Comment about Cali diamonds experience and suggestions for Newbies

[papi]

Wayne, moreover, you simply can only trust a small % of these chicas, especially the young hotties.  That is why I keep warning to expect the unexpected.  On my end, I simply can no longer trust them.  Some guys get lucky but when playing with fire you can get burned.  Guys can take precautions such as getting prenuptials and so forth but it will be a lot of pain and aggravation if she skips on the visa or pulls some other crap…been there done that.  I guess if I had all the answers I’d be happily married but if guys want to believe the hype – they may be setting themselves up for a lot of heartache down the road.  Still, I guess it beats the alternative…choking el pollo

[doombug]

Welcome aboard, Wayne5.

Very interesting first post.

It's safe to say, almost anywhere you go in the world, the locals aren't so impressed by those they've grown accustomed to being arround. In my travels, I've experienced the full range of reactions from the locals to my presence--from stark astonishment to sheer ambivalence.

[Wayne5]

From Angie, Wayne´s wife.

1st when you come to cali.  The decent girls are not in agencies.  Those are the desperate ones that don´t have a chance with a decent Colombian guy.  Because the guys know how dangerous that can be dating these girls.  The chicas from Agua blanca, La floresta, marroquin, Junin, Alfonso Lopez, Siloe, etc etc,. have families that are involved with Guerrillas, the´re very uneducated because of the lack of resources, and they can barely spell their names.  Those girls are told by their brothers to go and find a gringo with money so they can get a motorcycle and become the traqueto man.  And when they find that guy, they have to support the whole family because no one has the education to find a job.  Even to sweep the street you have to have a high school  education.  When I went the US I was excited about meeting Colombian girls, but I was dissapointed when I met Gloria because she wasn´t the type of people I was used to hanging out with in Colombia.  She had a little boy, and was pregnant with a second child, and the father told her to get an abortion and marry the gringo.  If she would go and get money in the US, he would sign the exit papers to let the boy out.  She said, la vida nos cambio.  I was disgusted by her greed, and I don´t think a gringo like this would date such a low class girl in the US.  Another example, LM...I invite her to have lunch and she had the most horrible vocabulary I´ve ever heard.  She told me that she graduated from high school at age 23, and that is not normal in Colombia.  Most normal people get out of high school at 16 to 17yo.  She never had a job or worked before, and now she´s an opinionated critical person who just wants to criticise American people.  When she is in Colombia, she has a big head and mis treats her colombian family and friends.  Her family used to live in a bad neighborhood, and now her family lives in a better place thanks to the gringo money machine.  Her sister´s boyfriend got killed right in front of her eyes.

Ask where the girls live, and if they mention any of those bad neighborhoods, don´t even bother to meet the family. 

Here we go.  Every clinic has a panaderia in front of it.  Go and look for the girls wearing uniforms, they have an education and a job, and good families.  Find a translator and talk to the girls in front of the panaderia. Girls are nice here.  Buy a membership and go to the best gym you can afford.  If you don´t have the time to do this, come and have fun, but don´t get involved.  Tell the girls that you just have a little job and she will have to work really hard in the future.  Watch for her response.

I met my husband at an agency.  But it was my 1st call.  I was looking for an address one day and met the father of the owner of the agency.  He drug me inside and I filled out a questionaire.  My info went to the bottom of the pile and was never posted because I didn´t pay the membership.  A year later they called my old phone, and I wasn´t there.  They gave my new phone, and they got in touch with me.  I didn´t even remember who these people were.  My secretary was looking for the company because she also didn´t know who these people were looking for me.  We thought we were getting a shipment or something.   I reluctantly agreed to the meeting setting aside 30 minutes.  My friend and I had a bet going, ad I bet he was old, fat, and bald.  My driver took me there to check out the place, and I went in.  My friend won the bet, and he wasn´t old, fat, or bald.  I liked him because he was compassionate, and since I was working with the catholic church, doing volunteer work, I thought he was a good man, and poor because he was also doing some volunteer work in Colombia.   I invited him to chinese food so we could get alot of food and cheap.

I worry when I meet these Colombian womens married to these gringos, because not even my horny brother wouldn´t go out with one of those girls.

Come and rent a place here, live here for at least 3 months and get introduced to good girls.  Live here with the girl for a while and see what you got.

If you don´t have the time to do it right, don´t get serious.

Try to blend in, you will get used to the sun. Lose the sunglasses, don´t wear sandals, don´t wear shorts on the weekdays. 

Don´t let the girls take you to expensive restaraunts like Tortelli, crepes and waffles, Corral, Archies.  Take them to karens pizza, or Frijoles verdes, Simon Parilla, or in the begginning just for Dari ice cream, not Ventolini, or Mimos.  Don´t start flashing the money around even if it´s no big deal for you.  If she´s happy with these small things, then reward her later with something nicer.

Never, but never tell them where you are staying.  Invent a different hotel name.  Kidnaps are still happening, and things are always just great right before they aren´t.  Just because you have been here for a while and nothing has happened doesn´t mean it´s not going to happen..

Demand that your future an current wife learn to speak English without excuses.  Don´t fall for the ït´s just my accent lame excuse¨ My English is almost perfect now because I worked hard at it.  If they are too lazy to work at it, you have a bad girl on your hands.

The girl must either adapt to the new culture or she will always be rejected from the new culture.  And likely you are going to get rejected out too.

More later.

[papi]

good post…here are some of my thoughts

1.  Colombians tend to be the most paranoid.  If I listened to them I would have never left my hotel.

2.  In my opinion, agency chicas are generally the bottom of the barrel.  That being said, you can find plenty of lowlifes outside the agencies.  Probably the most unreliable are the younger and more attractive women.  More importantly, there is a % of sincere, good women in agencies, etc. 

3.  I have visited poor neighborhoods.  I don’t think we can lump all the poor women as bad.  Some are good sincere folks that will extend a gringo a warm welcome. 

4.  FARC does not specifically target gringos although they do have a handful in captivity.  The bigger problem is the so called "million dollar ride"…or quickie kidnapping to empty a gringos ATM’s (and rob $1 mil pesos or more).  Use caution with taxis…occasionally a chica might be in on it but that is a rarity.  It is better to call a taxi rather than hail one off the streets but I often don’t follow my own advice regarding this matter and just try to keep aware of my surroundings, etc.

5.  Agencies still offer one of the best vehicles for meeting women especially for those on a short timeframe.  Another option is to work the online but again I don’t feel these women are all that much different than agency chicas.  Still, online is a viable option. 

Many guys are going south on short vacations to hopefully meet and marry someone so to discourage them from avoiding agencies altogether is probably doing them a disservice.  Go but with eyes wide open is probably a better suggestion.

[blockbuster]

 Wayne's wife. Most of what you wrote will go in one ear and out the other. You have to understand,though  you want to help, most of the guys here want to believe in fantasies the agencies sprout and get angry and think you have a bad agenda when you tell the truth.

     Some of these Americans target the poorer girls,since poorer girls  do not have the luxury of being too picky for an American guy who may not be physically or socially fit.In other words, it's easier for them to get a much younger and beautiful poor girl with little education, than a middle class girl with an education as the middle class girl will have more options due to the class structure of Colombia,

  Agencies have brainwashed these guys to believe age,looks,weight does not matter(exactly your concerns before meeting your husband, Perfectly normal for a young girl. It's not normal not to care as it shows you are not in touch with what you want). Even income does not matter according to agencies since all they want is a man who can support them and all these girls want is for a man to treat them well since all Colombian men are no good.

   What these guys don't realize i there are a lot of good Colombian men who would be great husbands and faithful. But these girls are not assesible to that sort of guy because many of the young hot ones are looking for men with money. So the good guy who may be a bit poor gets ignored,much like the beautiful gringas ignore men with lower incomes.

The advantage an American has in Colombia is he will look like the type of man she wants,one with money simply because he's American. He can afford to vacation, pay for a hotel ect. Compared to what they make his salary looks great.

   Unfortunately,since many of those relationships are not built on love from the women's side, girl will get here and be very dissapointed when she discovers the gringo she thought was rich is'nt. Her family is dissapointed because when they ask her to literally support all of them her gringo can't since he is not as big an earner as they all thought. So the girl then eventually decides as soon as she can she will get a job in the U.S. and send mony back home. Resentment is already being set on the gringo because now she has to work to have money. This also makes for a situation where she begins to look for bigger and better now that she has her own cash and plenty of men around who don't care how dumb she may be.

[daytrader]

My recent FIRST HAND (thanks Dan for your recent posting requesting first person experiences) experience at ACG --
--- I met two ladies waiting for adjustment of status, neither of them were losers, one of them (Peggy) is off the charts
--- I met several other gringo/latina couples, on this trip and the first one; they are doing fine, the guy must have his act together.  All these guys did.
--- At ChipeChapa (sp) Mall, a young mother approached me and another gringo waiting for our dates and in pretty good english explained the challenges and joys of a gringo dating a Colombian latina. She was very positive about the experience and her man and she had a great deal of maturity, far more than most single American women her age. Her daughter was well behaved, which is the norm that I see throughout Cali. 
--- At the bullifghts last night it is obvious who is and who is not a prospect for a gringo if doesn't want to be taken.
--- The Colombian economy is BOOMING, there is quite a bit of wealth down here and there is NO NEED to ever be around a woman that needs your dinero for everyday expenses. 

My observation of this forum the past 8 weeks is that there is a constant negativity from some posters ****that can't seem to get a girl*** and they constantly start and add threads that constantly beat the same unnecessarily negative drumbeat.  These women down here are NOT desperate, although the ones that are unattached and have children may have a low standard  of living. 

--Use your head,
-- use good judgement,
-- meet their parents and familia. 
-- If you have a history of making lousy decisions in the States then down here it won't be any different.
-- If you don't have your act together financially, emotionally then don't come. 
-- If you want to dump a bunch sh** on a girl like you do in the States, don't come and ruin it for the gringos that WILL treat them right.

Things are good down here if YOU ARE REALISTIC
Things are good down here if you are NOT TRYING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE of a woman

The culture and people are wonderful,  Cali is a big city and is safe (for the most part) -- hire a good driver/translator and he will guide on to the path of success. 

Reporting LIVE from the heart south Cali,

DAYTRADER

[blockbuster]

Dt,
    You are optomistic and I feel that is great. But may give a false impression to many newbies. All is not the bed of roses you see. Live in Colombia for a year and I guarentee your eyes will open. Many of these people no matter how good natured will try to take advantage of the gringo because money and materialsim is very important in Colombia. Why do you think there are newspapaer articles which point out 40% or more of the middle class college students will prostitute themselves for money to buy designer items. that is a large % and those are the ones that admit it. Perhaps that is a bigger eye opener than anything. Can you imagine what the poorer class are willing to do?

    As William3rd who is a lawyer and his other lawyer friends have observed. These relationships have a very high failure rate. You may think these guys are a great catch for these gals, but do you know what some of these gals may be thinking? Do you know their lives? Do you know for sure they are not looking for a better life financially and that is their prime motivator? 

   Most women have a primary motivation to marry a man of means. Her main motivator should be she has found her soulmate. The man of her dreams physically and emotionally. We seem to forget a lot of young women still have romantic notions of men. Most would prefer Ricky Martin or Luis Miquel than the Donald Trump looking sort of guys that show up. they may settle for that initially, but people who settle usually try to get their wants met once there are choices. Hence they get to the U.S. and the high failure rate happens because she is not fully satisfied with her choice and has her own version of buyers remorse.

 I agree with you realism in what you can keep is great for a man who wants a lasting relationship and has much to lose in a divorce and really does'nt want to keep going back for another woman as though she is a puppy.

 But most guys do not excersize realism as they feel they can go back and get another one and  another one , and they have little to lose financially because they don't have much saved up so they don't care about a divorce.

[doombug]

My friend and I had a bet going, a[n]d I bet he was old, fat, and bald.

 

FBOMs (Fat, Bald, Old Men).

We were just remarking about this a few days ago.

Ray has since refined the moniker to be F-BOMs.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge of Colombia's social workings. It was an interesting read.

[Patrick]

Ray has since refined the moniker to be F-BOMs.

And as we all know,  F-BOMs work as Walmart security guards.  Can we work in "WSG" somewhere in there without ruining the aesthetics?

Most would prefer Ricky Martin or Luis Miquel than the Donald Trump looking sort of guys that show up. they may settle for that initially, but people who settle usually try to get their wants met once there are choices. Hence they get to the U.S. and the high failure rate happens because she is not fully satisfied with her choice and has her own version of buyers remorse.

Hey Blockbuster,

If you want a good marriage, don't go for a woman who expects a Ricky Martin.  In other words, don't go too far outside the age/attractiveness level you could find right here in the USA.  IMHO, men who head to SA, or any MOB country, should not be going there simply because they think they can land the young hottie types.

[blockbuster]

Patrick,

    Most of the guys want the young hottie tyes and really give little regard to whether she may want them back. They feel it's a fair exchange, her beauty and youth for his money. Who the hell cares how far they are from being her dreamguy. Even fat guys begin to tell themselves they are a sexy love Machine and begin to believe it in Colombia.
unfortunately, bringing her back to the
U.S. takes away any leverege he may have had.But most guys don't think about that. They would rather believe in the fantasy and if it does'nt work out go back and get another. Pretty soon though IMBRA will begin to make it more difficult to simply go back for another one. Then what?

[papi]

All is not the bed of roses you see.

BB, I have attempted to get that message across but our optimistic traveler has it all figured out in 2 trips.  Well, I am happy for him.  I have seen some guys find paradise on their first trip.  But you are right…it is not always what you see.  Hopefully, our friend won’t wakeup one day with his furniture cleaned out