How to find a soulmate in Brasil. (Part 1)

[Long_Way1]

There is not a unique formula for finding a soulmate in a foreign country. Everything depends on each individual. Many factors have to be taken into account. Such factors include but not all: the personality of the man traveling to a foreign country, the criteria he is searching to find in a soulmate, his awareness of the culture.....Given those differences, a girl who can be judged bad by a guy can be a perfect girl for another.

This happen also for all human beings: a guy who is talkative and very open may be a bad candidate for a secret service but a very good candidate for a marketing company while a guy who is less talkative, timid and secretive will be the perfect candidate for bank or secret services.

Despite the fact that everybody has different experiences and can use different paths to find a soulmate, I thought that if one of us can share his approach and experiences or path chosen in his search of the soulmate, those experiences can be an inspiration and a valuable help for seeing the things from a different angle. Sometimes, it can be frustrating  to travel many times to a country, loosing time and money and not finding that special person.
 
I have been only to Brazil. I will try to share here the way I see can help me to find a soulmate. Given that this will be a series of posts and that I don't always have time to write, I will go slowly and add something over the time.
 
This post is intended to be a list of suggestions on how to find a soulmate in Brazil. There are members who have been to Brazil many times and who have more experiences than I do; there are also members who are now married to Brazilian women: I think it will be good to listen to those members. I started searching for Brazilian soulmate in 2003 but it was not until this year I decided to go to Brazil for the first time. The trip has helped me a lot to understand many things I didn't understand for three years.

As many of us know, Brazil doesn't have many marriages agencies like Colombia. Personally, I don't know any but it may be there. I think this may be one of the reasons why many foreigners prefer Colombia to Brazil. Given this fact, one of the options to meet Brazilian girls is to buy the addresses from the introductions agencies such as Latineuro; to correspond with the girls and after that to plan a trip to Brazil. I did the same thing: I bought the addresses from Latineuro in 2003 before traveling to Brazil this year. In this first post, I will share what I think are the advantages and disadvantages of buying addresses and communicating with the girls before traveling to Brazil. I will wait for the reactions of the readers; then next week I will share what happen if instead of doing that, you go directly to Brazil.
 
1) Advantages of communicating with the girl before traveling to Brazil.

 It has been said that people reveal themselves through their writings; this applies also to the girls. When you communicate with the girl through emails and letters, it is true that after a certain time, you can start seeing the way the girl thinks and sometimes her feelings can be revealed. Basically, you will know a little the soul of the girl before even seeing her. The other members can add other advantages but for me, I see only that.

2) Disadvantages of buying addresses and communicating with the girl before traveling to Brazil.

For me, there are more disadvantages than advantages for buying the addresses before going to Brazil. Those disavantages are due mostly to the ignorance of the Brazilian realities and Brazilian culture.
 
Here are some of the realities:

a) Brazil is like the continent: it has almost the size of the United States. When you buy the addresses from Latineuro, Latineuro doesn't tell you in their website from which part of the country the girl is from. Or in Brazil, the beauties are everywhere, even in the slums (favelas). When you buy 15 addresses or 50 addresses, you may find out after that some girls live in Amazon, some girls in Rio DE Janeiro, some in Sao Paulo...Are you going to be travelling all over those places?

b) There is for example Rio DE Janeiro city and Rio DE Janeiro state; Sao Paulo city and Sao Paulo state...If the addresses of the girl is for example:  xxxx Itaguai, RJ. This doesn't mean that the girl lives in Rio DE Janeiro city, instead Itaguai is a suburb three hours from the city of Rio. I went there to see one girl. I was lucky because I was assimilated easily to the Brazilians or Angolans and also I speak fluently Portuguese. I took  bus from Rio centro and it took me three hours to get there. At the bus terminal, I took the cab to go to the favela. I understood it was dangerous because the girl asked the cab driver to come back and pick me later and take me to the bus station. From the bus station, the cab driver waited for a long time until I took the bus again for Rio centro.
 
c) Even if you just buy the addresses from Rio DE Janeiro city of Sao Paulo city, you should keep in mind that most all the Brazilian cities are surrounded by the slums where there is a lot of criminal activities.
In Rio DE Janeiro for example, not two miles far from the famous Copacabana, you have another slum(favela): if you take the avenue or street that goes through the tunnel, you will see it.
I had to see one girl in Realengo (Rio DE Janeiro city). Before going there, I sent an email to the girl to let her know that I was coming. The girl replied and said:"I can come and meet you at the hotel; don't come to Realengo; it's a military place and there are a lot of problems".
 The same thing happenned to me in Paraiba. I was in Joao Pessao (the capital city), I wanted to see one girl in Arara. The address of the girl said: xxx Arara, Campina Grande. I took the bus and went to Campina Grande (the second biggest city in the state of Paraiba). When I got to the bus station, I asked where was Arara. They told me that it was a village 3 hours from Campina Grande and that the big buses were not going there and that I had to take the mini-buses to go there. For those who have been to Campina Grande, the bus station is very close to the big mall. I went to the mall just to take a look. After talking to some people in the mall, they told me: "If you go now,it will be hard to come back because after 6 pm there is no transportation". They told me also that Arara was a village with very few streets and no hotel. I was forced to go back to Joao Pessao the same day.
 
One thing I am trying to point out here is that although people from Latineuro are from Brazil (I am supposing) and know very well their country, they are first concerned about making money and do their business. They receive the addresses of the girls from all aver Brazil and post it: they don't care if the girl is a prostitute or not, if she lives in a dangerous place or not. Or, from the addresses of the girls, they are able to identify some girls living in very dangerous places and where the foreigner will not be safe but, they don't care: they just post the addresses and sell it.

I am not trying to discourage the members from buying the addresses. My advise to the members here is that if someone buy the addresses and start corresponding with the girls, before visiting the girl, he should take the time to get all the information about the environment where the girl lives. If the environment is bad, then don't go there! it is known also that the environment influences the behavior of the people living in. Suppose that you ended up finding that the girl you are trying to marry is living in Cidade de Deus, one of the most dangerous favelas in Rio. What can you expect from that girl?
Brazil is not United States when it comes to security. In USA,in the big cities, someone may steal your fancy sport car if you don't pay attention but I don't think someone will kill you to take your disposable camera that cost few bucks. In Brazil, however, this can happen if you go to favelas.

d) Another disadvantage of buying the addresses is that there is no much information about the girl on the website. Knowing this, Latineuro sells a copy of the letter of the girl for 5 dollars I think. Or someone who has been in Brazil will tell you that Brazil is a hedonist society: people worship their bodies; physical appearance is very important to Brazilians. Just go to Copacabana beach and you will agree with me that it is hard for a foreigner to tell who is a nice girl and who is a prostitute. Consequently, some people end up marrying prostitutes. Brazilian prostitutes look very clean, sweet and nice. A friend of mine I went with to Brazil is still in love with a young prostitute he met there. Prostitutes have nice Bunda and nice apples and they like to show it. Many of them can be considered as models in other countries. When they take their pictures and send it to Latineuro, it is true that those pictures shack the hearts of many people. Someone has to visit Brazil to be able to understand what I am talking about. I talked to one young prostitute in Copacabana. I told her:"you are very young and pretty girl. Why are you doing prostitution instead of being married?" She replied to me:" Don't think that we are making money here when we go to Help disco; prostitution is an illusion, we don't make any money. What can we do ? I came from Minas Gerais to look for job in Rio. I could not get one. It's hard to find a job here. How can I live?" I was very affected.

e) The fifth disdadvantage of buying the addresses is that the probability of getting the replies is very very small and this is due to many factors such as:
  1) The addresses have been listed long time on the site. Many addresses I bought in 2003 are still listed until today; thus 3 years later. The one who have doubt can send me private emails and I will send them the names of some girls (not the addresses) that were listed in 2003 and are still there until today. With a single logic, someone can see that if a girl is very pretty,from 2003 to 2006, she must have received more than 500 letters. Does she have the energy to reply to all those letters considering also the fact that in Brazil, people like to relax.
  2) Many girls who are at least educated continue to go to school and work at the same time. They are too busy and don't have the time to reply.
  3) The ones who are not educated can not reply, it's too hard for them to write a single letter. The illiteracy is one of the big problems in Brazil. The girls from favelas are looking where to find some food, so replying to 20 letters will be too demanding for them.
 4) Some women are highly educated and they are looking for husband. They have some values. The problem here is that to convince those women, you have to touch their hearts and to touch their hearts you must be able to understand the way the look at the life; this lead to the problem of understanding the culture. Consequently, a very nice guy can loose the opportunity of getting a girl because what he thought is important may be an insult from the girl point of view. Brazilians in general are very patriotic. If you talk for example about the many opportunities USA offer as compared to Brazil where there is a lot of poverty, the chances are the girl will reject you. Another example is that here in USA, if you ask a clear question, you will get a clear answer. in Brazil, I realized that the girls have hard time to give yes or no answer even if the question is very clear (this is just my experience).

f) To use an analogy, I would say that in America, the relationship between a guy and a girl can be compared to the relationship between a cat and a mouse. To catch a mouse, the cat turns around waiting for opportunity. So, in America, we will start the conversation about the weather and slowly we will try to see if we can invite the girl to go to movie, to go for lunch and finally if things work we can get something. If we go straightforward and tell the girl what we want, the girl may end up dialing 911 and we are in trouble: sexual harassment....In Brazil on other hand, the relationship can be compared to the relationship between a lion and the antilop. When the lion sees the antilop, it will just jump, catch and start eating. No time to waste. Brazilians are straightforward and very aggressive. The girls are used to that and they expect that to happen. If the girl doesn't like you, she can just reject you but she will not call police because it is expected. In the same way, if you look at at the girl butt on the beach, she will start just smiling and laughing, she will feel very good that you are admiring her. In our country here, this will be considered rude because you are starring. When you write a letter, you have to consider the cultural traits, otherwise, your letter may not have an emotional and desired impact on the girl.

g) Brazilian women talk a lot with their bodies. From the body language, you can tell if the girl likes you or not.When you write,you have to keep in mind that the girl has responded somehow with her body. If you were in her face, you could have read what she thinks about your letter, if she likes you or not. But, from being far from her, you are not able to read that. In other words, not replying to your letter doesn't mean rejection. For the ones who wrote the letters and didn't get any answer, I will advise them to try to see the same girls who didn't reply once they are in Brazil. They will realize like I did that some of the girls did like them but for some reasons, they didn't reply. I experienced this last time I was in Brazil.

At this point, my advises to the seekers will be to ask them to fly and go to Brazil instead of wasting their money buying addresses.First when you buy the address and go to Brazil after an arrangement has been made to meet the girl, you are diminishing your options in that the girl will be waiting for you at the airport,she will be with you all the times (they are extremely jealous) and you will not have the chance to see the other flowers in that paradise. Also, if you buy the addresses, don't tell the girl that you bought her address (this will give her a very bad impression about you: it is too easy to talk to the girls in Brazil or to any Brazilian in general; they are very friendly people and therefore if you buy the address and tell the girl, she may  think that may be something is wrong with you). You can tell the girl that you did get her address from an internet site but don't mention clearly that you bought it. Since it is too easy to talk to Brazilians and too easy for men to approach women in Brazil, this may be the reason why it is hard to set up marriage agencies in Brazil.Frankly speaking, it will not make any sense to Brazilians, I suppose.This is just my opinion.
 
I stop right here. Next week I will talk about how to get I touch with the girls when you are in Brazil.  Again, everything I wrote here are just my personal opinions. I may be wrong on some points. That is why I would like to see some people who have been to Brazil correcting some of the mistakes I made and adding also their personal experiences. Hope you will enjoy the readings and most importantly, you will share also.   

[coolamigo]

Hey Long Way - Thanks for sharing your experiences in Brazil!  I was there in August on a business trip and am now pursuing a relationship with a young lady that I met there.  I approached her and struck up a conversation at a craft fair in Sao Paulo.  She is very humble and sincere, young, beautiful and kind to everyone.  I've dated Latin women in South Florida for many years since my divorce, but this lady is really exceptional.

You are absolutely right it is very easy to meet people and make friends in Brazil.  Even when you make friends with guys there, before you know it, they will be introducing you to women.  Approaching women is much more relaxed than here in the U.S.

One suggestion for guys who want to write to Brazilian women before traveling there is to get on "Orkut", which is free.  Have you tried it?  Orkut is a similar web community like MySpace, but, I think it is run by Google.  It seems much simpler to navigate and view than MySpace.  Brazilians are the number one users of Orkut - I think I read that 20 million users are in Brazil.  I have sat down for hours at a time in total amazement at the thousands and thousands of gorgeous young Brazilian women who are on Orkut - that you can talk too for free.  One drawback, however, is that most Brazilians don't speak any English.  The Orkut profiles will indicate what languages the person speaks.  Also, there are special interest groups (communities) of English speakers.  Its fun, its free and the women are beautiful - give it a try!
 
When is your next trip?

[John330]

Long Way shared a lot of good knowledge about Brazil.  I have been there a few times and concur.
The reason latineuro has over 11,000 girls, is because they absolutely refuse to remove anyone from the site.  So, the 11,000 girls is more like a running total since they started.  Unless a woman calls them up to bitch & moan, they will not remove any profile.  And what are the chances of a poor latin girl, calling long distance to Florida? Many of the profiles are several years old.  So there is a good chance that the address you purchase will be from someone who is married, pregnant or already left the country.    There are also plenty of duplicate profiles.  For example B4082 & B6566...(her real name is Ivanea Jesus Silva...and she is a scam artist) same girl.  Also women run scams on this site routinely.  ESPECIALLY in Brazil....where latineuro is perceived as a cash cow, where desperate men can be suckered out of their money.  So do not send money.   There is no easy way for these women to come to USA.  You can't just buy a VISA....ain't gonna happen.  Normally, I would not blame the a web site owner for these type of issues.  But the truth is, the owners could care less.   Here is a suggestion...save your money, learn the language and just go there. Yes, I have used the site and have personally met with women who were on their.  The women that I did actually meet in Brazil...looked nothing like their picture.  But...the profiles are beautiful!!

[el_ruso]

Long Way is one of the best posts I have seen in a long time, both due to his thoughtfullness and information.  I might not agree with all of his points, but overall it is a very good post.

I have been in Rio in 2005 and did not find women there more attractive to me than Colombianas.  Rio has a lot to see, I liked especially the botanical garden and Tijuca.  But the degree of the "in your face" poverty is simply exceptional.  There are thousands of people sleeping in the streets, using the public sidewalks as a bathroom.  Colombia is not a rich country, but you don't see it there right in front of the nice areas.

I do sometimes check out photos on Latineuro because indeed many of those girls are incredibly beautiful.  However, I doubt I will pursue Brazilian women:
1) I do not speak Portuguese.  I guess I might learn as it is fairly comparable to Spanish.  And they did seem to understand me fairly well when I spoke Spanish to them, but I had a really hard time understanding them.
2) Brazil is very far and more expensive to visit than Colombia.  Sometimes a lot more.    And the connections seem to be in crazy hours.  For example, I have entertained an idea of visiting Salvador, but the fare comes out extremely expensive and the planes arrive and leave in the middle of the night.
3) Brazil does have a reputation for violent crime, and whereas in Colombia it seems to be a function of drug dealers killing each other, in Brazil it is directed at random population.  It frankly scares me to some extent, especially since I do not speak the language.

[Long_Way1]

Hey Long Way - Thanks for sharing your experiences in Brazil!  I was there in August on a business trip and am now pursuing a relationship with a young lady that I met there.  I approached her and struck up a conversation at a craft fair in SaSAaulo.  She is very humble and sincere, young, beautiful and kind to everyone.  I've dated Latin women in South Florida for many years since my divorce, but this lady is really exceptional.

You are absolutely right it is very easy to meet people and make friends in Brazil.  Even when you make friends with guys there, before you know it, they will be introducing you to women.  Approaching women is much more relaxed than here in the U.S.

One suggestion for guys who want to write to Brazilian women before traveling there is to get on "Orkut", which is free.  Have you tried it?  Orkut is a similar web community like MySpace, but, I think it is run by Google.  It seems much simpler to navigate and view than MySpace.  Brazilians are the number one users of Orkut - I think I read that 20 million users are in Brazil.  I have sat down for hours at a time in total amazement at the thousands and thousands of gorgeous young Brazilian women who are on Orkut - that you can talk too for free.  One drawback, however, is that most Brazilians don't speak any English.  The Orkut profiles will indicate what languages the person speaks.  Also, there are special interest groups (communities) of English speakers.  Its fun, its free and the women are beautiful - give it a try!
 
When is your next trip?

Coolamigo,

I agree with you completely. I met a lot of beautiful girls during my trip last year to Brazil. I took a lot of pictures and since I came back, I have been corresponding with them. Having visited, makes a lot of difference. I have a male friend who studied the Law school. He volunteered in the past and went to Africa to help people as an American Peace Corps. He served also in military service before. He is an African American and very interesting guy. One day, he came to see me and started telling me about his past experiences, about the women from Africa, from USA, from Europe. I just asked him one question: "Do you know the capital of bundas?" He said no. Then, I pulled out some pictures from Brazil and showed it to him. He didn't take him two minutes: he looked at me and said:"Hi! Bro, you are 100% right! They don't make them (the girls) like this here (in USA)! I change my mind; I am going to marry a girl from Ipanema (he calls all the Brazilian girls, girls from Ipanema, referring to the old song "the girl from Ipanema").
The only advise I can give is to meet many girls and start corresponding with them before making a serious decision. Through correspondence, you will know the girl if you are a good observer. This helps a lot especially if you have met her before. Brazilian women are so emotional that they have been trained not to hurt someone feelings. In general, it's very hard for Brazilian girl to say straightforward no even if she doesn't like you. Reason why sometimes foreigners can be frustrated when a girl from Brazil has hard time of saying yes or no to an easy and clear question. Using this trait of the culture at your advantage, you can attack (try to talk to a girl without fearing being rejected); there is no such thing as a starring or sexual harassement for looking at or talking to the girl like it is here in USA. Girls expect the men to be aggressive; it's is a part of the culture. Make many friends, communicate with them, don't be too serious, Brazilians like to have fun! With time, it is hard for the girl to hide her character.
I know about orkurt and it is very popular in Brazil. It is run by google as you said. The problem with orkurt is that you have to register and by registering, the ask very personal questions that reveal your identity. When a Brazilian put his/her name and other information such as birthdate, phone number....there, all is true. But, a Brazilian girl will have hard time understanding that in USA and other countries, the identity can be stolen and for that reason, people may use the nickname. If you go by nickname and later on you tell the girl your real name, some girls may think that you have lied to them.
For the ones who want to try  orkurt, their website is www.gazzag.com
There is another thing I can suggest based on what is going on now in Brazil. From 2000 to 2004 (I think), Brazilians could come to USA through a program called "Green card Visa Lottery" This program allows approximately 50 thousands citizens of a country to enter the USA per year. At the end of 2004, Brazil reached the quota. Because of that, it became a little hard for Brazilians to come here. To overcome the obstacle, Brazilians found out a new way to come to USA which was to fly to Mexico (because they didn't need the visa to go to Mexico) and then enter USA illegally through Tijuana, Nogales or other Mexican cities. To stop that, USA put pressure on Mexico to start requesting visas for Brazilians. If you visit the Mexican Embassy in Sao Paulo, you will see long lines of Brazilians seeking visas to enter Mexico. They go to Mexico with the intention of continuing their trip to the promised land. Not all girls who are looking for an opportunity to come to USA are bad, there are many good wives among them. The problem is that it is hard to find a job in Brazil. To meet those girls, you can just go to the restaurants close to the Mexican or Italian Embassy (some try to go to Italy) or Japanese embassy (the ones who have Japanese roots) and I am very conviced you will get a lot of friends in one day. Other thing is to register for English class (even if you you speak English) for few days. There, you will meet a lot of Brazilian women who are trying to learn English and they will be happy to have you. You can also go to the librairy at any public University and you will meet female Brazilian students easily. Knowing portuguese or some words in portuguese help but if you can't speak with your mouth, you can speak or beg with your eyes and Brazilians will be happy because they like drama.
I will be there again this year. It is hard to write everything. If you have a personal question, you can email me at edcarboski@yahoo.com

Hope this helps.

[william3rd]

Be careful with any girl you meet in the US who is looking for the green card. You may get whacked with the OJ brush and there is a definite motivation. . . . . . . .

Whatever country they hail from, if they didnt come lawfully, run away. . . .

GC lottery ( Diversity) allowed for 50,000 annual green cards for low admission countries. There are quotas by region and by country. If a country has too many permanent residents, they are removed from the lottery until their numbers fall back. But their numbers seldom do as the new residents naturalize and then bring over mom and dad, sisters and brothers and all their families as residents. One anchor can bring 50 or more relatives. . . . .