Doweries.

[Dangodummy]

Hello all,

  Anyone have any recent experience with doweries in Thailand? What can a westener expect? Lady is college educated, and speaks english fluently. She is also the youngest in the family and parents are pretty well off. It is my understanding that she inherits her parents home and rice farm (no disire to be a rice farmer). She also has island property.   

Thanks Dummy

[william3rd]

The Dowery is decided upon by the parents of the girl. It is a cultural issue in eastern thailand but still practiced throughout the country.

Doweries are for unmarried women only. . . .


The bride price can be a token or substantial. It has no bearing on the financial status of the family. It has a relationship to your finances if anything.

I paid 4000 dollars in cash and 4000 in jewelry for my son's mother in 1992- 100000 baht in cash.

I have heard of doweries of 100,000 US dollars even for a Thai to Thai marriage.

The parents can do with the dowery what they wish-you are paying for the loss of their daughter's services to the family-real or imagined. Many families will then gift the dowery back to the married couple in a purchase of land-belongs to the wife. BUT-they do not have to.

The amount of the dower may also gauge the acceptability of the son in law to the parents. In other words- FARANG- you want her so bad, then you pay the price for her.

If you do not pay, then your girlfriend loses face big time and so does her family. In many cases, the family disowns her if she marries you without a dower and you are not welcome in their home.

Hope this helps

[Jeff S]

Hmmm - learn something new every day.

So it does not apply to divorced or widowed women, only those never married before?

- Jeff

[william3rd]

It should not apply to divorcees or widows-their family collected the first time through. I am aware that many eastern Thailand families will try to collect a second time if the husband is farang.

Big face for the family but not culturally correct.

Thailand- land of contradictions

[Jeff S]

So are these things negotiated? Seems kind of funny:

"Naw, she's not worth ten grand. If she had bigger boobs, maybe, but with those A cups, $7500 is my top offer. I can always get Thip down the street for 6."

I shouldn't make light of ancient cultural traditions, I know, but this is the first time I've come across this practice in the 21st century.

[william3rd]

Just another version of the "cargo" system. Anthro 101.

If the parents really HATE the suitor, they can make a very high demand. Historically, they could also marry off their daughter to someone she didnt like for the dower although they usually let a desired suitor "match" the offer. I think the NFL borrowed a little from that in modified free agency.