My Cyber Novia

[papi]

I always thought the Internet thing was kind of crazy...and maybe I feel better about it having actually met my cyber-novia yet I barely remember her. I think we went out only once or twice 2 years ago...and at the time my head was probably in LA LA land. Yet, call me crazy but I am developing feelings for this woman over the Internet which happened mostly in the last few months after I installed Messenger and got into the IM thing. I never did this before and I don't webcam, yet the exchanges of emails, photos, occasional phone calls and IMing has made me fall for this girl. I wonder what will happen when we meet? Anyone had similar Internet experiences??? Advice???

[ROLITO]

HAVE YOU offered her a cyber -digital camera yet?

 Now in Moderated Status - ALL posts require approval.

[papi]

BP, I bought the camera. I am not sure if she will be paying for it. Life's a gamble...I just don't like to be taken advantage of...but these young hot chicas are smarter than me

[sean126]

I'm surprised with your availability to travel, you haven't already went to be with her.  
There's nothing I haven't tried, more than once, to meet women and to try and find the right one for me.  Unless you've recently met her and spent a little time with her, I wouldn't trust any feelings you have for her right now.  They (your feelings) can be very deceiving.  People tend to get these pictures built up in there head that are more fantasy and wishful thinking than reality, before they meet.  It's natural and understandable, but still...not a smart or good thing.  Usually lonliness or an impatient desire to find the "right one" usually fuels this build up of wishful thinking.  
I say..."unless you've recently met her" because obviously this girl didn't do it for you 2 years ago.  If I was a betting man, I'd say nothing much has changed with either of you (inside) unless you've been dwelling on how long you've been searching.  That might change your perspective a bit.

Advice.....Don't get all worked up over her.  Don't trust your feelings right now until you meet (again).  Go spent a little time with her and see if your feelings are valid...but more importantly, to see if HERS are sincere and valid.  No sense in waiting.   Good Luck dude and remember....you'll always be my horse, even if you never win a race.  

[papi]

you'll always be my horse, even if you never win a race.

LOL!!! solid advice amigo!...I am not too good at taking advice from forum gringos but ask for it on occasion and then end up doing my own thing anyway. Glad to have you on committee. An amigo of mine told me i need to do a better job sifting. He says that he rarely encounters problems with chicas. It probably also makes sense to try and approach it from first trying to be their friends and having a casual attitude but that is easy for him because he lives in Latin America and has a barn full of babes

[Ray]

...I bought the camera. ...I just don't like to be taken advantage of...

           

[P Daddy]

           

I hardly think that buying a camera is being taken advantage of...unless you think that $200 or $ 300 is alot of money.  Actually buying these type of gifts can be a good test for a girl...that is, you can see how she reacts.  But then, some here think that $300 or even $3000 is a fortune, so you're better off hanging here at PL and delivering cracks from the peanut gallery.

[el_ruso]

P Daddy, you miss the point.  $100 is not a lot of money, nor is $300.  However, why would Papi (or anyone else) spend it on someone he barely knows just because she hinted that she might sleep with him?  I can see buying a dinner or something, but cameras?  It is not even the $ amount, it is the action itself, and points to an acute desperation IMO.  It was not even her birthday!

If I am in love with a woman, and feel that she is genuinely interested in me and in having a long-term relationship, I will have no problem sharing with her everything I have.

[Nicks]

CYBER SEX!! Go for it Papi..very safe, and quite fun with a camera

Nicks

[P Daddy]

El Ruso,

Actually I probably AM missing the point regarding Papi...but hell, if he goes and sees the girl (or she travels to Panama to meet him) and he wants to present her with a camera as a gift, well, I don't think that's too much of a stretch.  I might have missed the part where he wrote that he expected her to sleep with him, if so, my bad.

At times I think Papi makes alot of this stuff up, just to f%$k with your minds and get a rise out of some here and those at the "other" site.

I for one have never let any of his actions bother me, nor do I take him too seriously.  Hell, if he wanted to buy the girl a new car, I wouldn't let it bother me too much.  I'm a capitalist, and the more money that circulates in the economy (both here and abroad) the better chance that I might be able to get my hands on some of it one day.

[el_ruso]

Well, you did miss the thread.  The girl did apparently write to him that she can either give him the money or pay him back "in kind".  Regardless, it is his life, and if he wants to put it on popular display, it is his choice.

Your point was that $100 is not much money, and there is no reason why one can't be generous enough to give it to a girl.  Well, I agree with you on that.  (Except that I normally withold spending until I am sure I want the girl for a serious relationship.)  However, there is difference between being generous and being desperate.

[fathertime]

(Except that I normally withold spending until I am sure I want the girl for a serious relationship.)

You afraid to gamble?  If you can smoke em out for a couple hundred dollars that saves you time and hassle which for some is worth a lot more than the money. 

Why do you keep using that gay word "Relationship".  Try to act your age, its booty call! 

Fathertime!

[el_ruso]

When did "relationship" become gay?  Also, what does "acting my age" mean?  I am 30, have my own business, education, stay in shape, don't smoke, hardly ever drink, because I find other more exciting ways to have fun.  I want to get married, have kids and share my life with my family.  Is pursuing that somehow not "acting my age"?

If I meet a girl and I know she will not be "the one", in absence of better options I might try to get laid with her.  Well, I have done that, but was never happy with the arrangement.  To be sure, I will not be investing emotions or money into her, even $100 cameras.  Why I will never dangle a camera in front of a girl to convince her to have sex?  I have too much pride for that unfortunately, as I feel being with me is a great experience for a woman in and of itself, and neither I would EVER associate myself with a woman who could get convinced by a camera.

[fathertime]

When did "relationship" become gay?  Also, what does "acting my age" mean?  I am 30, have my own business, education, stay in shape, don't smoke, hardly ever drink, because I find other more exciting ways to have fun.  I want to get married, have kids and share my life with my family.  Is pursuing that somehow not "acting my age"?

Don't forget to add, incredible sense of humor, to your list of attributes!
 I gotta admit man, I always get a kick and a good laugh from your serious postings.  I sometimes get the feeling your idea of fun is having an intellectual conversation with a beautiful woman, while flossing your teeth in an oxygen bar.    You've been posting for a couple years here and there and you come off like a 55 year old priest, with a pogo....oh never mind I am just giving you crap man...like I said I get a kick out of you!


Fathertime

[daytrader]

Keep posting el_ruso, I enjoy them; some lucky latina is going to get you someday!  There's something to be said for not participating in the degenerative pop-culture that is today' live-for-the moment rage..

Right on, bro,

DayTrader

[papi]

I can't believe I am saying this...but I am almost on the same page as that Russian gringo when it comes to gift buying. I don't believe in spending money until I am in a solid relationship. Although, Ruso is putting words in my mouth again...I think that he and I can at least agree on avoiding giving cash and gifts until mas adelante

[el_ruso]

FT,

1. What is a "pogo"?
2. What exactly is an "oxygen bar"?
3. Nobody has ever accused me of not having a sense of humor ever in my life.  Quite on the contrary.  And I do like however to have an intellectual conversation with a woman (but not the floss); too bad not a lot of women can maintain it.

[Jeff S]

Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.

Costello: Are you the manager?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: You gonna be the coach too?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?

Abbott: Well I should.

Costello: Well then who's on first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the fellow's name.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy on first.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The first baseman.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy playing...

Abbott: Who is on first!

Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.

Abbott: That's the man's name.

Costello: That's who's name?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: Who's playing first?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott: Every dollar of it.

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy that gets...

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Who gets the money...

Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: Whose wife?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Abbott: What's wrong with that?

Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: How does he sign...

Abbott: That's how he signs it.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.

Abbott: No. What is on second base.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: One base at a time!

Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.

Costello: I'm not changing nobody!

Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.

Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: Ok.

Abbott: All right.

PAUSE

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.

Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.

Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

Abbott: No. Who's playing first.

Costello: What's on first?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third.

Costello: There I go, back on third again!

PAUSE

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.

Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?

Costello: Now who's playing third base?

Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

Costello: What am I putting on third.

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: You don't want who on second?

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together:Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.

Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.

Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.

Abbott: Who's playing first.

Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?

Abbott: No, What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first!

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

[Ray]

I hardly think that buying a camera is being taken advantage of...unless you think that $200 or $ 300 is alot of money.  Actually buying these type of gifts can be a good test for a girl...that is, you can see how she reacts.  But then, some here think that $300 or even $3000 is a fortune, so you're better off hanging here at PL and delivering cracks from the peanut gallery.

Well, I see that one went right over you head. Sorry!     

[papi]

As always...funny cartoon. I am not with my amigo Pdaddy on gift buying but friends are not going to agree on everything. I try to follow PL Rule #1 but sometimes slip

[bundy_138]

Papi, I know what you mean by "falling" for a chica online.  I have developed some feelings for a chica I am chatting with from Cali.  She is so sweet, makes me laugh, is attractive and wants a good man to love?!  Why wouldn't you show feelings for someone like that?  We chat online, via webcam, talk on the phone and send letters/pictures to each other.  She has a young daughter and I sent her a few outfits and toys for her for X-mas.  She has NEVER asked me for anything and I willingly sent the items to her.  I even sent her the money to pay the taxes in order to pick the package.  She was EXTREMELY grateful and I know it bought me some serious brownie points.  I did this out of kindness.

I was straight forward with her and told her I was seeing a variety of women when I arrive in Cali and she is fine with it.  She thinks she is "the one" for me and says I will choose her in the end.  I like her confidence and it is a turn-on.

Spending money on a person is ok, going overboard is another.  Go with your gut feeling.  If you think she is worth it, spend the money.  If you spend a few bucks and things don't work, think of it as a bad investment and move on.  Either way you are going to spend money at some point.

Bundy

[el_ruso]

Bundy,

having feelings is fine, perhaps normal, but "falling in love" does require you knowing the person and spending time with her IMO.  Why?  Love is complete acceptance of the other person, her flaws, her past mistakes, her "baggage".  And you can't know her flaws and complete past history by e-mailing.  Having said that, you can build a rapport with a girl, learn a great deal about her, and this could lead you to like her, admire some of her traits, want her to be in your life in some form or fashion.

Your gift was a very nice touch, especially since it was sent to the kid.  It is difficult for many women to accept gifts from strange guys she just met, but if it is for a kid they just can't refuse .  BTW, there are many services available to send packages to Colombia, and they are a LOT cheaper, more reliable, and typically the duty is VERY small.  Depending on where you live of course.  I live in Miami, and I use JetBox.  They have an office in Coral Gables which is close to where I live, they are VERY quick, and sending a package that would cost me like $150-200 via Fedex (with customs duties) costs me $30.  I strongly recommend them, but I don't think they speak much Engish

[bundy_138]

Thanks el_ruso.  I live up in Jacksonville and the only "cheap" option I had was DHL.  I don't think (and I may be wrong) the taxes are based on the contents of the package and not the carrier.  Please correct me if I am wrong.  If that is the case, Jetbox sounds good. 

I also agree about falling in love online, I don't think it can be done.  It is difficult for me to fall in love regardless.  The positive feelings I have for this women are not love, but a feeling of "comfort".  I like her and want to know her better.  I will never commit to someone I do not know. 

Bundy

[el_ruso]

Bundy,

Duties are based on value of contents, but they can be very high in Colombia.  My guess is that Colombian companies have a way to bypass this.  I have sent packages that set me back like $2-3 in duties, and they went through.

Re feelings over internet, it is great you are getting to know the girl, and the whole purpose of communication is to develop this "comfort".  You will have most likely a limited amount of time when you see her, so you will not lose any time for getting that feeling, as well as for her.  GOOD LUCK!