Ok, I got a few PM's about stuff, since I made a couple of posts recently. Now please keep in mind these are just a few things I found in my experience 9 years ago. Some things I think would still apply, some may not.
1. Picking a girl by the picture:
Well we all do this, looking for the best looking ladies. Well those of us who have made a few trips know the pictures are often not the best representation of the ladies. For example, I met my wife at a party and was very taken by her right away. I asked her to show me her picture from the agency book. Sure enough, I had seen her before, but the picture she chose to be in the book didn't come close to doing her justice, so I didn't have her on my list.
I did pick a few ladies that looks great in the pictures only to be very let down when I met them in person, since the didn't seem to be as pretty in person. On a different note, there were a few that looked great in the pictures and looked great in person. After meeting with them for a half hour, I knew I wasn't interested. No chemistry or something. So the old saying remains true for the most part: "Don't judge a book by it's cover".
2. Preperation for yourself before your trip:
Well when I decided to start this whole adventure of looking outside of the U.S. for a possible spouse I was 27. I wasn't have any trouble getting dates, in fact I had several a month with new ladies. But again, after 30 minutes I knew I wasn't interested, no matter how pretty or smart they were. They didn't have that "it" that I was looking for. So I joined an agency. In the months before my trip I spent a lot of time doing a self evaluation. I took a long hard look at myself. I wanted to figure out who I would be for myself and my potenial new girlfirend (hopefully future wife). I read a few books, did a lot of research online, frequented forums like this, asking tons of questions.
I made a list of things I was looking for in a woman. The list was something like 60+ items important to me. I also took a look at my strengths and weaknesses. This was hard because I could see why some relationships didn't work for me in the past, and how I had a negitive impact on them. I filled a whole note book with stuff. When I made my trip I was ready.
3. Expectations:
I had always thought I would have to settle on some of the things that were important to me when getting married. This was from experience in dating and looking at the people I knew who were married. Well 8 years being married, I still feel I got more than I had ever expected. Why, well I think a lot of it had to do with item #2. I still remember there being guys that had been divorced 2-3 times, and bad mouthing all women. I guess it never occurred to them that some of the blame for their failed marriages might have been because of themselves.
I'll continue more as time allows, but I wanted to post some of these things so could get started.
