Should you tell them?

[garythfla]

i was thinking about my next trip to colombia and i'm not sure what to do when/if this comes up during the course of conversation....
i've been to colombia 3 times (all to see the same girl). we were doing a k-1 and it all fell apart at the last minute (another topic for another day).

anyways...if i meet another woman in colombia it will probably be easy for her to tell i have been to colombia before (especially if i use the same place). should i tell her i was engaged before?
i'm a little hesitant because my former colombiana novia could get very jealous,lol.

i was thiking something along the lines of telling them i have been there before but havent met anyone special (since i didnt get married).....which i guess this would be technically true,lol.

anyways, i wanted to hear how some of the vets handled this.

[william3rd]

uhhhh- I always thought the truth was the most important thing. Omissions are just as good as a lie.
If she finds out the facts are otherwise than you have described, then only God will be able to help you.

[soltero]

I always try to tell the truth. Lies usually come back to bite you in the ass, and the truth always comes out eventually. Better to have a little honor and get it over with than come off like a coward and still get found out.

[el_ruso]

Everyone over 14 has experienced relationships that "fell apart".  There is no shame in that.  I don't think you need to share each and every detail, but you can mention that you you were involved with someone, but it didn't work out, and you are 100% over her.

[jediknight]

always tell the truth, especially if the first relationship got as far as filing papers, the embassy will ask your new fiance if she knew about this if the second relationship ever gets that far. there is no reason to lie, there is nothing shameful about admitting your past. besides, why would you care what your former novia thinks? it's over isn't it?
JK

[Parlay Rey]

I concur 100% with el_ruso. I told my wife that I had been to Colombia before and dated someone but it didn't work out. She understood and just wanted to be sure it was thoroughly over.

[daytrader]

If the latina can't handle the truth, she's not the one you want to be with IMO  She will be trouble later, someday.  There are more than a few latinas in Colombia that will not disappoint you when the ride gets rough.  That's why I have given up on women from USA/Europe, it's just not worth the trouble finding a gal for keeps.
DayTrader

[flipflop]

I wouldnt lie about it, OTOH I wouldnt bring it up or explain more than is necessary. Exs are never a good subject of conversation especially yours

[papi]

i tell them that i started the paperwork before and the chicas dig that. They think i am serious. I tell them that my girl went back to her colombian novio which was the truth.

I am finding out one thing about getting to know these girls overtime is they can get weird on you. You know when a girl really digs you and it sticks before and after the trip. But this is risky business no doubt

[garythfla]

ok....honesty is the best policy. biggest reason i was hesitant is because of the jealousy/grief this other colombian woman put me through but like one of you said...that was probably proof she wasnt the one to begin with. thanks for the insight.

im glad i found this forum. its nice to have a place to bounce ideas around with people that have had the same experiences you have had.

[P Daddy]

NEVER volunteer information...but when questioned be honest, but short and don't go into alot of detail.  It is never good to talk much about past realtionships with someone you are trying to court.  I've never wanted to know much about my girlfriend's past relationships...although, like the true latina that she is, she has questioned me at length about mine

[Jamie]

NEVER volunteer information...but when questioned be honest, but short and don't go into alot of detail.  It is never good to talk much about past realtionships with someone you are trying to court.

Thats it.

[chizz]

P daddy nailed it. I myself will ask a latina if she ever meet or had any north american boyfriend or fiance in the past. The reason I ask is so I could get an idea of whether or not she's serious, and what she is looking for. If I am asked, then I would answer honestly, "yeah, I've had girlfriend in Barranquilla, and had a brief one in Cali, but they didn't work out". Nothing more, nothing less.
Chizz

[bundy_138]

Yeah, tell her the truth.  If she finds out you lied, she might think you lie about other things.  The truth will set you free!

Bundy

[catz]

For what it's worth,

 Any relationship based on lies or half truths is not a geunine relationship. Besides it is so easy to remember the truth. Once you start with the lies you have to remember who you told this to and who you told that to.

Catz

[rpcv]

I'd tell her the truth GarythFla. Wouldn't you want to know if she had been engaged before?

[garythfla]

personally....when i am with a woman (of any nationality), i dont want to know ANYTHING about her past relationships with men.
although i have noticed american women love to talk about their old boyfirends all the time....anyone else notice this?

so far none of the colombian women i have met so far have done that.

[el_ruso]

Well, I do want to know her background, especially if she has been married, or had a long-term bf.  But I don't want to hear about ex-bf's on the first date, or even second.  And I don't like at all when they start to drill me about MY past before I am comfortable sharing it.  Not that I have anything to hide, but it is personal information.

[papi]

i think making a joke about it usually works well