the sociologist thread

[bp]

I can understand people's concern about what I'm trying to do here, especially since the community has been burned in the past. I wanted to start this thread so everyone can have a better understanding of what I'm doing/seeing, and clarify if I am interpreting anything wrong. My goal here is to be sure I understand your perspective on cross-national relationships and the marriages/families that emerge from them.

I thought I'd take a page from the book of jen over at RWD and go into a little more detail about where I'm coming from and the work that I do. This post is meant to be an amalgamation of my answers to some of the questions asked of jen when she introduced herself.

For starters, I am not considered to be a feminist. Frequently, I get called a functionalist, and sometimes an interactionist. You can Wiki these terms, but I'm not totally behind Wiki's definition. In short, functionalists are generally more concerned with the "working parts" of something in society. Interactionists believe that society grows, develops, and changes as a result of people continually interacting with each other. Neither perspective allows the researcher to make value judgments about the topic being researched.

Additionally, that's not particularly relevant in my case. As for my personal take on cross-national marriages, it's pretty much the same as my professional take. In fact, most of my research comes from what I find to be personally interesting. I don't think there is anything intrinsically wrong or immoral with cross-national relationships or marriage. Some of the research talks about gender oppression or spousal abuse, but these things also exist in relationships/marriages between people of the same nationality. I don't think that the term "mail-order bride" is accurate for a variety of reasons, the fact that "mail-order" is a total misnomer being one of them. I also don't think that "internet marriage agency" is accurate as well. Both these terms are rather misleading and can mask what is really going on. This is why I use terms

My goals are as follows. I don't want to have my own interpretation of cross-national marriages. I want to collect the sentiments and perspectives of those involved so that I am able to see this phenomenon the way you see it. For my dissertation, I want to live in Colombia for a while, hopefully get involved with a reputable agency, and observe the process as it's happening getting insights from those involved (probably via interview).

This is why I'm asking the questions that I ask, instead of just observing the boards. If I didn't interact, my understanding would be entirely my own perspective and would not be accurate. Case in point, before coming here, I had thought that AFA was a solid reputable agency. Now, the community has provided me with a different perspective in that regard.

I'm totally open to any questions, and set up this thread so we can discuss any issues you all might have with my research. Thanks for your time.

Michael

[bp]

el capitan threw some questions my way in another post...

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=2552.0

so I thought I'd bring them here.

Personally, I would have preferrred to see you do it on day one, but it is what it is.

Same here. I honestly thought that I wasn't allowed to, in the same way that a police officer can't just go around flashing his badge. Not that I have that kind of authority, but a similar principle applies. My own policy is to only study things with which I'm cool, as it lets me be open and honest about everything from the get go.

I truly believe that most guys' won't want to be in the "fish bowl" so to speak...

It's not an experiment.  It's not research.

To be clear, this isn't the "fishbowl". I'm not even at the point where I'm ready for actual study. My perspective/intent at this point is that I don't really know much about this particular phenomenon and I'm here to learn. Also, I'm not here to experiment either. Eventually, I plan to take a participant-observer approach.

You say that your researching for a sociology paper on Latin America culture/relationships.  I have to tell you, that Colombia is not very representative of the rest of Latin America.

So, just what is it that you'll be researching?

Actually, I didn't say that. My orientation is not on Latin American culture/relationships, but on cross-national marriages occurring in western (specifically, American) society. Also, I'm focusing on Latin American women as there's not much research done in that regard. Frankly, the only thing I've found out there is Schaeffer-Grabiel's work, and (to put it nicely) I don't think it really captured the process.

Trying to pigeonhole it down a little further by safety factors/lack of murder...

That had nothing to do with my actual research. I also want to get an idea as to what day-to-day living conditions would be like for me there. Also, all that stuff I did with the tables and murder per capita whatnot was mostly because I used to be a number cruncher in my earlier academic days and every now and again, it's just kinda fun to play with numbers.

I think the most prudent course of action on your part, would be inaction. Sociology is about observation, and the study of social action, is it not?  Observing that action out of it's natural state, could flaw your results.

Inaction could also have me developing inaccurate perspectives. I hope to be doing plenty of observing action in it's natural state when I am in Colombia. But interaction now will help ensure that I have a better understanding of what I am observing later during actual research.

[Kiltboy1]

Colombian guy seduces woman
Colombian guy has child with woman
Colombian guy cheats on woman
Colombian guy beats on woman
Colombian guy leaves woman for younger  woman without child
Colombian guy repeats the same things over again

Colombian woman wants better life with non latino man and thinks a non latino will give her that based on propaganda she sees on TV or hears from one of her girlfriends. Weather is true, who knows, but this is what you will hear in 75% of all woman you will talk to and in an agency maybe close to 85%.


This is what i have heard from the majority of every agency woman I ever talked with and a good % of just women i have talked to when in country or on the internet. If your research contadicts this, then I will look forward to you letting the forum know after your time spent in country

[el capitan]

I'm really quite interested as to why BP's focus is purely on Colombia? 

I think the differences between why guys go to Colombia and why guys go to say Ecuador to find their significant other are hugely significant.  Not that any one of us gentleman is wrong, but there is a dramatic cultural and social difference.

[Kiltboy1]

El Capitan

I am somewhat qualified to answer your question being that my Wife is from Ecuador and also being married to a colombiana in the past and dating more Colombian women then I can even remember. The cultures are completely the opposite. In Colombia and Venezuela, they focus is on beauty, the latest gadgets, dancing and the family, religion and work are more afterthoughts. There is a reason Colombia has more Holidays then any country in the world. Now in Ecuador the focus is on family, working and putting money into houses, stores, whatever they can invest in to secure a better future for themselves and there children. I was expecting to see more of what I saw in Colombia and Venezuela  when i went to Ecuador, but it was a very pleasant surprise. Now, not to say I do not enjoy Colombia or Colombians in general. There are some damn fine people in that country and not all are of the rumba mindset either. Venezuela, wellthere are the most beautiful women in the world in Venezuela IMHO, but they are some of the most stuck up, rude and conceded people I have ever met and the beauty of the women are not Worth the BS they put before you. I know many men that are very happy with there Colombian wives and what works for one does not work for another but as far as culture is concerned, Ecuador and Colombia are complete opposites

KB

[bp]

Kiltboy, I've heard that story often with regards to why LWs participate in this, but I'm also looking to better understand why AMs are utilizing this option.

I'm really quite interested as to why BP's focus is purely on Colombia?

It isn't, well, not really by choice. Before I came to these boards, I was expecting there to be more activity in Peru, Costa Rica, or Ecuador. Colombia is actually the last place I would have expected to see this much activity. The country itself is not of primary concern for my research, but I want to end up in a country that has the most activity.