, jobs, living situation ect,  and some are just pain weird. i know two men  personally who were in an agency in Medellin,  one was still married with 3 kids, the other had a girlfriend back in Houston. i have seen  many guys who go to Colombia for a week or 2 weeks, meet some girl, and  are engaged within 2 weeks, how stupid,  crazy and desperate is that? like you know a person in  two weeks, doesn't say much for the girls character either.

OK somebody else can answer the other questions.

[jm21-2]

What I want to do here is present a few scenarios meant to illustrate how one begins this process of seeking cross-national relationships. This is not necessarily the "way" it is done, but some of the most probable paths that one might take. Afterwards, I have a few specific questions regarding the scenarios, but feel free to contribute additional input.

Scenario #1

Andrew is a marriage-minded guy who is not content with his local dating options. He is responsible, in a secure career, and has good relationships with his friends and family. Recently, he has decided to look into dating women from Colombia. By doing some research on the net, and interacting in an online community, he finds out that the two most common methods of finding Latin women are through using an agency, or through online dating/matchmaking sites like Latincupid.com. Andrew decides to start his journey by using agencies.

Scenario #2

Ben is a marriage-minded guy who is not content with his local dating options. He is responsible, in a secure career, and has good relationships with his friends and family. Recently, he has decided to look into dating women from Colombia. By doing some research on the net, and interacting in an online community, he finds out that the two most common methods of finding Latin women are through using an agency, or through online dating/matchmaking sites like Latincupid.com. Ben decides to start his journey using the online/matchmaking sites.

Scenario #3

Charles is a marriage-minded guy who is not content with his local dating options. He finds that the women he meets do not have the same marital goals as he does. He thinks that women in America/Canada are generally too self-absorbed and do not put enough effort into their families. He finds that the women he meets do not have the same marital goals as he does. He makes enough money to support a family so his would-be-wife would not have to work. He is responsible, in a secure career, and has good relationships with his friends and family. He would prefer a wife who takes care of the home, while he makes sure his family is financially secure. He has decided to look into finding a wife in Colombia because he has heard that Latin women, more so than American/Canadian women, are more oriented towards family/home life.

Scenario #4

Daniel is a marriage-minded guy who is not content with his local dating options. He finds that the women he meets do not have the same marital goals as he does. He thinks that women in America/Canada are generally too self-absorbed and do not put enough effort into their families. Daniel is responsible, in a secure career, and has good relationships with his friends and family. Recently, he has decided to look into finding a wife in Colombia because he heard that the women there value family/home more than the women in America/Canada. He is open to meeting/marrying an educated woman who is successful in her career and would want to continue pursuing it in North America. However, regardless of career, he wants a woman who puts the family first. After all, Daniel intends to do the same, including an equal share of the housework and parenting.

Scenario #5

Ethan is a marriage-minded guy who is not content with his local dating options. He is responsible, has a secure career, and good relationships with his friends and family. However, despite being marriage-minded, he has decided not to actively pursue any relationships. If he meets someone special in the future, he is open to a relationship. In the meantime, he is satisfied with his career and the relationships he has with his friends and family.

Questions:

1) Are Andrew, Ben, Charles, and Daniel accurate representations of men who would potentially opt for cross-national relationships? If not, please explain.
 
2) How else would you expect the lives of Andrew and Ben to differ? (i.e. politics, religion, education, lifestyle, etc.)

3) How would you expect the outcomes of Andrew and Ben’s search for a Latin woman to differ?

4) Would you expect Charles and Daniel to utilize different methods (agency vs. non-agency) based on what they want in a marriage? Please explain.

5) How else would you expect the lives of Charles and Daniel to differ? (i.e. politics, religion, education, lifestyle, etc.)

6) Charlie and Daniel are looking for different qualities in a woman and marriage. How, if at all, should this influence where (geographically) they focus their search?

7) Most of the guys in these scenarios are still pursuing possible relationships while Ethan is not. What do you think sets them apart from Ethan?

Just from reading a lot of trip reports on this site...
1. See Mudd and Sol's answers. C and D maybe, but it's hard to tell with so little info.
2. A is probably more shy, has less confidence, maybe less spanish skills. Less adventurous. Less social skills.
3. Hard to tell with the information presented. A would probably be more likely to marry too quickly.
4. Can't really tell without more info
5. C more conservative, D more liberal. D maybe more of a spender. Hard to tell with just that info.
6. C would probably be more open to Cali, Baranquilla, Cartagena. D would probably be more interested in Medellin or Bogota.
7. They're more "normal." While ABCD are looking to better their dating options, E has some peculiarity that drives him to look abroad.

EDIT:
I don't think most guys going straight from dating to finding a wife abroad, the few that there are, would be going to Colombia as a first choice. It would probably be Asia or possibly Russia. Here's two portraits I would draw though...

A grew up in a very conservative/traditional environment. He went off to college, and all the girls seemed like selfish whores. He started dating less and less, concentrating on his career (if I'm successful in my career, I'll be able to attract the right type of woman). As he gets into his mid-late twenties he realizes there are fewer and fewer eligible women, and his requirements have gone up, but because he hasn't been dating much, his "game" has gone downhill. Because there are few women who meet his criteria, he gets too into them and comes off as needy/desperate, which puts a prompt end to any chance he had of a relationship. He gets more and more frustrated, and gets involved with some men's rights groups over the internet. He bashes women a bit, but he really wants to find a wife and start a family...he's getting old. He sees some people talk about their foreign wives being much better than AWs. He looks at the web pages of some latin dating agencies. God, those girls are hot! And they're traditional and family centered too! He researches some more and finally decides to sign up for an agency and see what it's like...

More probably, especially if he's a white guy, he's heard about how great Asian girls are, and after college, or after grad school, he goes to teach abroad. If he was going the agency route, he probably found a lot more on Russia than Colombia, and Colombia sounds dangerous.

More likely maybe, is B, who is a young guy who heard that FW are easy, and goes abroad teaching or on vacation looking for some easy sex. He keeps at it and eventually gets hitched to some low quality woman.

[Jeff S]

A little too much paralysis by analysis, IMO. Everyone's case is somewhat different. We just realized we want more adventure and something a different.