So you think you know your girlfriend/ fiancée?????

[papi]

However, for example if a 23 yo girl, who has not been married, is living by herself or "with friends", it is a red flag.

now this is an enlightening comment....very interesting. i have dated 1 or 2 that fit the profile. the russian might be onto something here....hard to say. I'd be interested in hearing more on this from our resident colombian

[mudd]

Bundy138

(You should have the mentality to treat your woman like a car:  treat it nice, keep up the maintenance, respect and love it.  If it keeps giving you problems and doesn't run right, trade it in for another one.

Also.....PRENUMP!  Works every time! )


Never seen somebody compare a girl to a car in that way, but its pretty close to reality. You want a sports car, looks beautiful, exotic; fast, but expensive and not too reliable,

Or do you want a middle of the road car, cute, but not very exotic, not that thrilling or fast but more affordable, reliable and a lot less headaches.

 Wow, amazing how women and cars line up with each other.

Oh yes, a prenup works well against the gold diggers.

[Cachaco]

I would have to agree with el_ruso that for a young, never married woman in Colombia to live by herself or with someone other than family is very unusual, and should be considered at least a yellow flag...

[chizz]

I think this topic is a great one. There's been many points and counter-points, but I truly feel that the only way to be sure is to  spend as much time talking and seeing the girl as much as possible. I would never marry anyone I haven't known for at least a year in the states, so why would i do it in colombia? This time is well spent getting to know the lady, and have the lady get to know who I am. I believe a minimum of 3 trips would pretty much ice it for me. This may seem long to most, but why rush it?
I also like to ask questions, lots of questions. I pretty much try to get into her thought process, and how she thinks and feels about certain things. If she is talking to other people while we are talking, I couldn't care less, and I let her know. When we actually make it official, then all that stops, on my end and hers. This whole thing is no easy process, and isn't an exact science, but I think with some intelligence and patience, it could pay off.
Bryan

[william3rd]

Stick to your guns, Senor Chizz.

[rpcv]

I would have to agree with el_ruso that for a young, never married woman in Colombia to live by herself or with someone other than family is very unusual, and should be considered at least a yellow flag...

This is interesting people consider this to be a yellow/red flag. The woman I am seeing is 26 y/o, never married, has a job but rents a place in Cali. (her folks live in another small city 15 hours away by bus)

I interpreted this to be a sign she was motivated to find work and is independent. She did spend over 3 weeks at Xmas with her folks so they do get along.

 

[papi]

excellent point! I think you are both correct. Depends on the situation

[papi]

I think this topic is a great one. There's been many points and counter-points, but I truly feel that the only way to be sure is to  spend as much time talking and seeing the girl as much as possible. I would never marry anyone I haven't known for at least a year in the states, so why would i do it in colombia? This time is well spent getting to know the lady, and have the lady get to know who I am. I believe a minimum of 3 trips would pretty much ice it for me. This may seem long to most, but why rush it?
I also like to ask questions, lots of questions. I pretty much try to get into her thought process, and how she thinks and feels about certain things. If she is talking to other people while we are talking, I couldn't care less, and I let her know. When we actually make it official, then all that stops, on my end and hers. This whole thing is no easy process, and isn't an exact science, but I think with some intelligence and patience, it could pay off.
Bryan

smart! very smart!! The long distance thing does not always lend itself to this strategy but i like it. Thanks

[papi]

Also.....PRENUMP!  Works every time! )

no argument here but what happens if they jump ship on you...happens

[mudd]

well, any girl can jump ship, happens with american girls also, get tired of picking up your dirty clothes and crusty underwear, the gringo prince isnt such a prince anymore, but more of a lazy slob, ha ha ha.
but at least a prenup, if done correctly would save a guy from a girl who was putting on a very good act for two years, just long enough to get her green card and find another prince, probably younger than the 1st gringo.

getting married is so easy and fast to do, but getting divorced from a person who isnt so honest and loving anymore, is time comsuming, an emotional roller coaster and expensive.

[papi]

yea, well, it is very painful if they jump ship after you start the paperwork, period! but no argumement on getting a prenupt.

[mudd]

The plot thickens, but is more confusing.  Apparently the guy is not in Bogotá, but in the USA. Apparently he sent her $400 for the American embassy for a visa. And apparently, this is the 1st he has heard of the visa or the guy who sent her the money. He thinks it’s an old boyfriend/ family friend.

But apparently, he sister knows the guy, because she asked him, not to tell her sister about going to bogota, And she asked, if she receives the visa, will he give her a job, and I   just can imagine what kind of job it will be. Here work off the money amor, je je je.

It’s all very confusing, and I am sure it will get more interesting.